Could this be love?
by octoberdemons
Summary: Andy Biersack is one of the Outcasts - Hated, bullied, the lowest of the low. Ashley Purdy, on the other hand, is one of the Populars - A jock, feared, loved, respected, and accepted. What happens when they fall in love and their two worlds collide? Rated M just in case. ;)
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: After reading many many Andley fanfictions, I decided to go ahead and try writing one myself. I think it'll be fun. =)_

_As many know, Andley is the shipping name for Andy Biersack and Ashley Purdy. Since they are both guys… This is a boyxboy fanfiction. Don't read if you don't like it. THANK YOU. 3_

_I know that the members of Black Veil Brides are all different ages, but for the purposes of this story, they're all going to be about sixteen and in high school. =)_

_Please comment! I can only improve my writing with positive OR negative feedback! Let me know what you guys think! 3 Cheers!_

Justin looked at me with his dark gray eyes that were filled with pure loathing hate. I looked around quickly. None of my friends were around me. In fact, no one was around me, which was odd because it was still the middle of lunch. Usually the court yard was full of kids laughing and eating lunch. Not today though. Today, it was just me and Justin. I slowly made eye contact with him, the corners of his lips lifting into a sneer. I blinked, and suddenly Justin was in front of me. I was tall, usually towering over people at almost six feet tall… But Justin was taller. And he was stronger, much stronger. He grabbed the front of my shirt and lifted me up so that my toes just barely touched the ground. He looked into my fear-filled eyes and opened his mouth in what I presume was a laugh, but not a sound came out. Suddenly, he stopped and looked back into my eyes. I panicked and tried to scream for help, but my scream got stuck in my throat and instead I coughed, again, however, not a sound was heard. Justin raised his fist and pulled it back as I closed my eyes and prepared for the painful beating that was sure to follow. Time seemed to suddenly stop. I could feel his fist moving the air as it sped towards my face and…

And I woke up. I opened my eyes quickly and looked around, relieved yet terrified that my encounter with Justin was just a dream. I only wished all of them were. Then I wouldn't have such a low self esteem and bruises covering my body from head to toe. I sighed, bringing my hand to my face to cover my eyes. I was relieved for quite obvious reasons, such as not actually having being beaten up, yet I was terrified that Justin was now haunting my dreams. Now not only did I have to deal with him at school, but in my sleep as well, where I was supposed to be safe.

My alarm clock starting beeping, pulling me out of my thoughts and telling me, very loudly, that it was now six thirty in the morning. I removed my hand from my face and began to search for the 'off' button on the clock. After a seemingly long and painful search, the clock was finally silent and I slowly sat up.

I really wished that today wasn't Monday, but wishing never got anyone anywhere. It was Monday, and I had to go to school, and that was that. I brought my knees up to my chest, hugging them with my left arm as my right hand searched under my pillow for my phone. When my long fingers grasped it, I pulled it out and flicked through my new messages.

"One message from Jake. One message from Jinxx. Two messages from CC. And, of course, seven messages from Sandra. Not including the three missed calls." I sighed to myself, not bothering to respond to any of the texts. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends almost as much as I love my parents, and I know they're just worried about me, but they can be such over-protective little fucks. I guess they had reason to be though; I haven't been at school for just over a week now, and I haven't talked to anyone in that time either. I just stopped showing up for school with no warning, no reason that anyone knew off, just… Nothing. Of course, I had my reasons for not going to school for a week, I was in an extremely bad place during that time. My depression was worse, my suicidal thoughts were worse, my cutting was worse, and my eating disorder was worse. I didn't need Justin or any of his friends pushing me over the edge, so I did the logical thing and stayed home. Now, you may be saying to yourself, "Andy! What was the thing that started this spiral of depression and self-hate?" Well, that thing was Scout.

Scout was my girlfriend of three years and she was my everything. I had given that girl all I had and in return I got nothing but heart break. Just under two weeks ago, she sent me a text message, breaking up with me. No explanation, and no farther contact. We were together for three fucking years and she breaks up with me in a seven word text message. Un-fucking-believable, right? That's why I didn't go to school for a week. And that's also why I didn't tell any of my friends the reason; I was too ashamed.

But I promised myself, and Sandra in a one word message, that I'd go back to school today, so here we are. Although I was starting to regret that promise. I would love nothing more than to pull the covers back over my head and sleep the day away. A light, soft knock pulled me back from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I called.

"Are you going to school today hun?" My mum asked.

"Yeah," I replied shortly. "Just getting into the shower now."

"Okay. I wont be able to drive you today so you can take the car. Just be careful driving. Your father and I wont be home for dinner either, but we left some frozen pizza in the freezer." She said before walking away.

I sighed and swung my legs over the side of my bed before shuffling to the bathroom. Carefully as to not see my reflection in the mirror, I started the shower and stripped my clothes off, throwing them into the dirty clothes hamper. Stepping in, I instantly felt myself relax. The worries and regrets washed away from my body with the hot water and rinsed down the drain. After about ten minutes of letting the warm water engulf my body, I poured some of my shampoo in my hand and began to scrub my long, black hair.

Twenty-five minutes later, I was standing in front of my cupboard, black hair dripping onto my dark, hardwood floor. I had picked out my favourite black, ripped up jeans five minutes ago, but I still couldn't decide on the perfect shirt. The way I saw it is, if I was going to school today, I might as well look my best. After discarding multiple band T-Shirts, I picked out my favourite long-sleeved plaid buttoned-up shirt and a black vest. Slipping them on, I took a quick look in my full-length mirror, slowing buttoning the black vest. I shook my head and unbuttoned it again, deciding to leave it open.

Rolling up the sleeves of the shirt, I walked to the bathroom. While waiting for my straightener to heat up, I quickly dried my hair, brushed my teeth, and brushed a light layer of black eye shadow over the lids of my eyes. The finishing touch was a thick layer of eyeliner outlining my light blue eyes. The straightener beeped, indicating that it was now hot enough. It usually took me about five minutes to straighten and lightly tease the top of my hair, but since I had to look perfect today, it took me fifteen. Finally, I was dressed and somewhat confident that I could face this dreadful day.

I rushed downstairs, beaten up black and white backpack slung over my right shoulder. My parents had already gone to work, so I could easily skip breakfast without their annoying questions. I glanced at the clock before rushing out the door; 8:30. I had plenty of time to get to school, considering it was only a five minute drive, so I stopped rushing a little bit. I was in no hurry to get to school by any means.

Locking the front door and pocketing the key, I breathed in the sweet poison that was my cigarette. It was my first one in a few days because I was way too lazy to get out of bed this weekend, so the lack of oxygen made me feel a little light headed. Lots of people actually enjoy that feeling of light headedness, me though? I hated it. It reminded me too much of the feeling you get from not eating enough for a few days, or the feeling you get when you overdose on too many pills…

I shook my head of the morbid thoughts and stomped out the smoke. It was a relatively chilly march morning, so I shivered slightly as I unlocked my Dad's car door. I used to have my own shitty car, but I totaled it one night driving home from a friend's house and I didn't have enough money to buy a new one. Hell, I barely had enough money to buy the one I destroyed. My parents were mad, obviously, but they just recently calmed down enough to let me borrow Dad's car every so often now that my parents carpool to work. If they knew the real reason why I crashed however? Not a chance. Needless to say, that was the last time I ever got wasted.

I pulled up to school singing "All Hell Breaks Loose" by the Misfits at the top of my lungs and killed the engin.

"I don't want to go in. I don't want to be here. It was a mistake coming. You don't belong here. You don't belong anywhere. Go home Andy." I whispered to myself, feeling my breath coming quickly, my heart pounding in my throat. I was just about to start the car and get the fuck outta there when there was a bang at the passenger's door, making me jump through the roof.

I clutched my chest and looked over, seeing CC's smiling face pressed up against the window.

"ANNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYY ." He screamed, sticking out his tongue and pressing that to the window as well.

"Gross." I moaned with a smile, collecting my bag and getting out of the car. Quite suddenly, I was tackled by a very happy Jake.

"Andy!" He squeaked, "I thought you were dead!"

I laughed. "Nope, still alive and kicking."

"Where the fuck were you!"

I looked over, seeing Sandra making her way to my car with a scowl embedded on her face. I groaned and Jake let go.

"Someone is in trouble," He sang.

"Thanks buddy." I grumbled. "Hey Sandra."

"Hey Sandra? Hey Sandra?! You have been gone for a fucking week! No phone call, no texts , nothing! You just left and all you can say is 'Hey Sandra'?" She screamed, getting in my face. Which would had been intimidating if she wasn't only 5'2".

"Oi!" I said, backing up with my hands in the air. "I needed time alone!"

"For fucking what." She asked, crossing her arms against her chest.

I paused. Did I really want to tell them why I was feeling so down? I was still really embarrassed and hurt about not only Scout breaking up with me, but the WAY she broke up with me. I glanced at my friends, making a semi-circle around me and sighed.

"Scout broke up with me." I mumbled.

"What?" Sandra asked.

I sighed again. "Scout broke up with me." I said a little louder. "Through text message."

Immediately, Sandra relaxed. Pity and worry replacing the anger in her facial expressions.

"Oh, hunny. Fuck. I'm sorry…" She trailed off.

We stood there in awkward silence until Jinxx broke it.

"You were together for three years and she broke up with you through text message?"

"Yep." I muttered.

"That fucking cunt." CC said.

"Did she say why?" Jake asked, earning a punch from Sandra.

"How fucking inconsiderate could you get?" She whispered through clenched teeth. "You don't have to tell us Andy…"

I sighed. It would probably make me feel better if I told them, right? "No. It's okay." I turned to Jake. "She didn't give any reason. In fact, she hasn't contacted me since she dumped me. All I got was a seven word text message, 'I am sorry Andy, but it's over.'"

"That's it?" Sandra asked, her mouth open in pure shock.

"That's it." I grumbled.

Just then, the bell signalling class rang out. "Look, we can talk about this over lunch, kay?" I said, turning away. I didn't want their pity. I didn't want their worry. I just wanted to be left alone.

"Okay, see ya Andy." CC said.

The next three hours blurred together pretty quickly. Nothing extremely eventful happened in any of my classes, except that, of course, since I was away for a week, the teachers thought it would be fun to pick on me more than usual. In was extremely hard to pretend I wasn't there when they weren't up for playing along.

But finally, the bell for lunch rang and I stuffed my maths work into my backpack and all but ran out the door. I quickly walked to my locker, feeling pretty great about today. I hadn't missed all that much in any of my classes, so catching up should be no problem. Seeing my friends again made me realise how much I missed them and how lucky I was to have them. There were no mean notes posted to my locker door. And, best of all, I hadn't seen Justin or the twats he calls friends at all so far today. Today was starting to look like it could be a brilliant day.

I smiled to myself has a opened my locker to shove my backpack in when the locker door was slammed shut on my fingers.

"Hey fag!" A voice sneered behind me. "We missed you!"

I swallowed a groan as I felt fear built up inside of me. Of course I spoke too soon.

Justin.


	2. Chapter 2

Ashley Point-of-View

I woke with a groan, my alarm clock screaming at me to wake up. I rolled over, only opening one eye to look at the time; 7:00 am. I let another groan escape my lips as I slammed my hand down upon the snooze button and angrily rolled over. I didn't want to get up, but I knew I had to. I have never missed a day of school in my life.

"But that doesn't mean I have to _want _to go to school." I whispered to myself, staring at the white ceiling above me.

I stayed like that for about another five minutes before I forced myself to get up, moaning softly as my muscles screamed against it. I was still stiff and sore from football practice Friday, even though it was Monday. It was one hell of a practice, that's for sure. No one ever assumes I'm a football player because I don't look like your typical jock, but that doesn't mean I'm not accepted by them. I look like the Outcasts as we referred to them; the long black hair, leather, tight jeans, chains, and the fact that I wear makeup and listen to rock and metal. But I wasn't treated like an Outcast. I was feared, respected and accepted, while they were not. They were bullied, picked on, and the lowest of the low. Everyone knew it, even they knew it. My friends and fellow team members hated them and had a great time picking on them, especially my best friend Justin. I have never joined in on the beatings or torment, but I have never tried to stop it either.

"That makes me just as bad as Justin," I thought to myself, feeling slightly guilty as I headed towards the shower. I shook my head violetly as I started the shower, mently slapping myself.

"Just because you look like them doesn't mean you're automatically obligated to be their friends." I reminded myself. "It's not your fault you're popular and they're not."

Pretending to feel slightly better about myself, I stepped into the shower, letting the warm water wash over my body. I sighed, feeling the water start to relax my tense muscles, and began to shampoo my hair.

Fifteen minutes later I was sat upon my bed, wearing my favourite super tight, black ripped up skinnies and socks. I was staring blankly into my wardrobe; trying to decide what shirt I wanted to wear. To be honest, I didn't really have that hard of a choice to make, considering I really only had black shirts, but my brain wasn't working today and it was starting to frustrate me. Snarling at my indecisiveness I pushed myself off my bed, closed my eyes, and pulled out the first shirt my hand grabbed. Without looking in the mirror, I pulled it over my head and walked lazily into the bathroom to do my hair and makeup.  
After grabbing my makeup bag and turning on my straighter, I finally looked in the mirror. Huh. I was wearing my favourite ripped up KISS tank top. Fine by me. After all, it showed off my muscles.

I chuckled at that thought and put a thin layer of black eye shadow over my eyelids, finishing off with a thick layer of liquid eyeliner on both my upper and lower lids. I used to use just regular pencil eyeliner, but I quickly realised that the liquid liner doesn't run as easily during football AND it was a lot darker.

By the time I had perfectly straightened my hair and double checked myself in the mirror, it was already 8:30. I only had 30 minutes to walk to school, which in reality didn't matter too much because school was only about 15 minutes away, but I'm a lazy person and I like taking my time. I slung my backpack over my shoulder, and walked downstairs to the kitchen. I grabbed an apple from the basket sitting on the counter and made my way to the front door to pulled on my black cowboy boots.

"Someone is in a hurry." I heard someone chuckle from the kitchen. I looked up, apple still stuck firmly in my mouth, and saw my dad leaning against the wall with an amused expression on his face. I smiled sheeplishly and took a bite of the apple, feeling the juices run down my chin.

"Morning dad."

"Running late?" He asked with a smirk.

"Nope," I replied cheerfully. "Not in reality anyway! Love you!" I called, walking out the front door.

I arrived at school five minutes before the bell signaling class rang out. I lazily walked to class, purposefully making sure that I was at least two minutes late for maths.

"You're late again Purdy." Mr. Mclean sighed, pretending to be fed up. I shrugged as a response and grinned. He gave me a small wink.

"Sit down."

I did as I was told, still smiling like an idiot. The only reason I purposefully made myself late for this class and for this class only was because I was on such good terms with Mr. Mclean. It's become a kind of running joke between us, and as long as I'm not more than five minutes late, he'll keep seeing it that way.

The rest of my morning classes passed uneventfully. It was lunch that I was really looking forward to. I grabbed my lunch, sat down at my usual table and started shoving food hungerly into my mouth. As much as I loved my classes, I loved lunch more. What can I say, I was a typical teenage guy. Sleep, food and music was all I really truely cared about. Well, that and girls.

"Hey baby," a voice purred in my ear. I froze, fork half way to my mouth. I sighed inwardly, placed my fork down, and turned around.

"Hey Kina." I said, forcing a smile as she plopped herself down into my lap. Kina was my girlfriend, well, on-again off-again girlfriend. Honestly, I didn't really like her, but I only put up with her because the sex was good and she was always willing to put out. Hey, did I mention that I was your typical teenage guy?

"How are you?" She asked, sounding a bit bored. I knew she didn't care about my answer, but I gave her one anyway.

"Better now that you're here." I whispered. If I was nice and sucked up a bit, maybe I would get sex tonight.

"Aweh," she chuckled. Suddenly, I felt her fingers walking up my thigh and to my crotch. My eyes widened and I felt my self harden under her touch. Someone was horny.

She softly laughed again, her breath in my ear. "You wanna go somewhere a bit private baby?"

Fuck yes I did. But I made it a rule to never have sex in school. Ever. As badass as I was, I wasn't that much of a badass.

"N-no, Kina, we talked about this." I groaned and silently cursed myself.

She laughed. Again. "You say one thing, but your body says another."

"Kina, stop." I demanded, grabbing her hand and lightly shoving her off me.

"Fuck. Whatever Purdy." She turned on her heel and huffed off.

Whatever. She would pout for a little bit but then come crawling right back. This happened almost every week. I looked down, and sighed. Since my pants were so tight, the bulge was very noticable. I pulled myself up and walked quickly to the bathroom.

_A/N: Wooh! Chapter two. Finally. I'm a bit of a procrastinator haha. As always, comment! Give me your feedback, positive OR negative! I can only improve my writing if I have feedback! See you in chapter three! (I will try and get better at posting more often ahha.) Cheers! _


	3. Chapter 3

_Andy's Point of View_

I gulped. I didn't know how to approach this. Sarcasm? Fear? Pleading? Either way, I was going to get a beating. I decided to go with sarcasm.

"Hey beautiful, missed you too!" I replied calmly. Well, hoping it was calm. Inside, I was shaking with fear.

I turned around and noticed a flash of disgust in his eyes. He recovered quickly.

"Fucking fag." He whispered to his friends. They chuckled. He turned back to me and I tried my hardest to wipe my face clean of any and all facial expression.

He opened his mouth to reply, but I interrupted him before he could finish.

"I was maybe thinking we should hang out after school. You know, like we always do." I smirked, winking. I know I had gone too far from the look on his face, but you know what? Fuck it. I was going to get a beating one way or another, might as well have a little fun. Watching his face go from cruel to shocked and horrified was very, very fun. Listening to him fumble over his words was the cherry on top.

"Yo-w-what? Y-you, I... We-we've... YOU FUCKING BASTARD." He screamed, spit flying from his lips. He grabbed my shirt and pulled me close to him, breathing heavily. The rational part of my brain told me to shut up, that'd I'd only make things worse, but I ignored it. I smiled lightly.

"Aweh," I mockingly whispered. "Want a kiss?"

That's when I felt his fist connect with my jaw. "Fucking hell," I murmured. I clenched my eyes shut, preparing for the next hit when I heard the sound of boots against the school floor and the sound of metal chains. I opened my eyes hopefully, thinking that someone was coming to my rescue. There were only a certain number of kids who wear cowboy boots and chains; my friends and -

"Don't get your hopes up, freak." Justin chuckled. "Hey Purdy! Get your ass over here. Look who decided to join us for lunch today!"

Fucking hell.

_Ashley's Point of View_

After I finished up in the bathroom, I pulled up my pants, buckled the belt, and zipped up the zipper. I felt incredibly better, it was just the type of release I needed. I unlocked the stall and went to the mirror to fix my hair and wash my hands.

After fixing my hair and reapplying some eyeliner, I pushed open the bathroom door and began to walk to my locker. I walked slowly, thoroughly enjoying the sound of my boots against the school floor. I actually really liked the clinking sound they made with every step, as gay as that made me sound.

I turned a corner and noticed Justin and my other friends huddled around a locker.

"Oh great." I thought to myself. I saw Justin look over in my direction and turn back to the tall boy who's shirt he had held in a death lock, a smirk playing on the football captian's face. He said something quietly to the boy, making the boy look down in response. "Hey Purdy! Get your ass over here. Look who decided to join us for lunch today!" Justin called over his shoulder.

I sighed and walked up to them. I turned to Justin, smiled, then looked at the boy leaning against the locker, taking in his appearance. He was tall, really tall, and had thick black hair that fell down to his shoulders. It was straightened and teased lightly at the top. I immediately recognised him; it was that boy that sat at the back of my English class. Andy, I think his name was.

"-Ould we do to him?" Justin asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I replied, never taking my eyes off of Andy, who was still staring intently down at his boots.

"What should we do to him?" Justin asked again, a slight smile playing at the corner of his lips.

"Nothing," I replied, yawning slightly, ignoring the surprised looks I was getting. Andy looked up in shock, his shockingly blue eyes boring into mine as I looked back at him. I never noticed how blue they were, he was always looking down.

"What?" Asked Justin, quickly recovering.

"Guys, it's so lame picking on the exact same person all the fucking time. There are plenty of more losers roaming around this school that deserve a beating and you always choose this kid?" I replied, looking at Justin with another yawn, as if to prove a point.

"But," Justin started, but I cut in.

"Look, do what you want, but honestly I want no part in this. I'm bored as hell already and I've only been here two minutes." I started to walk away, seriously confused by my actions.

Why the fuck was I defending Andy? I don't know him, and what happens to him doesn't affect me at all. So why did it bother me so much thinking about seeing him with bruises all over his pale, smooth face? What was happening to me?

_Andy's Point Of View_

What. The. Fuck.

No, seriously, what? WHAT? My brain couldn't process this. Ashley Purdy, THE Ashley Purdy, just defended me. Well, kind of. Not really _defended_ in a sense, but still. What.

Justin was still recovering from shock as well. His hold on my shirt loosened slightly and I pulled myself out of his grip.

"Well guys. That was fun, but the bell is about to ring, so I gotta go!" I said cheerfully. What the fuck was I doing?

"Oh no." Justin said, grabbing my shirt once again. Fuck man, this was really going to ruin this shirt.

"Don't think you can get out of this that easily." He continued before punching me once in the face and once in the stomach, hard enough to make me double over. Once I was on the floor, he kicked me hard once and ran to catch up with Ashley, his friends following, each kicking me once. Mutters of "fag", "loser" and "emo" filled my ears as they walked past in disgust.

"Ouch." I muttered, still slouched against my locker. Yes, I did deserve it _this_ time I guess, but I knew it was coming whether or not I was asking for it by being a sarcastic ass. I got to my feet painfully, still holding my stomach and ribs. I knew they were going to be bruised, and I knew my nose was slowly dripping blood, and I knew that it hurt like hell, but I couldn't really _feel_ it. I was still numb from what Ashley did. Ashley Purdy, the biggest man whore in the whole entire school, basically defended me. Basically told his loser friends in a round-about way that it was pathetic to pick on people.

Maybe Ashley Purdy wasn't one of the jocks after all. Maybe deep down, extremely deep down, he was one of us. One of the Outcasts.

_**A/N**_

_Hey guys! Chapter three finally! Haha. Actually, I don't think it's been that long. Whatever._

_As always: Comment! I can't become a better writer if I don't get comments, negative OR positive comments will help me a lot! Hope you enjoyed! Chapter four should be our relatively soon! Cheers! _


	4. Chapter 4

_Andy's Point of View_

The bell signaling the end of class rang throughout the halls, but yet I didn't move. I was still sat on the cold school floors, clutching my stomach in pain as kids began to make their way to their classes. Soon, I was the last one left, but still I didn't move. Still leaning in an awkward sitting position against my locker, I put my hand to my face. My fingers came away red. I guess I was too busy focusing on the pain in my stomach and chest to remember that my face also got hit and my nose had been steadily dripping blood this entire time. I looked down down and groaned in annoyance. Both my jeans and my favourite shirt was covered in my dark red blood. Well fuck.

I sighed yet again and painfully pulled myself up from sitting position, moaning softly as my injuries screamed against the movement. Once I was fully standing, I leaned against my locker yet again to catch my breath quickly and to blink away the tears that had formed in my eyes from the moving. Finally, I slowly made my way to the bathroom to clean myself up.

By the time I had stopped my nose from bleeding, cleaned up the worst of the blood, and fixed my hair and makeup, I was already twenty minutes late for my English class. I sighed, standing awkwardly in front of the classroom door. Now normally, I would say fuck it and skip class to go for a smoke to save myself from the awkwardness and the embarrassment of walking into class late. As much as I normally hated skipping class, I've always tried my hardest to stay invisible to the best of my ability. However, I knew that because I already missed a week of classes, I couldn't afford to miss anymore. So, after a moment of thinking, making up my mind, and gathering my courage, I heaved a heavy sigh and opened the wooden door. Just as I expected, the room fell quiet upon my entering the room.

"Ah. Andrew, how nice of you to join us." My English teacher, Ms Chip, said without looking up from her notes that were scattered across her desk. She then went on about the importance of being on time for class as to not interrupt the rest of my classmates, and the importance of punctuality as I made my way to my desk at the back of the classroom. I knew my face was a lovely shade of red as I sat down, avoiding eye contact with every and all people in my class. Finally, Ms Chip turned her attention away from me and fell silent for a second as she quickly eyed her notes. Then she cleared her throat and continued writing the lesson on the white board. I opened my backpack, pulled out some paper and a pen, and turned my attention to a bird perched on a tree branch outside the window.

_Ashley's Point of View_

After telling off Justin and the rest of my friends I turned away and began making my way to my locker. I heard Andy make a sarcastic remark and was rewarded by a punch from, I'm persuming, Justin.

God, that kid was such a little ass. I wanted to believe that he got everything that he deserved, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I knew he was only like that because he knew that he was going to get it whether or not he was asking for it. I stopped myself at that thought, why the fuck was I defending Andy being such an ass? Better question, why the fuck was I thinking of Andy at all?

Before I could answer myself, I heard someone running to catch up with me.

"What the fuck was that?" Justin asked.

I knew what he was talking about, but I decided to play dumb.

"The fuck was what?" I responded, never breaking stride or turning to look at him. My eyes stayed focused on the hall in front of me.

"You know what Ashley. Defending faggot boy back there."

I sighed inwardly and stopped at my locker to get my stuff.

"I wasn't defending him. I could honestly care less about him, but you guys are always picking on him, specifically. You never really pick on anyone else, not even the other Outcasts, except for the rare insult."

He was silent for a moment while considering this. "Yeah, I guess that's true. But what you said about it being boring, it honestly isn't." He chuckled lightly. "If he was just silent and took it, then yeah, it'd get boring. But he fights back, and he's a little bit of an ass to be honest."

I couldn't disagree there.

"But that's not the real reason you don't like us picking on tall, dark and ugly. Is it Ash?" He asked suddenly, almost causing me to drop my textbook in shock. I didn't reply.

"I mean, you never help us. You never join in. And you almost always have a guilty look on your face when you see us giving the little Emo what he deserves." He said quietly. You know, as mean and cold hearted as Justin can be to others, he really was a decent caring guy to the people he likes.

I still didn't reply. The bell suddenly rang, breaking the silence between us. Justin began to walk away, but before leaving, he whispered something in my ear that made my blood run cold.

"You're cool Ashley, and you're my best friend. Even though you look like them, you're not like them. Just make sure you don't turn into an emo faggot like them, or I'll have no problem making you my next target."

Then he was gone, disappearing into the sea of kids. So much for being a decent guy.

With his threat still ringing in my ears, I made my way to English. None of my friends were in this class because it was an AP English class, where all the smart kids were placed. I'm not saying my friends were dumb but... Okay, maybe I was saying they were dumb.

I smiled at Ms Chip upon entering the class and walked to the back of the classroom. Normally I sat near the front, but today something just told me to sit at the back.

Twenty minutes later, I instantly regretted my decision to sit at the back.

I heard the door open slowly and looked up from my notes to see none other than Andy Biersack standing in the doorway, looking both very embarrassed and ashamed to be late. I looked quickly back down at my notes and started doodling, listening to Ms Chip rant on and on about the importance of being on time. I just wish she'd shut up. She was making a bigger deal than it actually was and she never said anything about anyone being late for class before. It was just Andy. See, Andy was so unpopular that even the teachers picked on him.

I was still doodling stars at the top of my notes when I heard Andy plunk himself in the desk right next to mine. Fuck. I totally forgot that this is where Andy normally sat. I peeked at him from underneath my fringe. It doesn't seem like he's noticed me, as he was staring intently at the floor, and then his beaten up backpack as he pulled out paper and a pen.

As he turned his attention to something out the window, I couldn't help but keep staring at him. His plaid, long sleeve shirt, as well as his tight skinny jeans, was covered with a little bit of dried blood that looked as if he tried scrubbing it off with a wet paper towel. I instantly felt sorry for him, and a little bit guilty that I hadn't done more to protect him. Despite my previous thoughts earlier, I knew that he didn't deserve any of this. He was too fragile. Too beautiful.

Wait. What? Did I just say that he was beautiful? But as I continued to observe him I knew it was true. His long, black hair fell perfectly down to his shoulders, and in the sun, it almost looked like it had a blue tint to it. His skinny jeans hugged his body perfectly, and he had the long, perfectly thin legs that any girl would kill for. And I knew, if he turned around and looked at me, I would get lost in his beautiful blue eyes.

Andy turned towards the front, finally beginning to take notes, and began playing with the lip piercing at the corner of his lip. The action alone made me melt, and turned me on a bit at the same time.

Yes, as I continued to watch Andy, I suddenly knew why I subconsciously decided to sit at the back. I knew why I felt guilty thinking about him and the other Outcasts. And I knew why I defended him at lunch.

I, Ashley fucking Purdy, had a crush on the most unpopular kid in all of school, Andy fucking Biersack.

A/N: Wooh! Chapter four! I've gotten pretty good with updating. A little too good... /shifty eyes. Yeah. Hopefully I can keep this up haha.

****Anyways! Like always, comment! Give me your feedback! I cannot get any better at writing if I don't get comments. Negative or positive comments are welcome. :) See you next chapter! Cheers! 3


	5. Chapter 5

_Andy's point of view_

I was sat on the hard plastic chair for a good five or so minutes, still staring at the same bird. It wasn't very interesting, but I figured it would be more interesting than whatever Ms Chip was rattling on about. I sighed and finally pulled my focus to the front. She was going on and on about the proper way to write an essay. Currently, she was telling us how to structure our sentences to grab the reader's attention or some shit like that. I was right; the bird was more interesting. If I could, I would just put my head on the desk and have a nice nap, but I knew I couldn't. I needed English to graduate. I pulled my paper towards me and started to write notes, playing with my lip ring in the process.

As I was writing Ms Chip's example down, I suddenly became really uncomfortable. You know that feeling you get when someone is watching you? That's exactly the feeling I had right now. I shifted awkwardly in my chair and flipped my head down so that my fringe was covering my face. While in that position, I began to look for the culprit. Everyone that was sat in front of me had his or her focus at the front, and there was no one behind me. I carefully looked beside me, making sure that my fringe was still covering most of my face. Ashley Purdy was sitting beside me, his head resting on his hand, body turned almost fully towards me. And he was staring, actually staring, intensely at me. What the fuck?

Realising he had been caught, he blushed and swiftly turned his body around so that he was facing towards the white board, blushing profusely. Again, what the fuck? Trying to rationalise it in my head, I told myself he was just checking out the bruises that were surely starting to form on my face. He'd probably have a good laugh about it with Justin later. I decided that that was the reason behind his awkward stares and focused my attention back to Ms Chip, however a part of my brain didn't believe it and kept nagging me that there was something more going on. I ignored it and continued writing my notes.

A neatly folded piece of paper landed in front of me not even one minute later. I looked quickly at Ms Chip. She was still busy teacher, getting really excited about the topic she was on, so I opened the note.

_Hey sorry. I wasn't looking at you. There was something out the window that had my attention for a bit. I guess I was daydreaming. Awkward. __  
__- Ash_

'Yeah, sure,' I thought. I rolled my eyes and quickly wrote my reply.

_Uh,yeah. It's okay..__  
__Andy_

I checked up at the front again and threw it at Ashley before Ms Chip turned around.

Eventually, I got bored at taking notes and turned my attention to the clock above the door.

Five more minutes left of class.  
Ms Chip started comparing sentences to strippers. "Save the best for last!" She exclaimed.

Four more minutes.  
Still on about stripper sentences.

Three more minutes.  
She got distracted and started talking about her dog.

Two more minutes...

And Ashley threw another note at me.

_Yeah__haha__. Like I said, awkward. So what's with the stripper-sentence relation, huh? I think our teacher is mental. Someone forgot to take her pills this morning._

I chuckled slightly at that. But I noticed something odd at the bottom of the note.

_Hey I have an awkward question for you, but since we're already in an awkward situation, I will just come right out and ask it. Did you wanna maybe hang out after school today? Or the weekend sometime? Text me! __  
__- Ash_

At the bottom, next to his name, he wrote his number. I looked over at him, a huge question mark expression clearly displayed on my face. He was refusing to look over in my direction, a blush creeping up to his cheeks.

This was really turning into a "what the fuck" kind of day.

I was packed and ready to go with one minute left of class. I never did reply to Ashley's note, I just quickly shoved it in my pocket without looking at him any further. As soon as the bell rang, I rushed out the door.

I sighed, confused and, I'll admit it, somewhat frightened by the way Ashley was acting. First he defended me against his _best friends, _ then I caught him staring at me in class (he can deny all he wants, I know he was staring at me), and then he asked me to hang out. What was his deal? I shook my head, way too tired to figure any of this shit out.

I happily walked into my next class, chemistry. I didn't particularly like the class, but CC was in it with me, so that's the only reason I was excited. If anyone could help me solve the Ashley situation, it was CC.

Like always, CC was in class before me, slumped in a chair at the back of the classroom. And, as always, he sat up when he saw me, excitedly waving me over to the vacant chair next to his own. I smiled slightly and started to walk over to him just as the bell went and Mr Norman walked in.

"Sit down, sit down!" He said, ushering us to our seats with a wave of his hands as he closed the door behind him. Once he put his bag on his desk, he turned at smiled at us. He noticed me at the back, and gave me a slightly bigger smile and a small wink before introducing us to the new chapter we'd be starting today. I liked Mr Norman; he was the only teacher who wasn't cold or just straight out rude to me. He actually seemed to like me even though I didn't do too well in his class.

Once Mr Norman had turned his attention to the black board, I quickly wrote CC a note.

_You'll never believed what happened in English…_

I wrote before passing it to CC. It didn't even take him a minute to respond and the note was thrown back in front of me.

_Dinosaurs broke into your class and ate your crazy teacher?_

I chuckled. Leave it to CC to come up with something totally random and irrelevant.

_No you idiot. I caught Ashley staring at me. When he noticed he was caught he turned away quickly and started blushing. _

I passed it back to him and looked quickly in his direction, smirking slightly as I watched his eyes grow large.

_What? Like, Ashley PURDY?_

After reading his reply, I looked over at him. He was looking back at me with a big 'what the fuck' look on his face. I nodded and wrote:

_I know. And that's not even the weirdest part. Tell you after lesson._

I threw the note back at him just as Mr Norman turned around to address the class. Thankfully, he didn't see the note. Or, at least, he didn't act like he did. For the next fifteen minutes, I took notes and kept glancing at the clock. I just wanted Mr Norman to finish with the lesson and give us our assignment so I could fill CC in.

Finally_, _the lesson finished. As the rest of the students were pulling out their textbooks, I turned to CC.

"That's not even the weirdest part?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No, he asked me to hang out sometime and gave me his cell number."

"I don't believe you!" CC exclaimed, a little too loudly for the girl sitting in front of him apparently as she turned around and gave him a dirty look.

I laughed as he gave her his award-winning smile and turned back to me. "No, but seriously Andy. I don't believe you. It's Ashley fucking Purdy we're talking about."

I nodded and pulled out the note I shoved in my pocket. "I know! Which is why it's so weird."

I watched as CC's eyes widened yet again as he skimmed quickly through the note.

"What the hell dude." He said, passing the note back to me, which I just shoved back into my pocket.

"I know." Jesus I was saying that a lot. "I don't know what his problem is."

I then explained to him how he defended me at lunch.

"I figured you had a run in with Justin when we didn't see you at lunch. Plus your clothes are full of blood and you have a pretty good bruise forming under your eye." He said when I was finished.

I just nodded. I didn't know what to say.

"I don't know what to tell you Andy," He said thoughtfully after a moment of silence. "If it wasn't Purdy we were talking about, I'd say it sounds like he likes you."


	6. Chapter 6

_Ashley's point of view_

I watched Andy hastily run out of English as soon as the bell went. I sighed deeply, slowly packing up my stuff.

'What are you doing Ashley?' I muttered quietly to myself. I didn't have an answer though. All I could think about was Andy. I was shocked at myself for having a crush on Andy. Not because Andy was a guy, I didn't care about that because I've always knew that I was bisexual. No one else knew it, but I knew it. No, it was more the fact that that guy just happened to be Andy Biersack, the most unpopular, hated guy in my high school. A part of me didn't care though, and that part of me knew that my new found crush on Andy felt... _right_. I just prayed that he would text me.

I had almost given up all hope, but eventually, he did.  
I was sitting in biology, happily daydreaming, when I felt my pocket vibrate. Making sure the teacher wasn't paying attention to me, I pulled out my phone. I nearly dropped it in shock when I saw the message and who it was from.

_What do you want?_  
_Andy_

I couldn't understand the question right away; my stomach was too full of butterflies. My mind only screaming, 'He texted you! He texted you!'  
I let my mind focus on the happiness and the giddiness I felt at that moment, but I pulled myself back to reality with a quick shake of my head. I added his number into my phone and then concentrated on the text. I'll admit that question stumped me. What did I want? I knew the answer was him, but I couldn't possibly tell him that, could I? No, I couldn't.

_I told you! I want to hang out. :P_  
_- Ash_

I sent the reply quickly, my fingers gracefully dancing across the keyboard, proof that I knew my iPhone well. I then tried to focus my attention back onto the lesson, but my phone was still clutched in my sweaty palms, excitedly waiting his next text. My phone vibrated two minutes later. I quickly unlocked the phone, typed in the password, and read the message. As I read, I felt my heart sinking, it wasn't from Andy. It was from Justin.

_Yo. Dnt 4get about the party tonight. U better b there _

__I sighed. I had totally forgotten about the party the football team was throwing tonight to celebrate making it into the finals, I was too busy obsessing over my new found crush. You're probably wondering why there would be a party on a Monday night. The answer? My friends are just like that. They don't give a shit about school, so therefore they didn't care about whether or not it was a school night. They never did. All they cared about was getting drunk, having a good time, maybe getting into a fight, and getting laid.

My fingers danced awkwardly across the keyboard, this time because I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't tell him yes; what if Andy agreed to meet up tonight? However, I couldn't tell him no either. You never said no to a party invite from Justin if you were a somebody. I especially couldn't because I was actually on the team. I sighed again and decided not to respond. Just then, I received another text. My heart jumped into my throat as I read his name. Andy.

_Why though? You have never talked to me before. Why now?_

__Another question I didn't know how to answer. It's true, I've never said a single word to Andy before. I've even went as far as pretending he didn't exist. I was happily content in my own little world of popularity and acceptance that I didn't want him tainting it. I like being popular, and I like my reputation. I've always been afraid that any association with the Outcasts would ruin that for me. So why now did I find myself not caring?

_Honestly, I don't know. I guess I'm just tired of pretending to be someone I'm not, tired of always watching what I say and how I act. Say one wrong thing, make one wrong move, and my 'friends' would turn on me, no questions asked. I know I could be myself around you and around your friends. I want to get to know you guys. _

__Wow, that was a pretty deep text. I didn't even know I was feeling like that about my reputation and popularity until I typed it out. I read the reply back before sending it and suddenly knew that it was true. That was the blunt, honest answer to Andy's question of, 'why now?' I was tired of being someone I wasn't. I wasn't a Popular. I was an Outcast. That knew knowledge didn't upset me either, it calmed me. I felt relieved, like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I was an Outcast. I always was and always will be. I was sick and tired of playing pretend and was ready to start living my new life as _myself. _Not Ashley Purdy, the feared man whore and Popular, but Ashley Purdy, the happy, bisexual Outcast. I was ready, and I wanted Andy to be by my side the whole time.

I wanted Andy to be mine.

_**Andy's Point of View**_

_****_I guess you could say I was taken aback by Ashley's reply. He was tired of being someone he wasn't? That didn't make sense. He acted like he loved his reputation. I guess my shock showed on my face because CC reached over and snatched my phone out of my hands before I could reply.

"What the fuck?" CC said once he had finished reading, handing me back my phone.

"I know. I have no idea what he's up to." I replied.

CC was silent for a moment, leaving me with my thoughts. What if he wasn't actually up to anything? What if he was honestly tired of 'being someone who he isn't', as he put it.

"What if," CC said, breaking me out of my thoughts. "He's actually being straight up honest with you. You did say yourself that after he defended you, you seriously questioned if he was actually a Popular at heart. What if he really is one of us and he's just starting to realise this?"

Wow. Could this dude read my thoughts or what? It was my turn to be silent while I thought this out.

"Are you saying I should give him a chance?" I finally questioned, turning to look fully at my black haired friend.

He looked back at me and slowly shook his head. "I'm saying _we_ should give him a chance. If he truly is sick of being a Popular, he's going to have it worse than any of us, maybe even you. He needs friends to turn to. He needs us."

I sighed. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew CC was right. He was smart, brilliant even, and _sometimes_ acted more mature than people twice his age. This was one of those times.

"Text him asking if he wants to come to the movie with us tonight." CC said.

I didn't want to. I really didn't want to, yet I didn't know why. I didn't really have a reason to hate Ashley. I mean, he has never joined in on any of the name calling or beatings, never threw food at us, never tried to trip us in the halls... The worse thing he has ever done is ignore us and do nothing about it. Which, I guess, is a form of bullying in itself, but CC was right. Ashley was truly one of us in his heart, whether he wanted to admit it or not, and if he was finally figuring that shit out, he needed us now more than ever. Justin wouldn't take the news of his best friend becoming a 'fag' lightly.

"You're right." I muttered, before sending Ashley my response.

_Fine. I still don't know if I trust you, but CC said I should give you a chance. Would you like to come to the movies with us tonight? _

I sent it off and not even five seconds later my phone buzzed in response.

_Thankyouthankyouthankyou! You can trust me Andy. I'm not like Justin, I swear. I would never do anything to hurt your friends or you. Especially not you... Uh, what time and where?__  
__:)_

I quickly skimmed through the text.

"What the fuck?" I muttered to myself before going back and reading it again more slowly.

"What?" CC asked.

"He's like, freaking out hardcore that we invited him," I said, passing CC the phone.

He read it, and chuckled. "Dude, I seriously think Purdy boy has a crush on you. I'm not even kidding." He said grinning.

"What?" I nearly shouted, earning a deathglare from the girl in front of CC. I ignored her. "No way."

CC nodded his head. "'Especially not you?'" He said, quoting Ashley. "Come on Andy. He totally has a thing for you."

I shook my head, still in denial. For one, this was Ashley Purdy we were talking about. Biggest man whore in the history of man whores. He liked chicks, not dicks. He's made that very very clear by having sex with nearly everything that walked, talked, and had a vagina. For another, who the fuck would like me? I'm... Well... Me. There was no other way to put this.

No. Ashley Purdy couldn't possibly like me. No way. Pigs would fucking fly before then.

I shook my head again at CC, who was still chuckling quietly to himself and sent Ashley the time and place where we would be meeting before the bell went.

"Shut the fuck up," I smiled slightly at CC, while packing up my stuff. He just shook his head and let out another chuckle.

"See you after school, lover boy." He called after me as I walked out of the class. I just shook my head and slightly smiled. Gotta love friends.

__A/N: And that's chapter six! I'm really sorry if the story is coming along more slowly than other fanfictions would make it. It's just my writing style haha. I like describing things instead of skipping all over the place trying to make it interesting by adding drama. I like to keep things realistic. :)**  
**But even if it is slightly boring... Thank you for those of you who have been supporting me through the way! Your comments and messages always manage to make me smile! It means a lot that you guys like this. 3**  
**Please leave me a comment or send me a message letting me know what you guys think; a writer can only get better with criticism, positive or negative. :) If I'm not doing a good job; tell me! If I am doing a good job; tell me!**  
**I'm going to end this before it gets unnecessarily long... Thanks again for reading! I love you all. See you next chapter! Cheers! xoxox. **  
**As always, thank you so much to my bestie and beta reader itdoesgetbetteripromise for all her support and kind words. ily3


	7. Chapter 7

_**Andy's point of view**_

To say the guys and Sandra didn't like the fact that Ashley would be coming with us to the movies is an understatement. They were beyond pissed. I swear that Jinxx was about to punch me in the face for inviting him before CC stepped in and explained the situation. After telling them about how Ashley defended me at lunch, showing them the text messages, and, to my annoyance, how it seems like he has a massive crush on me, they calmed down. Well, everyone but Sandra, but she was just overprotective and worried, as was I, that Ashley was up to something with Justin.

"That's all fine or whatever," She said after CC had stopped talking, "But what if Ashley and Justin are planning something? What if Justin is having Ashley use his "Outcast" appearance to get close to us to try and hurt Andy?"

"I don't think so Sandra," CC replied calmly. "It honestly looks like Ashley may have somewhat of a crush on A-"

"That could be part of the plan! Everyone knows that Andy is bisexual... So maybe they're using that to their advantage!"

I sighed, listening to Sandra and CC fight. It had gotten warmer over the course of the day, and as I was driving my friends and I back to my house to hang out before going to the theatre, I wished that I could roll up my sleeves on my shirt. But I knew I couldn't, not with all the scars and fresh cuts littering my wrists and arms...

"Dude, where the fuck are you going?" Jake laughed, giving me a bit of a shove to break me from my thoughts. I looked up at my friends, a little bit confused and realised I was so deep in my own little world that I almost drove past my own house.

"Oh," I said with a laugh as I backed up a little bit before pulling into the driveway. "Sorry guys, I was lost in my thoughts."

I killed the engine, grabbed my backpack from the backseat, and started towards the front door. "Ooooooh, were you thinking about Ashleeey?" CC sang as Jake made kissing sounds in the background.

"No!" I said loudly, feeling the heat rise up in my face. Fucking hell.

"Then why are you blushing?" Jake said innocently as CC snickered.

I shrugged in response as I unlocked the door and walked in.

_Why did I blush?_ I asked myself as I sat on the boot box to pull off my boots. I wasn't thinking about Ashley, but hearing his name mentioned in that fashion made me feel, odd and slightly embarrassed. I had never experienced that feeling before except for when I started crushing on Scout...

Oh God. Oh fuck. Oh please no.

"Uh, I'll be right back. I gotta use the bathroom." I shouted to my friends as I made my way upstairs to my bathroom, not paying any attention to their looks of confusion.

"No, no, nononono." I moaned to myself after I plopped myself down on the toilet seat, head in my hands. My brain kept saying that over and over again, while my heart said otherwise.

"Yes... Yes..." It seemed to whisper. A tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek. No, please God don't let me like Ashley fucking Purdy.

It was no hope.

I couldn't stop thinking about his raven black hair that fell to his shoulders.

_Stop it Andy._

His tight black skinny jeans that hugged his legs perfectly.

_Andy. Stop. _

His smile.

_Andy._

His laugh.

_Stop._

His beautiful brown eyes that reminded me of melted pools of warm chocolate...

_Andrew._

I let out a strangled sob. I liked him. I liked Ashley. But was it because I was truly attracted to him or because there was a chance he liked me and I was just desperate for love after Scout left me broken...?

At the thought of Scout my tears came quickly and violently, falling off my cheeks and landing on the floor. An old, unhealed wound opened up in my chest. My skin suddenly started to itch. An old, far too familiar itch.

_No._

When my mind finally caught up with my body, I found myself tearing open the top drawer of my bathroom that held my straightener, makeup, and something more precious and much more deadly...

I stopped my frantic search when my hand closed over a small, black box. I slowly pulled it out and looked at it. On the top, scribbled on a piece of tape in my writing, said the words:

_Think before you act. You have a choice; knives or pens._

__I slid down to the floor. I tried to think rationally, I really did, but my mind had different ideas. It kept going back to Scout. A fresh wave of pain hit me and new tears followed the path the old ones had left. I pulled the top of the small box off, and inside lay a small, sharp, silver object.

"Hello old friend." I whispered before taking it to my wrist.

_**Ashley's point of view**_

_****_The idiotic grin was still planted firmly in place as I made my way home. Just a few more hours until I was able to hang out with the Outcasts.

_No, not the Outcasts. Your new friends. _I corrected myself, and my smile only grew larger. I excitedly unlocked the front door and rushed up to my room after saying a quick hello to my mum. I ran up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time and not even bothering to remove my boots. I removed my backpack from my right shoulder and flung it onto my bed. I took a quick look in the mirror and took in my appearance. I knew I looked fine, but I stripped down anyway and started the shower.

I wanted to look perfect for Andy.

_**Andy's point of view**_

The pain in my heart wouldn't stop and the tears were still flowing freely down my face, making no indication that they were going to be stopping anytime soon. So, naturally, the razor didn't stop slicing open my skin, and the blood didn't stop either.

There were already five shallow cuts on my arm, but still I didn't stop. And I kept getting deeper with each and every cut. I didn't want to die, I just wanted the pain to stop. I lifted the razor and prepared myself for the pain. I brought the sharp object to my arm again and slowly, very slowly, dragged it across my arm. It was deep, and the blood instantly started flowing before I was even finished making the cut, but still the pain didn't stop.

So neither did I.

Ten minutes and fifteen deep cuts later, I finally started to feel numb. I sighed in relief and dropped the razor to the floor with a shaky hand. There I sat, my arm limp at my side, letting the blood flow freely, making a small puddle beside me.

I knew I should feel regret, or even guilty, but I just felt empty, numb. And tired. Very tired. I sighed, still high off of the Ecstasy that cutting brought, when there was a sharp knock at the door.

"Andy?" Jinxx's muffled voice came from the otherside.

_Shit._

"Don't come in!" I called, standing up to grab toilet paper to press against my wounds, but the door opened anyway.

I saw Jinxx look at me and his eyes widened. I watched him take in the pool of blood staining the white tiled floor, the blood soaked toilet paper I was pressing to my arms, and he looked me sadly in the eyes.

He closed the door silently and turned to me, grabbing a new wad of toilet paper.

"Not you too Andy..." He whispered sadly as he grabbed my arm and pressed the fresh toilet paper to my arms.

"Jinxx... I'm so sorry." I whispered, my voice cracking from the tears dripping down my nose as I hung my head in shame. Something dawned on me and I quickly looked at him.

_Not you too Andy..._

"What did you mean, 'not me too'?" I asked him.

He sighed and didn't respond. Instead, he sat me down on the toilet and continued to clean my wounds.

"Jinxx?"

He looked at me, his blueish-gray eyes swimming with tears. Silently, he removed the already soaked tissues from my arm. He looked down and to my surprise, he rolled up his own long sleeved shirt. I gasped.

His own arms were covered old scars.

"Oh Jinxx," I whispered sadly as he pulled his sleeve back down and continued to clean my arm.

"Don't Andy, I'm fine now. I got help and I'm okay now. I'm just worried about you." He said the last part so quietly I had to lean slightly forward to hear him.

"Why Andy?" He asked me.

I sighed. I really didn't want to tell him. It'd make me seem weak and pathetic.

_More weak and pathetic than you already are?_ Whispered a cruel voice in my head. It spoke the truth, and fresh tears made their way down my already tear-stained face.

"Andy?" Jinxx asked, using a thumb to gently wipe away the stupid tears.

"I-I..." I started. I looked at him, worry clouding his eyes and sighed. He was one of my closest friends next to CC. He deserved to know.

I started again after taking a long, deep breath. "I rushed into the bathroom because I didn't want you guys to see me cry. I-I, after Jake made the comment about me blushing when CC said Ashley's name, a horrible thought dawned on me."

I looked back up at Jinxx, who was patiently waiting for me to continue. I knew he was trying to make me feel as comfortable as possible while I was talking about this sensitive topic because he was silent, keeping his eyes down at my arms and he continued to lightly dab at my arms. For that, I was grateful. He knew that I have always been uncomfortable with people looking at me while I spoke.

I flinched at he started cleaning the deepest cut and continued. "I think I like Ashley. No, I know I like Ashley. A-and, that scared me. But then I started to question if it was because I actually like _him_, or if I just like him because he may like me and I'm craving the love of another person."

Jinxx nodded, understanding where I was going with this. He knew that that thought had led me to think of Scout. We sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, Jinxx continuing to clean my cuts, and me watching him do so.

Finally, he was done. He threw out the red toilet paper and looked at me.

"I think you like Ashley for him. I think you have for a long time." He said finally.

"W-what?" I stuttered.

He sighed. "I watched you Andy. Every lunch hour you would zone out of the conversation and when I looked at you, you would be starring at the table where Ashley sat, the happiest look on your face."

I sat with a big question mark displayed on my face. I never ever remembered watching Ashley at lunch. He knew why I looked so confused.

"Maybe," He said slowly. "You didn't realise you liked him because you were so blinded by your love for _her_." Her obviously being Scout. I thought for a moment, recalled all the times when I knew Ashley was near me and I instantly perked up and became more loud and tried my hardest to be funnier and more outgoing. Maybe I have liked him for a while without realising...

"I think, you may be right." I said finally.

Jinxx nodded, smiling slightly. "I know I'm right. You've liked Ashley for years, and here is your chance to finally have him."

I smiled widely.

"Andy," Jinxx said quietly, looking into my eyes.

"Hmm?"

"No more." He said sternly, pointing at my shredded wrists.

I looked down, and painfully pulled the sleeves down to cover my cuts.

"I'm fucking serious Andy. From one self-harmer to another, it's not worth it. Please, whenever you feel the need to cut, please talk to me." He smiled sadly at the end.

I looked into his eyes again. In them, I saw sadness, understanding, and comfort. The eyes of a true friend.

"I promise Jinxxy," I said quietly with a smile. He laughed sadly and hugged me. I grinned again as I thought of seeing Ashley at six thirty, and the possibility of hugging him. Maybe even finally getting to call him my own...

Suddenly, I panicked.

"What time is it?" I asked Jinxx quickly.

He broke away from the hug and pulled out his phone. "Almost five. Why?"

"Shit." I hissed. I ran to my room and grabbed a towel, Jinxx following closely behind. He watched me dash around my room, leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed across his chest, an amused expression on his face.

"What are you doing Andy?" He asked, chuckling slightly.

I stopped and my face broke into a grin.

"I want to look perfect for Ashley."

A/N: Aweeeeh. So cute. Chapter seven! Wooh. I know I've already updated tonight, but I felt like I needed to write this as well while the ideas were still fresh in my mind. I actually had such a hard time writing this chapter... Trying to find a way to write it so it sounded realistic and not too cliche. I hope I did okay!

Lemme know what you think. :) Comment or message me letting me know your opinions. I can only improve my writing if I get feedback, negative or positive. Chapter eight should be posted soon. Cheers! xoxo.


	8. Chapter 8

_Ashley's point of view_

If I thought I had a hard time picking out clothes this morning, that is nothing compared to the trouble I was having now. Like this morning, I was sat on my bed, stating blankly at my wardrobe, but unlike this morning I was only in socks and underwear. I didn't even know what pants I wanted to wear. I wanted to look perfect for Andy, that much I knew, but other than that...

I wanted to impress him, but I didn't want to look really overdressed so that _he knew_ I wanted to impress him. I sighed and ran a hand over my face, leaving it there for a moment as a picture of Andy smiling came into view.

_His smile is so beautiful, _I thought to myself, _It's a shame he doesn't smile more..._

But then I realised that he truly doesn't have many reasons to smile. He's an Outcast, but even though that wasn't a bad thing in and of itself, it just meant that he had barely any friends and the whole school hated him. The kid even got picked on more than any of the other Outcasts. Why? I couldn't tell you. He just did, and that made me sad.

But I know one thing is for sure. I'm going to give him a new reason to smile. I want to be a reason his beautiful face lights up. I just want to be his.

With this new thought in mind and the idiotic grin back in place, I stood up, stretched, and walked over to my wardrobe. A light soft knock sounded at my door.

"Yep." I called, still shifting through my clothes. My mum poked her head in the door.

"Hey hun, big date tonight?" She asked.

I giggled. Yes, giggled, like a love struck teen girl. "No," I replied, shaking my head. "Just meeting with friends tonight. We're going to a movie."

My mum's face fell into a disapproving frown. "Oh, please tell me not with those kids on the football team."

I shook my head again. "Nope, not Justin." I said, turning to her with a grin. "Some kids from my school. Andy and his friends."

Her face broke into a soft grin when she heard I wasn't hanging out with Justin. Yeah, you could say that she disliked Justin. Actually, hated would probably be the more appropriate term.

"Oh good. Andy... I've heard that name before."

"Yeah, he lives like, a block down from us. Andy Biersack." I replied, turning back to my wardrobe to continue my search for clothes. Yes, Andy and I lived about a block away from each other and we weren't friends. Our parents were though, but by the time Andy and I had met, I was already a Popular and he was already an Outcast. If it wasn't for those two important factors, we would have been friends long ago. Maybe even more...

"Oh! Andy, you mean Amy and Chris' son?" My mum asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I nodded.

"He seems like a nice kid." She said smiling, giving me a slight wink. Yes, my mum knew I was bisexual. She was one of the few people that knew that fact. I came out to her and my dad when I was in grade nine. I was completely terrified. I thought they were going to kick me out and never speak to me again, or at least tell me it was just a stupid phase I was going through, but they were really accepting. It actually made me cry.

I felt myself blush at her words. "He is." I replied quietly, almost like I was speaking to myself. "He really is."

My mum just gave me her knowing smile and walked over to me. "So, when are you meeting him?"

"In about... half an hour." I replied, looking at my alarm clock that was sat on my bedside table.

"And you're not ready yet?" My mum exclaimed, jokingly trying to look shocked, although I could see the hint of amusement behind her eyes.

I sighed and sat down on my bed again, frustrated. "No! I don't know what to wear!" I replied, then quietly said, "I really want to impress him mummy."

She nodded and walked over to my closet. Then she pulled out my plain black tank top and a hoodie. "Just wear this. You're just going to a movie hunny." She said, tossing the clothes over to me, kissing me on the head, and leaving me to get changed.

I smiled and tugged the shirt over my head before grabbing the jeans I wore today that were laying in a heap on the floor. After pulling those on too, I made my way to the bathroom to deal with my hair.

It took me a full five minutes to straighten and tease my hair perfectly, and another ten minutes to put on makeup. I even put on a light layer of foundation.

By the time I thought I looked decent enough, I only had fifteen minutes to get to the movie theatre. I sat on the edge of my bed, trying to put on my boots.

"Oh come on," I muttered. I got the right boot on okay, but I couldn't get the stupid left boot on...

Finally, with a hell of a fight, it slid on. I stood up quickly, nearly falling over in hunger because I hadn't eaten since lunch.

"Fuck," I whispered, grabbing the desk nearest to me for support. When the dizziness past, I rushed downstairs, grabbed my wallet off the kitchen counter, and started towards the front door.

"Bye Ashley, have a good time." My dad said from the living room. I couldn't see him, but I could hear it in his voice that he said it with a smirk.

"Bye dad! I'll text you when I know when I'll be home." I replied before walking out the door.

I shivered slightly against the wind as I began the walk to the movie theatre. I'm glad I had the sense to throw on my leather jacket before I left, otherwise I'd be frozen by the time I got to my destination. I pulled my iPod out of my pockets and started blasting some KISS, singing along quietly. I looked at the time, I only had about ten minutes to get there. I sighed and started walking faster, pulling out my phone to send Andy a quick text.

_Hey, I might be a couple minutes late. I had trouble finding clean socks... xD _

I sent off the text and instantly regretted it.

"Clean socks?" I muttered to myself. "Now he's going to think your a pig or something. Way to go Ashley."

But to my surprise, he thought my attempt at a joke was funny.

_Haha no worries! ;) We might be running late as well, so no damage done. I couldn't find clean underwear!_

I giggled, smiling like an idiot for like, the billionth time today. Hopefully, by the end of tonight, I would have a new group of friends. Hopefully, I would be able to leave my old life and start my new one, with Andy and the Outcasts.

_Andy's Point of View_

Why wasn't my fucking hair working with me. Didn't it know that it had to be perfect? I only had half an hour to get dressed, do my hair and makeup, and get there... _but my hair didn't seem to care._

_"_Mother fuck of all flying fucks." I muttered, extremely frustrated.

I heard someone chuckle from the bedroom, and suddenly Jake appeared in the doorway.

"Having trouble?" He asked.

"You have no fucking clue." I mumbled between clenched teeth, still trying, and failing, to make my hair work. Jake grabbed the straightener from me.

"Well," He said slowly, "It would help if you actually turned the thing on."

"Oh," I said, feeling my face heat up in embarrassment. He just chuckled in response.

"Go put clothes on while you're waiting for this to heat up," He said. I walked into my bedroom, just wearing a pair of socks and my batman boxers. I then made my way over to my wardrobe and stood there for about five seconds before declaring:

"Guys, I have no fucking clue what to wear."

The guys and Sandra looked up from their positions on my bed and floor. Everyone except for Sandra smiled at me. CC got up from his position, ruffled my hair, and began shifting through my closet.

"I just want to look perfect for Ashley tonight, you know?" I asked no one in particular.

Jinxx laughed. "Yeah, we know dude. You've only said it about five times in the past hour." Jinxx replied, not looking up from his game he was playing on his phone. Sandra just rolled her eyes.

"Hey Sandra," I began, looking over at her. "I want your opinion... What would you wear to impress someone?"

She just glared at me, got up from the floor, and walked out. What the fuck?

"What's her problem?" I asked.

Everyone just shrugged. "Ignore her," CC said, pulling out a shirt and then throwing it on the floor after deciding he didn't like it.

"Hey! Do you mind not destroying my room?" I asked, playfully punching him on the shoulder.

"Meh. Doesn't affect me," He replied, winking and sticking out his tongue.

"Dude, why don't you just wear what you were wearing this morning? That looked fine." Jake asked with a yawn.

"Because it has blood all over it from my nose bleed." I replied, then added to myself: _And because of earlier._

Jinxx and I made eye contact, him giving me a sad smile when he guessed what I was thinking.

"Oh," was all Jake said.

"Here, just put on this." CC said, pulling out a grey v-neck and a checkered scarf.

I looked over the outfit and smiled. Perfect.

I changed quickly and then rushed into the bathroom to finish working on my hair and makeup.

Five minutes later... _I was still struggling with my God damn fucking hair._

"For fuck sakes!" I all but screamed.

"Just put on a hat." Jinxx called.

"Yeah," Jake agreed, laughing. "Just hurry up."

I sighed and walked back over to my closet to pull out my black, knitted beanie my grandma had knitted for my birthday.

Having done my makeup a couple minutes ago, I was finally done. I turned around dramatically and struck a ridiculous pose.

"How do I look?" I asked in the deepest, sexiest voice I could pull.

"Fine." CC said with a chuckle, not even looking at me. "Now lets go lover boy."

A/N: Wow. That took a while to write. So. Much. Drama. Happened so I'm sorry that it took so long and it kinda sucks.

But! I hope you enjoyed it anyway, comment your opinions. :) All positive and negative feedback really helps… I can't become a better writer if I don't get feedback! Chapter nine should come out soon. :) So I'll see you guys next chapter! Cheers! xoxo


	9. Chapter 9

_Ashley's Point of View_

It was awkward as fuck to say the least. Around 6:45pm, we finally met up outside the theatre. A tallish guy with long black hair, CC I think he said his name was, smiled when he saw me and said hi. I gave him a shy smile back and whispered a hey. He just laughed, throwing Andy a knowing look.

_What was that about?_ I wondered to myself, but to be honest I couldn't focus on my own question. All I could think about was the fact that Andy was no more than three feet away from me. I was normally confident and somewhat outgoing, but around Andy, I couldn't even breath properly. I felt butterflies bouncing around in my stomach, making breathing even more difficult, and I felt the idiotic grin starting to make an appearance yet again.  
Instead of worrying about the fact that Andy just kept staring at the ground and wouldn't look at me, I focused all my attention on breathing properly and walking without tripping. So far, I was doing good and if I could keep this up, tonight should go good.

_Breathe in._  
_Right foot._  
_Breathe out._  
_Left foot._  
_Breathe in..._

"So," the only female of the group suddenly said, breaking the silence. "What made you decide to grace us with your presents?"

Her bluntness surprised me and I almost tripped over my feet.

"What the hell Sandra?" CC hissed.

"What." She snapped. "It's a valid questio-"

"Sandra, just shut up." A quiet voice suddenly spoke up. Andy. Sandra looked surprised, but she quickly recovered and shot him a glare.

_Holy fuck, if looks could kill._

"Just because you have some sort of man crush on him doesn't mean that I have to like him." She snarled. As soon as the words left her mouth, you could easily see that she instantly regretted it. Sandra looked quickly at me, then at Andy, then at the floor.

"I-I'm sorry." She muttered to the floor. I wasn't paying attention though. She just said that Andy liked me. He liked me. He fucking liked me.

I tried to keep my composer on the outside, but I don't know how good of a job I was doing because on the inside I was screaming. I looked over at Andy. He just stood there, frozen, his mouth open. He honestly looked like he was about to cry.

He started to make a run for it, but I broke out of my happiness induced shock and grabbed his hand. Andy looked at me, but before he could say anything, I turned to the guys and Sandra.

"No. Sandra is right, it is a valid question. I know I didn't bully you guys or join in on the beatings, but I didn't stop them either. I basically pretended you guys didn't exist." I gave Andy's hand a quick squeeze without looking at him. "That right there is almost as bad as what Justin and his friends did to you guys, and I would really like to apologise." I looked at each one of the group separately and then took a quick look at Andy. He stopped trying to pull away from my hand and just stared at me.

I took a deep breath and continued. "That doesn't really answer Sandra's question though," I nodded in her direction when I said her name. "I guess I just realised that, I don't like who I am. I don't like my reputation and I don't like my popularity. Justin isn't a real friend, he actually threatened me today, saying that if I turned into a "fag" that he would have no problem turning against me."

I paused for a second. No one said anything, but Sandra was still glaring at me. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, I want to start new. To Hell with my reputation and my old 'friends'. I want you guys as my friends... And..." I didn't know how to continue. I looked at Andy and tried making eye contact with him. He still wouldn't look at me though. I sighed.

"Andy, I like you too. You're the one who made me start thinking about my life. You're the one I want to change for. I really hope what Sandra said is true, because you have no idea just how much I like you."

_Andy's point of view_

"Andy, I like you too. You're the one who made me start thinking about my life. You're the one I want to change for. I really hope what Sandra said is true, because you have no idea just how much I like you." Ashley said, finally looking down at the floor for the first time since he started his speech. I gasped and looked up.

"Y-you, like me?" I whispered. He nodded without looking up.

"I-I..." I stopped. What if he was just playing with my feelings to try and get close to me like Sandra had said earlier? I looked over at CC who nodded, and then at Jinxx who smiled and gave me a thumbs up, indicating that it was okay for me to continue. I took a deep, calming breath.

"I like you too Ashley. I really do. You have no idea how long it took me to pick out what I wanted to wear because I wanted to look perfect for you." I whispered, looking back at the ground.

I could hear the smile in his voice as he started speaking. "My mum actually picked out my clothes, I had a really hard time too."

I laughed, "CC picked out mine."

"Awehh." CC said, reminding us that we weren't alone. "This is so fucking cute. I think I might have to go to the bathroom and puke up fucking rainbows."

I giggled as Jake added in, "I'm going to have to punch a kitten to feel manly again."

"Guys, the movie starts in five minutes. Lets go get our tickets." Jinxx said smiling, giving me a wink.

I blushed, and we started walking to the counter to get our tickets, Ashley never letting go of my hand.

A/N: I'm so sorry it's so short! The next one will be longer. :)**  
**Like always, comment if you like it, or even if you don't like it! Comments, positive or negative, can make me a better writer. :)**  
**See you next chapter! Cheers! xoxo


	10. Chapter 10

_**Andy's point of view**_

The movie was good... I think. I wasn't really paying attention to be completely honest; I was more focused on Ashley's hand in mine. Throughout the entire movie, he kept squeezing my hand gently and giving me soft, shy smiles. This wasn't the Ashley I knew at all, but I liked this Ashley. Maybe he was really ready to change and start a new life, and not just use me as Sandra had suggested.

Out of everyone, she was the only one that seemed angry at the fact that Ashley and I had confessed our feelings for each other. I really couldn't work out why, but I wouldn't let that spoil the intense happiness I was feeling.

After the movie, everyone went their separate ways except for Ashley and myself.

"Do you mind if I walk with you home?" He asked shyly, still holding tightly on my hand like at any moment I would slip away or tell him that I was lying and I actually didn't like him. It was funny really, because that's exactly what I was scared of.

"Of course." I responded with a smile. He flashed me a wide smile that made his whole face light up, almost as if he was expecting me to say no.

The walk home was silent, but it wasn't an awkward silence. It was comfortable and calming. I smiled to myself and gave Ashley's hand a squeeze, which he returned.

"Hey," Ashley suddenly said, breaking the silence between us. I waited for him to continue, but when he still didn't respond I giggled.

"Hey?" I said, urging him to continue.

"Uh, I-I was wondering... It's okay if you say no, please don't feel like you need to say yes-"

I cut him off with a smile. "Ashley, it's fine. I'll probably say yes."

He smiled at me. "I was wondering if you wanted to like, go out tomorrow night. Like, just you and me."

I stopped walking and looked at him. "You mean, like a date?" I asked excitedly.

"Well, yeah. If that's okay." He said quietly, looking down at his boots.

"I would love to." I said smiling, squeezing his hand.

Ashley let out an adorable squeak and pulled me into a hug. I was shocked, but laughed after a moment and hugged him back. After a moment he pulled away, wide-eyed.

"I'm so sorry... I've just been wanting to do that for a while now..." He whispered quietly, looking down at his boots _again._

"No, hey, I liked it. And stop looking at the ground dammit. I like your eyes." I said, grabbing his chin gently between my forefinger and thumb. Normally I wasn't this confident, but there was just something about Ashley that made me feel happy and alive. I didn't want this feeling to end.

I reached over and kissed his cheek lightly; bending down a little bit since I was a little bit taller than him.

"Come on," I said with a smile. "Lets get home."

_**Ashley's point of view**_

_He kissed me. He actually kissed me, _was all I thought about while walking with Andy. I know he didn't _technically _kiss me, and it was just a kiss on the cheek, but it counted, didn't it? I thought back to how I felt when he kissed me; my heart started racing, butterflies exploded in my stomach, my head starting spinning, and I felt my palms start to get sweaty. Yes, it definitely counted.

"So, where are we going to go tomorrow?" Andy asked.

I smiled and stopped walking; tugging on his hand lightly so that he was turned to face me. I looked into his deep blue eyes, getting lost in them for a moment. I stood up on my tippy toes and kissed his nose lightly.

"I can't tell you, it's a surprise." I finally replied.

Andy groaned but smiled. "But I don't like surprises Assshhhy."

My smile grew larger. "Ashy?" I asked.

His smile faded slightly. "Yeah, is that okay?"

"I like it. No one has ever called me that before." I replied, kissing his cheek and started walking again.

All too soon we reached his house. He turned towards me and pouted.

"Hey, it's okay." I said. "We'll see each other at school and then we have our date."

Andy giggled. "Yeah." Then he frowned. "Uh, I don't know if we should be seen at school just yet." He said quietly.

This time it was my turn to frown. "Why?"

"Well, us being seen together doesn't ruin my reputation at all. I mean, I don't even have a reputation to worry about. I'm just worried about you Ashy."

I smiled lightly. "Andy, I told you I wanted to start a new life, I don't give a damn about my reputation."

"I know you don't, but I do. Justin will treat you horrible. Probably worse than he treats me. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I wont Andy, I can handle myself." I replied.

"I know you can. Just... Please? Not yet." He pouted again. How the fuck can I say no to that?

"Fine. But soon." I said.

"Okay," He said smiling. "Text me when you get home, okay?"

"I will. See ya tomorrow Andy."

"Bye Ashy."

I gave him one last hug and he kissed me on the cheek. I watched him walk up the path to his house and waved back when he waved to me before he disappeared through the door. I missed him already, but I started my way home with a huge grin spread across my face.

_**Sandra's Point of View**_

_****_I didn't trust Ashley, at all. I still had a feeling that he was only playing around with Andy; attempting to make Andy trust him so that Justin could hurt Andy emotionally beyond repair. I sighed, frustrated, and threw myself on my bed. Part of me knew that I was overreacting, and that Ashley really did care about Andy and really was willing to change, but I ignored that part.

I felt my phone vibrate from my pocket. I rolled over on my back with a groan and checked the message. It was from Jinxx.

_Why were you being such a bitch tonight? _

I sighed. Jinxx calling me a bitch didn't offend or make me angry because I know it was true. But I couldn't tell him my reason. How could I tell him that I was deeply in love with Andy Biersack?

I thought about my response for a second, then quickly typed it out.

_I just don't trust Ashley. He's been Justin's friend for years. Why would he suddenly change? I don't want to see Andy get hurt._

Not even a second later, I felt my phone vibrate, indicating Jinxx had respond, but when I went to go check it, the message wasn't from Jinxx. It was from Andy.

_Hey Sandra. What was your problem today? You seemed really upset that Ashley was there._

I sighed. No matter what I told him, he'd get upset. He really seemed to care about Ashley.

_I don't know Andy. He just... Something about him makes me not trust him. I don't want to see you get hurt. _

I sent the text off. That seemed harmless enough. My phone vibrated again, this time with a message from Jinxx.

_I know Sandra. But he seems to really like Andy. We should really give him a chance. _

I sighed. How could I respond without reveling why I actually didn't want Andy and Ashley together? I decided to not even respond. I closed my eyes for a second, but my phone rang soon after.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey Sandra." Andy's deep voice came from the other end.

"Hey." I responded, not sure what else to say.

"So, listen. I really love the fact that you're worried about me, but I don't think Ashley is using me. He seems to really care about me... And Sandra I really like him too."

I paused for a second. "I know Andy, but... I've dated guys like him before. They just use you and hurt you."

Andy started to get angry then. "Sandra, you dated Justin in the fucking ninth grade. And that was only for a month. Ashley is _nothing _like Justin. Nothing."

Yeah, I dated Justin. It was the summer before high school started, before the stupid cliques of High School started. He was actually a really sweet guy, but High School changed him. High School changed everyone.

"Andy. Ashley's been friends with Justin for years. He's exactly like him!" I cried, exasperated.

"Ashy is nothing like Justin!"

I felt my heart break at Andy using a nickname for Ashley. "Why did he pretend like we didn't exist then Andy? Why did he suddenly decide he wanted to change? Why now?" I asked quietly.

"Because he wasn't happy! He realised he doesn't fit in with the Populars, he realised he's like us Sandra! He doesn't give a damn about his reputation!"

"That's all he fucking cares about Andrew! All that matters to fucking Ashley Purdy is his God for fucking saken reputation! He's not right for you Andy!" I hissed.

_He's not right for you but I am. _I added to myself.

"Fuck you. Just because you've been hurt in the past doesn't mean that guys are all the same! You're wrong Sandra, and it's just sad that you want to ruin my happiness like this. I thought you were my friend."

And with that he hung up. I threw my phone across the room, not caring if it broke as it hit the wall. I grabbed my pillow and slammed it to my face.

I half screamed, half cried into the pillow for God knows how long, but finally I just broke down and cried. Without even bothering to change out of my jeans and shirt, I crawled under the covers. I don't even know how long I cried for, but soon, I fell into an uneasy sleep with one thought in my head:

_I'll be there when Ashley proves me right. I'll be there to build Andy back up. I'll be there for him._

_A/N: And that is chapter ten! I don't really like this one... Just because I don't want Sandra trying to ruin the relationship. D'=__**  
**__But let me know what you guys think! Comments please... Positive or negative would be awesome. I'll see you next chapter! Cheers! xoxo _


	11. Chapter 11

_**Sandra's point of view**_

My 6:25am phone alarm would have woken me up if I was actually asleep. At around 5:30am I woke with a massive headache from crying and since then I hadn't been able to go back to sleep. So I had lay awake staring at the ceiling listening to music on my iPod when the alarm went off. I sighed and pulled my headphones out. The silence would have been deafening if it wasn't for that stupid alarm. I heaved myself out of bed and walked over to the corner where my phone lay. I bent down to pick it up, turned off the fucking alarm, and started to inspect my phone for damages from when I threw it last night. Only a slight crack on the screen, which was no big deal. I was actually expecting it to be worse from how hard I threw it, so the fact that it was barely cracked lifted my mood, until I remembered why I threw it.

Andy was mad at me. He had basically told me I was a shitty friend... Which maybe I was. I mean, I wasn't happy for him and Ashley when I know I should be. They weren't even together technically, but the way Andy's face had lit up around Ashley was pretty cute. Beyond cute actually, but it was the fact that Ashley was the reason Andy was so happy that irked me. I have been in love with the kid for over a year now, so it's kind of hard to be happy that another person was the reason Andy was so happy. Especially when that person was Ashley Purdy.

Another thing that pissed me right off was the fact that out of the blue, Ashley decided he wanted to change and that he liked Andy. Right out of the fucking blue. Up until then, he had been walking around like he owned the place, looking down at every single person. He had seemed to love nothing more than his own reputation as a man whore, but now suddenly he wanted to be friends with us? It wasn't fair. I knew I was being selfish, but it really wasn't fair. He had chosen the exact day that Andy had told us that Scout broke up with him that Ashley decided all this. I had been somewhat stupidly happy to hear that Scout had broken up with Andy because that meant I could have had a chance with him. I was going to be his support system, his best friend, his shoulder to cry on until he moved on from Scout... And realised that he loved me back. But Purdy boy had snatched that away.

I sighed again and reached towards the light switch, flicking on the light. The yellowish light flooded the room and made my head pound. This was going to be a fucking fantastic day.

I stood in front of the mirror, desperately trying to put on eyeliner, but whenever I put on a layer my tears would smudge it. Angrily, I wiped the stupid tears away and tried again. It was no use, the tears kept coming. At this point I didn't even know why I was crying anymore, I just knew that I was and it was a bitch. I sighed and started working on my hair, figuring that maybe the tears would stop in that time so that I could finish my makeup. By concentrating on straightening my dark hair perfectly, my tears had finally stopped. I layered my brown eyes with a thin layer of liquid eyeliner and put on my sunglasses. To be honest, I don't even know why I put on eyeliner at all if I was just going to cover my eyes with sunglasses, but I did every single morning.

Finally, I was finished with twenty minutes to get to school. I grabbed my backpack that was sitting on the floor at the end of my bed and started down the stairs.

"Morning hunny." My mum said from the kitchen table, slowly sipping on a cup of coffee.

"Morning." I replied, sounding more harsh than I intended. Mum decided to ignore my tone.

"Sleep well?" She asked as I poured myself a cup of coffee into a to-go mug. I sighed as I walked over to the fridge to grab some milk.

"No, not really." I replied a little more nicely this time. "I have such a bad headache and it wouldn't let me sleep properly.

"Aweh sweetie," Mum replied, getting up from her seat and walking over to the cupboard above the fridge where we kept out first aid kit and medicine. I poured a little bit of milk into my coffee and added a teaspoon of sugar while she searched for whatever she was looking for. I was putting the lid on the cup when she handed me two pills and a glass of water.

"Here, these will help." She said with a smile.

"Thanks mum," I replied, giving her a grateful smile.

I swallowed the pills, and took a big gulp of water as my mum returned to her seat at the table.

"Have a good day at school," She said as I made my way to the front door to tug on my shoes.

"I will mum, I love you. Thanks for the pills." I called as I walked through the front door.

The walk to school was a nice one. It was warm, with only a slight breeze that ruffled my hair. I walked slowly, dreading actually going to school, with my ear buds shoved in my ears and the music turned way up. I was singing along to my favourite song when I felt someone shove me hard from behind. Luckily, I managed to keep my balance and turned around, yanking out my right ear bud in the process.

"What the actual fuck." I hissed. Oh, just my luck too. It just had to be Justin.

"Nice to see you too, you emo bitch." He replied coldly. His friends laughed in the background, like it was the funniest thing they had ever heard.

"After two years you think you would have come up with something better." I glared at him, trying to keep my temper.

"Yeah, but you're really not worth my brain power." Justin smirked.

I just yawned. "What brain power?" I muttered.

"The fuck did you say?" He spat, getting up in my face. I wasn't in the mood for his bull shit, I seriously wasn't, because normally I would have kept my mouth shut, but not today. Today, I was ready to take my anger out on anyone who got in my way, even if that someone was Justin. Especially if that someone was Justin.

I rolled my eyes, an action I knew he couldn't see behind my sunglasses, so I dramatically sighed instead. "Deaf as well as stupid?" I asked innocently.

"That is fucking it." Justin spat, raising his fist to punch me in the face. I didn't even blink as his fist made direct contact with my nose. I heard a crunch and a sharp pain in my face.

"You're lucky that's all you're getting, you little cunt." He whispered in my ear. "We're saving the rest for your little faggot friend Andy." With that said, he shoved me as hard as he could, which actually had the force to knock me down this time, and continued on his way to school. As one of Justin's friends past, he took the opportunity to grind my hand against the pavement with his shoe.

I know I deserved it; I should have just kept my mouth shut, but the intense pain in my hand and face made me forget all about Andy and Ashley. I have this kind of problem that started when I was really little. Whenever I got upset or extremely angry, I would try and start a fight with someone that got so bad that it would end up physical. I guess it was my way of self harming without actually taking a razor or a lighter to my skin. I sighed, feeling a lot better emotionally than I had all morning. I pulled myself up, grabbed my backpack that had ended up on the ground beside me, and started to dust off my black skinnies before starting to walk to school.

Because of the run in with Justin, I was five minutes late for class. I walked in, earning a death glare from my teacher, and made my way to my usual seat at the back.

"Hey," A voice whispered when I had unslung my backpack from my shoulder and sat down. I looked to my right.

_Fuck._

I forgot that Ashley and I shared the same maths class. Well God fucking Damn it.

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

I hated Maths, even though I loved the teacher. It was boring and I didn't know anyone in the class except for Kina, who was sat at the front because she was still mad at me, and Sandra. Sandra wasn't here yet though, and I was starting to think she wasn't going to show up when she walked into class. By the looks of it, she had a run in with Justin on her way to school.

I know Sandra didn't like me because she didn't trust me yet, but taking in her obviously broken nose and bloody hand, I instantly felt rage boiling up in the pit of my stomach. What the fuck was Justin's problem? The Outcasts have never done anything to deserve this. Yes, I will admit that they acted like cocky bastards whenever Justin picked on them, but they had a reason to. They had two options when it came from Justin; Beg and cry, but still get beat up, or keep your dignity by acting like an asshole and still get beat up. As I would, they picked the option of keeping their dignity.

Sandra walked to the back of the room and all but threw her backpack on the floor before sitting herself down in the desk beside me, slightly wincing as she did so, indicating Justin had kicked her in the stomach.

"Hey," I whispered to her, just loud enough for her to hear me.

Sandra looked at me, her eyes wide. Looks like she forgot I was in her class. She turned back towards the front, completely ignoring me. I sighed inwardly. Normally, I'd get the hint and give up, but I knew that I had to try and get on good terms with her because she was one of Andy's best friends. I tried again.

"Are you okay? Looks like you saw Justin this morning," I whispered, trying to make a small joke.

She turned and glared at me. "Oh yeah," She whispered harshly. "You probably know all about it. You probably met up with him before class and had a nice laugh."

See? She doesn't trust me. "No, I haven't seen or talked to Justin since last night before we went to the movie." I whispered back.

"Yeah, okay Ashley." She whispered sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Sandra," I whispered once she turned away from me again. She ignored me.

"Sandra," I whispered a bit louder. Still, she ignored me, playing with her lip ring. It made me think of Andy.

"Sandra." I said, slightly louder than a whisper.

"What." She hissed finally, turning her head towards me.

"What can I do to make you trust me?"

Her faced relaxed slightly. Instead of looking angry and about ready to bite my head off, she just looked sad. Very sad and very tired.

She turned to face back towards the front and I thought she went back to ignoring me until she said:

"Just don't hurt Andy."

"I won't," I replied.

Sandra turned towards me, looking about ready to cry. "No, I'm serious Ashley. He's had so much shit happen to him. With the bullying and the heartbreak caused by his last girlfriend... He doesn't deserve any of it. So please, I am actually begging you; please don't hurt him."

I was caught off guard by how valuable Sandra looked and sounded just then. This wasn't the Sandra I knew at all. True, I didn't know her that well, but from what I've seen over the past couple years that I've known of her, and how she's been acting towards me, she seemed so guarded and a complete bitch to be honest. But, like my tough guy appearance, I realised it could all just be an act.

She really did seem to care about Andy. A lot. I had a thought just then.

"Sandra..." I asked slowly, still whispering as to not be called out by the teacher.

She turned around and looked at me, her facial expression still somewhat welcoming. That alone gave me the courage to ask her what I was about to.

"Please don't get offended, I just really want to know, even though you don't trust me."

"Shoot," she said, sounding a little bit defeated.

"Do you like Andy? Is that the real reason you don't like or trust me?" I asked slowly.

Sandra was silent for a moment, I could see the war waging in her head. After a moment, she turned towards me, and said, without looking at me:

"No." She paused and looked into my eyes. "I love him, so I only want him to be happy. I see now that I'm not the one he wants or needs to make him happy though. From what I can tell, he's happy with you. As much as that fucking kills me, I'm willing to look past my own sadness for his happiness. That's why I didn't like you Ashley, because I love him but he likes you."

I paused, kind of shocked that she opened up to me the way she did. Out of natural instinct, I reached over to grab her hand in order to try and comfort her. I took her not pulling away as a good sign, and began rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand. She was still staring intently at the floor. She let out a strange gulping sound every now and then, and I knew she was trying to hold back tears.

"Hey," I whispered softly. Sandra looked up at me, a little unsure.

"I wont hurt him Sandra. I'll keep him happy as long as he wants it to be me keeping him happy. I can promise you that."

For the first time since I met her, she smiled at me.

A/N: Chapter eleven! Goodness. That was a hard one to write. I had no idea where I wanted to go with this... But I deprived myself of going out for a smoke before it was finished... So I finished! Haha. I kinda like this chapter, because the last chapter made Sandra seem kind of like a bitch who was trying to get in between Andy and Ashley's blooming relationship... And that wasn't my intention. I'm happy that Sandra and Ashley made up... :)**  
**Anyway, as always, comment! Any negative or positive feedback makes me happy. :) See you next chapter! Cheers! xoxo


	12. Chapter 12

_Andy's point of view_

The day past very slowly to say the least. All I could think about was my date with Ashley tonight. We had been texting all day since the moment we both got up, but it wasn't the same as actually seeing him. I missed him, as stupid as that sounds because we only admitted our feelings towards each other last night, but I did miss him. However, he had kept with his promise and acted normal.

At lunch, he avoided us and pretended we didn't exist like he normally did, but every so often he would glance up from his lunch and give me a small smile. I was sat at my normal lunch table with CC when Sandra walked up, smiling.

"Hey, what's with you?" I asked with a chuckle. She didn't look at me when she spoke, but instead directed her words to CC.

"You're right CC, Ashley's a great guy. I was wrong to mistrust him." She said quietly as to not be overheard by anyone passing by.

"I told you he was!" CC exclaimed happily before digging into his burger and fries. He looked at me and smiled, his mouth full and ketchup smeared in the corner of his mouth.

"Ew," I said with a laugh, tossing him a napkin before turning my attention to Sandra. "What made you change your mind?"

She hesitated for a moment before turning to me, her smile seeming a bit forced. "We talked in History for a bit. He's a really great guy Andy. I was wrong to shout at you and say otherwise... Forgive me?"

I laughed and got up to hug her. "I could never stay mad at you Sandra, you're one of my best friends." I felt her tense up when I hugged her, but after a second, she relaxed and hugged me back.

Jinxx and Jake walked up, carrying their lunch trays and plopped down in their seats.

"Hey lover boy." Jake smirked. "Where's Ash?"

I nodded my head in Ashy's general direction as to not draw attention to him. Jinxx at least got my hint, and he pretended to stretch his neck to look at Ash. Jake however, full out turned to look. I sighed.

"Jake." I said when he had been staring for a full five seconds. Luckily, I managed to stop him before he tried to get Ashley's attention. He turned back around with a questioning look.

"Why isn't he over here with us?" He asked.

"I didn't want him to. Justin will turn on him and he'll probably get it worse than I do. I don't want him to have to go through that." I replied, pushing my lunch around on my plate. I knew I wasn't going to eat it; I never do, but each lunch, without fail, I buy food. I don't know why.

"Understandable I guess." Jake said, sounding more than a little disappointed. "I like Ashley, I was looking forward to hanging out."

I didn't reply. I knew how he felt, but I really didn't want Ashley getting beaten up because of me. I looked over at him. He was talking to Justin, who kept looking at me every now and then with a smirk on his face. Ashley let out a forced laugh. I looked back down quickly; making sure my fringe was covering my face. A minute later I felt my phone vibrate. I pulled it out of my pocket, having a little bit of trouble because of my tight pants, and read the message. It was from Ashley.

_Hey, please don't go anywhere alone today. Walk to classes with your friends; don't even go to the bathroom alone. Justin is after you today._

I let out a bitter laugh and quickly looked at Ashley, he held my gaze for a moment. His eyes were filled with worry.

_Justin is always after me._

I sent off a message and watched him through my fringe as he read the message. He shook his head slightly and started typing. As soon as he sent off the message, he went back to talking with his 'friends'. I checked my phone.

_No, I mean it Andy. He had a run in with Sandra this morning so he's more of an ass than normal. Just trust me, please? I don't want to see you hurt._

I sighed and looked at Justin from under my fringe. He was sitting there glaring at me, and when he saw me looking, he gave me a smirk and a sarcastic wave. I had to almost physically force myself to not return the fucking wave with the middle finger and a bright, big smile. Instead, I gloated inside my head.

_Well fuck you Justin. I have something that you don't anymore. I have Ashley Purdy._

I smiled and went back to playing with my food, listening to my friends chat.

"So when is the next band practice Andy?" CC asked with his mouth full.

"Saturday." I replied, looking at him with a smile.

I guess I forgot to mention my band. I started the band a couple years ago, with Jake and Jinxx as guitarists, Sandra as base, CC on drums, and myself singer. We were called Black Veil Brides. Some people think it's a silly name, but I actually think it's quite beautiful. The term came from when a woman marries herself into the church, giving up everything for God. There's a huge ceremony and everything. I'm not religious, but I just thought that the idea was beautiful, giving up the pleasures of life for God. It's kind of the same idea when in a band; when you're in a band, that band becomes your whole life.

We haven't had any gigs yet, but I knew we would make it far. I have such faith that we will take over the world, someday.

"CC, how many times have I asked you not to talk with your mouth full?" Sandra asked with mock sternness. CC swallowed quickly.

"Sorry mum." He said with a huge grin.

"So Saturday at two then? Like always?" Jinxx asked me.

I nodded in response. "Mum and dad will be away for the weekend because they're visiting my Grandparents, so that means we wont have to worry about bugging them."

Since we haven't had band practice in while because of my whole depression thing with Scout, the guys all started to talk excitedly about it. Sandra was the only one who stayed quiet, slowly picking away at her food.

_What is wrong with her?_ I wondered to myself as I got up to throw out my uneaten lunch.

Right before I sat back down, the bell rang out. Students started getting up to throw out the uneaten portions of their food or to go to their lockers to gather their books.

"I'll see you in Chemistry Andy." CC called as he started to walk towards his locker. I suddenly remembered Ashley's warning, as much as I hated cowering away from Justin, I trusted Ashley, and he was worried about me.

"Hey, CC! Wait!" I called before he got any further. He turned around, giving me a confused look, but started to walk towards me regardless.

"What's up?" He asked when he got to me.

I filled him in quickly, his eyes slowly getting wider and wider as I told him.

"Wow. Well, at least Ashley told you." He said with a grin once I was finished. I nodded.

"Chemistry won't be a problem," I said slowly. "Because you're in the class with me, but what about English and History? No one else is in them with me."

CC didn't even hesitate to respond. "I'll walk you to your classes of course."

I shook my head quickly. "No, if Justin doesn't get a chance to hurt me, he'll probably go after you when you're alone. Like, after you drop me off at class and go to your own."

He thought for a moment, realising that what I said was probably true. "I don't know Andy, the only thing I can think of is skipping the rest of school,"

I cut him off. "No, I can't. I missed enough school already."

CC gave me a look before continuing. "Or, we could go to one of the teachers. Tell him what's been going on."

"They wont believe us," I sighed.

"Mr Norman will. He likes you."

I thought for a moment. It was worth a try, plus if what Ashley said is true, I really don't want a run in with Justin.

CC walked me to English, because his class was right next door. Ashley and I didn't speak in that class either because of the fear we, well I, had that one of Justin's friends might have seen us. We did, however, exchange cute text messages and smiles.

After class, CC picked me up and we walked to Chemistry together in silence.

Chemistry was beyond boring, but I paid attention anyway, only catching myself zoning out five times. After class, CC and I packed up our stuff slowly, waiting for the rest of the class to rush out the door. Soon, we were the last ones left and we walked up to Mr Norman, who smiled at us as we approached.

"Andrew, Christian." He greeted us. CC cringed at the use of his real name, but didn't say anything. "What can I do for you guys?"

I paused for a second, not sure where to begin. CC looked at me and then at Mr Norman.

"We're having some issues with a couple of guys sir." CC said.

Mr Norman nodded slowly. CC looked at me, urging me to continue from where he left off. I sighed.

"Uhm, a friend of mine is a friend with these guys. He told me one of the guys is after me..." I trailed off frowning. This was a bad idea.

"He's actually always picking on us, because we're different." CC said slowly.

Mr Norman just nodded again; looking from me to CC, then back again.

_He doesn't believe us, he doesn't believe us._

"I'm kind of scared to walk to class by myself sir, but... I can't ask CC to walk me because he might get hurt walking alone to his own class."

Mr Norman paused for a moment. "Have you told anyone else about this bullying?" He finally asked.

CC and I shook our heads at the same time. "We've been too afraid," I admitted quietly.

"Understandable. A lot of bullying victims never speak up." He paused, thinking. Then he flashed us a grin. "Well, I don't have a class now, so how about I walk you guys to your classes today? I'll walk with you now, then meet each of you outside your classes at the end to walk you to your next one."

CC and I grinned, looking at each other. He actually believes us!

"You only have to walk us to our next class. We both have spare for last period," I said happily.

Mr Norman smiled and nodded, but then continued on with his plan. "However, tomorrow after my class, I want you guys to come with me to the Main Office. You guys shouldn't be living in fear of bullies. You need to tell someone who can do something about it."

Meaning, he wanted us to speak to the principle. I looked back over at CC, worry clear in my eyes.

"O-okay," CC muttered, his voice shaky. He was just as scared as me.

After we agreed to tell someone, we walked out the classroom with myself in the lead. Sure enough, Ashley wasn't lying. Justin was waiting outside of my classroom with his friends. When he saw me, he smirked and started making his way over towards me. I smirked back and waved, knowing by the way his face fell that CC and Mr Norman had just walked out. Justin walked past me, getting close enough to mutter, "You're dead, faggot." I paid no attention to him, and the three of us chatted lightly as we walked to my next class.

I walked into my History class, waving goodbye to CC and Mr Norman. I was a few seconds late, but for the first time I didn't mind. I just ignored the stares I got from the students and made my way to the back of the class.

My phone vibrated as I sat down and pulled out my books. The message was from Ashley, and I swear my heart jumped into my throat when I read his name. I unlocked my phone and read the message.

_Hey, I hope you got to class okay. Meet me at the park at 5:00 for our date, kay? :) xx_

I smiled at the message and typed a quick response.

_Okay. :D I can't wait, but just so you know, I still hate surprises._

Not even a minute later he responded.

_You'll like this one. Now pay attention in class! I'll talk to you after school._

I let out a small chuckle and put my phone away. While I was taking notes about the oral project we had coming up, my phone vibrated again.

_I talked to the rest of the guys about Justin. We'll meet you outside of your class, kay? Then we can hang out at your place until your date. :)_

I smiled at CC mentioning my date with Ashy and responded with a quick okay. It was pretty cool that my friends and I all had the same spare. That's actually one of the reasons we all became so close.

After the lesson, we were left to plan our presentation. I had no idea what I wanted to do. Nothing in History interested me at all. I sighed and tapped my pen against my desk. Suddenly, I remembered the teacher mentioning something that happened a long time ago. I went up to the front to talk to her about it.

"Hey Mrs Cameron," I said shyly. I was never usually the one to go up and talk to the teacher about anything.

She looked up from her computer and smiled at me. "Yes Andrew?"

I cleared my throat. "Do you remember talking about that student led protest thing that happened in China?" She nodded, her smile growing wider. "What was it called again."?

"I think you might be referring to Tiananmen Square." She said.

I nodded. "Would it be okay if I talked about that in my project?"

"Yes, of course." She replied happily. I smiled and went back to my seat.

I like the idea behind Tiananmen Square. In 1989, (I had to Google the date) a group of students went to Tiananmen Square to mourn the death of a guy that was pretty high up in the Communist Party of China. The peaceful demonstration was soon stopped when some stupid leaders commanded the army to enforce martial law. A lot of innocent people were killed during what is now known as the June 4th Massacre. It was pretty sick.

After writing some ideas down on a sheet of paper, the bell went. I looked happily at my notes, already pretty confident that I was going to do well on this assignment, and began to pack up my stuff. Sure enough, when I walked out my classroom, my friends were waiting for me. We exchanged a few hello's and then walked to my car in a comfortable silence.

When we got to my house, the guys raided my fridge of all its contents and we sat down to play some games. Sandra was unusually quiet, but I didn't really worry about it too much. I was too excited about my date.

Finally, around 4:15, they left, giving me only about forty-five minutes to get ready and walk to the park.

I headed up to my room and decided I didn't have enough time to shower. Instead, I just fixed my hair and makeup, adding a little bit more eyeliner. I looked in the mirror once I finished and figured I looked decent enough. I grabbed my wallet, ran down the stairs and started pulling on my boots at the front door. I heard the garage open and my parents car pull in. Not two minutes later my mum walked in. When she saw me she smiled.

"Hey Andy," She said, struggling to pull off her high heel boots. I sighed and walked over to help her.

"Hey mummy." I said, pulling on her right boot when she lifted her leg up high enough. She had to lean on the wall to not topple over considering how tall I am.

"Where are you off to tonight? Hanging with the guys?" She asked.

"Nah, I'm going to go hang out with Ashley Purdy."

My mum looked surprised for a second, then smiled.

"That's good to hear hun." She said, giving me a quick hug before walking into the kitchen to start dinner. "Do you know what time you'll be home?"

I shook my head. "No, but I'll text you as soon as I get home." I said over my shoulder as I walked back towards the front door.

"Alright. Just remember tomorrow you have school, so I don't want you out too late."

"I know. I love you."

"I love you too, have fun sweetie." My mum called as I walked out the door.

The ten-minute walk was a chilly one, and I pulled my jacket tighter to me as I breathed in my cigarette. I pulled out my phone and checked the time. Upon seeing that it was 4:56, I started to walk faster. I made it to the park two minutes past five. I noticed Ashley leaning against a tree, doing something with his phone. As I got closer, he looked up quickly and smiled. He looked back down at his phone and swore. I guess he was playing a game. I walked up to him and he put his phone away and pulled me into a hug.

"Hey Andy, I missed you." He whispered into my shoulder. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him.

I breathed in his scent. "I missed you too," I replied. We stood like that, arms wrapped tight around each other, for about two minutes.

"Come on," He said, pulling away. "We're going to be late."

"Going to be late for what?" I asked as Ashley grabbed my hand and started to pull me down the pavement.

"Our date silly."

"I didn't realise our date had a time limit." I said jokingly. Ashley didn't respond, he just looked at me and winked.

We walked in a comfortable silence, our hands intertwined as we walked down the pavement. As we walked along, we got a few odd looks and rude comments, but we ignored it. We were too happy and lost in each other's touch.

Finally, we were standing in front of a fancy looking restaurant. When I saw where we were, my jaw dropped. Ashley turned to look at me, giggled, and kissed me on the nose. He gently closed my jaw and pulled me inside.

When we got up to the front, the lady greeted us, smiling when she saw us holding hands. She was pretty in a plain way. Her blonde hair pulled back in a simple ponytail. Her lips were a nice shade of red, and she wore just a light layer of eyeliner and mascara.

"There should be a reservation under Ashley Purdy." Ashley said, smiling.

The girl looked down at her computer and smiled when she found what she was looking for.

"Right this way sirs." She said, grabbing two menus and leading us into the dinning area.

We walked in and my eyes widened. The ceiling was kind of low, but it just made it more welcoming, especially because the ceiling was covered in tiny circular lights. The seats were an off white and very comfortable looking. When I passed by, I could see why; the seats were covered in a soft cushion. The tops of the tables were a type of marble I'm assuming, which was lined by a dark wood. It looked inviting, and it was very fancy.

The lady sat us down and told us our server would be with us shortly. We said thank you and I turned to Ashley.

"Ashhhy, this place looks really expensive." I whined.

"It's fine Andy, seriously. I have the money, and I really want to show you how much you mean to me." He said smiling, opening the menu.

"Taking me to McDonald's would have made me happy." I muttered, suddenly worried.

I don't eat. How can I sit here in a fancy restaurant pushing around my expensive food around my plate? Ashley would notice. Ashley would say something, realise that I have an eating disorder, and hate me forever. I sighed and looked at the menu, looking for something small and relatively cheap.

The cheapest dish was $15.00. My eyes widened, and Ashley noticed and giggled. He reached over and grabbed my hand.

"Andy baby, get whatever you want. Seriously, it doesn't matter." He said with a smile. I felt my face heat up when he called me baby and I ducked my head down so that he wouldn't see.

"Hey, no. Don't hide your face. I love your blue eyes, plus you look really cute when you blush." Ashley said.

We continued making small talk when our waiter came up. He was a young man with short brown hair and grey eyes. He smiled at us, but when he saw our hands linked together, his smile faded.

"My name is Matt and I'll be your server for tonight. Can I start you guys off with something to drink?"

"I'll have a coke." I said flatly. I would have smiled at him, but I noticed that his smile was forced and there was a slight look of disgust in his eyes.

"Ice tea," Ashley said with a smile. Clearly he hadn't noticed how Matt was treating us.

Matt took down our orders and walked away.

"Ash, didn't you notice how that guy was looking at us?" I whispered.

To my surprise, he nodded. "But I don't care. I'm just happy to be on a date with you. I don't let closed-minded people like that get to me, and neither should you. You're too cute to worry about what other people think."

I smiled at him and looked back down at the menu.

"Have you decided what you want?" Ashley asked, trailing circles on my hand.

I nodded slightly. I figured that since Ashley had done this for our first official date, I would try and eat something. One time wouldn't hurt, would it?

"I kinda want pasta." I said. Ashley smiled at me.

"I've been craving steak," He said.

I smiled and looked at the menu, scanning the various types of pasta they had. "Hmm, maybe I'll have seafood penne."

"Get whatever you want baby." Ashley said.

Just then, Matt came back with our drinks. "Have you decided what you wanted to eat?"

Ashley looked at me. "Have you ever had calamari?"

I shook my head.

"But you like Seafood, right?" He asked me.

"Yeah," I replied with a smile.

Ash smiled and turned back towards the waiter. "Can we get an order of calamari to start? And then I'll have the steak."

"What would you like as your side?" Matt asked without looking up from his notepad.

"Hmm, baked potato please."

"Alright," Matt replied, writing it down. He turned towards me and forced a smile. "And for you sir?"

"I'll have the seafood penne." I replied.

"Alright," Matt replied yet again, writing it down and sticking his notepad into his front pocket. He grabbed our menus and walked away.

Ten minutes later, Matt brought us our calamari and filled our drinks.

"What is it?" I asked with a laugh, looking at the plate in front of us.

"Squid," Ashley responded, reaching to grab one and dip it in the sauce it came with. He laughed at my expression. "Just try it Andy, I promise you'll like it."

I reached over slowly, and grabbed the smallest piece I could find. I dipped it into the sauce and stuck it in my mouth. Flavour exploded in my mouth as I chewed and I smiled up at Ashley who was watching me.

"It's really good Ashy." I smiled. Ashley's smile grew.

After dinner, Matt took away our plates and asked if we wanted dessert. Ashley looked at me.

"Oh, no. I'm so full." I said, putting a hand on my stomach. I wasn't lying; the pasta was so good that I ate every last bite. I seriously thought I was going to be sick. I haven't eaten that much in forever.

"So just the bill?" Matt asked.

Ashley and I nodded at the waiter and he smiled his forced fucking smile and walked away.

"Did you enjoy it, honestly?" Ashley asked, looking a little worried.

I grabbed his hand and smiled at him reassuringly. "Yes, it was really sweet of you to do this on our first date. I mean it Ashy, it means the world to me."

After Ashley paid, we walked out holding hands.

"Home time?" I asked Ashley.

Ashley shook his head. "Not unless you have to be home, but it's only seven thirty." He said, checking his phone.

"No, as long as I'm home before ten it'll be fine." I said, pulling out my phone to text my mum.

"Alright good, because I'm taking you ice skating!" Ashley said, getting really excited.

I laughed. "Ice skating in March?"

Ashley looked at me with mock sternness. "Andy. Stop being so close-minded you bitch. There's an ice rink just down the road."

I laughed and let him lead me down the pavement.

Ice skating was fun. I had only been once or twice, but that was when I was really little. Ashley was enjoying himself greatly; he had a fun time laughing at me whenever I fell.

Currently, he was walking me back to my house, but I could tell something was wrong. He had gone extremely quiet and he kept biting his nails, but whenever I asked him what was wrong he would smile and tell me that it was nothing. Finally, I just gave up and lost myself in the feeling of his hand around mine.

All too soon, we were in front of my house. He pulled my hand so that I was facing him and smiled, worry clear in his brown eyes.

"What is it Ashes?" I asked, using a new nickname I had came up with while at dinner.

"Andy baby, I know we haven't known each other for very long, but I enjoy your company, and I really like you." Ashley said, looking deep in my eyes.

My heart thudded against my chest as Ashley took a deep breath to continue.

"Andy, will you be my boyfriend?"

_A/N: Finally chapter twelve. It took me forever to write... And I'm sorry it's so long! I just couldn't find a good place to end it sooner and I really wanted to add the date in this chapter. :) _

_As always if you enjoyed it (or didn't) drop me a comment letting me know! Negative or positive feedback makes me a very happy writer. :) _

_See you next chapter! Cheers! xoxo_


	13. Chapter 13

_"Andy baby, I know we haven't known each other for very long, but I enjoy your company, and I really like you." Ashley said, looking deep in my eyes._

_My heart thudded against my chest as Ashley took a deep breath to continue._

_"Andy, will you be my boyfriend?"_

_**Ashley's point of view**_

I held my breath, waiting for his response. I didn't dare look at him, but I could only imagine what his facial expression was.

_Shock._

_Disbelief._

_Disgust._

I was stupid forever thinking he would want to be my boyfriend. He could do so much better - The kid was beautiful, smart, and funny... Yes, he was a little damaged, but weren't we all? If it wasn't for our stupid, judgmental school and my stupid fucking friends, he could be popular. He could have any guy or girl he wanted. Why would he want me?

_Stupid._

_Stupid._

_Stupid._

_How could you ever think he would want to-_

"Ashley." Andy said softly, breaking me out of my thoughts. I closed my eyes tightly, holding back tears. I no longer wanted to hear his answer that was sure to break my heart.

"Ashley," Andy said again. I didn't respond. "Ashes, I-"

I cut him off. "No Andy, it's okay. I understand. How could you want me? You don't have to say it. I already know I'm stupid for thinking I would have a chance with you. I'm sorry."

I sighed and started to walk away, but this time it was his turn to grab my hand and make me stay.

"You are stupid Ashes." He whispered, and I felt tears spring to my eyes. I looked away, refusing to look at him until he gently grabbed my chin and forced me to. I looked into his bright blue eyes, which, to both my surprise and confusion, danced with happiness.

"You are stupid Ashley," He whispered again, brushing away the few tears that managed to escape my eyes. "But not for thinking that I could ever want you, but for even thinking that you were stupid for thinking that."

I looked up at him, looking into his eyes when I knew mine showed my confusion.

"Yes," Andy smiled. "Yes Ashley. I will be your boyfriend."

I froze for a second; letting his words and their meaning fully sink in. Slowly, my face broke into a smile.

"You will?" I asked grinning.

"Yes," Andy said, returning the smile. "Yes! I will be your boyfriend!" He shouted happily.

I laughed and pulled him tight in a hug. "You're wonderful Andy."

"I know." He said jokingly, returning the hug. I pulled away from him slowly, looking in his eyes. He looked down at me, his smile fading a little bit as his gaze fell to my lips. I stood on my tippy toes a bit as he leaned down. I slowly closed my eyes, his beautiful lips centimeters from mine. Just before our lips could touch, we heard a sound coming from Andy's house and jumped away. Andy looked away, slightly embarrassed. He glanced at the door before looking down at his feet.

"Hey mum." He muttered, his cheeks turning a deep shade of red.

I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Hey Mrs. Biersack. Just came by to drop Andy off. Didn't want him waking home by himself." I shuffled my feet awkwardly.

"Oh! Hey Ashley. It's nice seeing you again." She said, giving me a warm smile. If she saw anything that happened just moments before, she didn't show it, and for that I was relieved.

"I heard yelling from outside and thought it was Andy. Just came out to see what the noise was about." Andy's mum continued, slightly chuckling. She was completely unaware of the awkwardness.

"Yeah," Andy said, still talking to his feet. "Ashley is in my English class. He told me the assignment isn't due until Monday. I got rather excited." He let out a forced laugh.

"Well that's good then." She replied with a smile. "I hate to cut the party short, but it's getting kind of late. Ashley can come in for a bit if he wants, but I really don't want you outside at this time." Mrs. Biersack continued, talking to Andy.

"No, that's okay Mrs. Biersack. I should be heading home anyway. I have some homework I should do for another class."

Mrs. Biersack smiled, again. "Well okay, and Ashley please call me Amy. Mrs. Biersack is my mum, and I'm not that old." She laughed.

I inwardly cringed at the attempted joke but laughed anyway. "Alright Amy. It was nice seeing you again!"

"It was nice seeing you too Ashley. Say hello to your parents for me." Amy said, walking into the house. As soon as the screen door shut, I turned to Andy.

"Well that was close." I said with a slight chuckle.

"Yeah," Andy replied with a shaky laugh, his cheeks still bright red. "Do you think she saw anything?"

I shook my head. "Don't your parents know you're bi?"

"No," He whispered, looking back at the ground. "I told them in grade nine, but they thought nothing of it. Said it was a phase I was going through." He waved his hand, letting out a forced, short laugh that contained no humor. "Doesn't matter."

"Okay. Well, I should probably go. We do still have that English assignment due tomorrow."

Andy let out a real laugh this time. "Yeah." He looked up at me, his eyes full of happiness and hope. "Will you text me when you get home?"

"Nope." I said, trying to keep a straight face, clear of all emotions. Andy's face fell. "I'll text you as soon as you walk into the house."

Andy's face glowed as he smiled. "I miss you already Ashes," He said, pulling me in for a hug.

"Not as much as I miss you, Bright Eyes." I said, returning the hug.

_**Andy's point of view**_

I smiled so hard that it hurt at Ashley's use of my new nickname. I was his boyfriend. Ashley Purdy was mine. Too soon, the warm embrace ended.

"I'll text you, kay?" Ashley said, starting to walk towards his house.

"I'll hold you to that." I said with a slight chuckle. We waved goodbye and I made my way up the concrete steps to the front door. My pocket vibrated just as I reached for the door handle. Without even opening the door, I excitedly pulled out my phone.

_That was fun. :) xx_

I smiled and quickly typed out a response, only using my right hand as I reached for the door with my left hand.

_It was. I had an amazing time. Thank yoooooooooooooooooooou. xoxoxoxoxoxox :):):):):):)_

I step inside and took off my boots, still smiling from ear to ear. My mum appeared around the corner.

"What are you so happy about?" She asked.

I focused on taking off my boots so that she wouldn't see me blush. I shrugged, trying to act casual. "Just good to be hanging out with someone new is all. Always nice to make new friends."

"And Ashley seems like a great kid. I never understood why you two didn't get along before."

I shrugged again, not wanting to explain my problems at school. I already had to do that tomorrow.

_Fuck._

I felt dread settle on my skin like an icy fog. I had completely forgotten about having to go to the principle's office tomorrow with CC.

_Ashley will probably hate me when he finds out._ I thought, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow. I have some homework I need to finish for Chemistry tomorrow."

"Night sweetie," Mum called from behind me as I rushed up the stairs.

"Night." I called back.

_You need to tell him now, before he finds out from Justin or anyone else. It'll be better coming from you. _I thought to myself, sitting on the edge of my bed. I pulled out my phone.

_Hey babe. Please don't be mad when I tell you this..._

I struggled to find the right words to explain it to him, but came up blank. I sent off what I had and waited for his text. Instead, not even two seconds later, my phone started ringing, indicated a phone call.

"Hello?" I said, a little hesitantly.

"Tell me what?" Ashley's voice came from the other end. He sounded worried, and a little bit mad.

"You have to promise not to get mad." I replied. Then I realised why he sounded mad. "Oh, no! Don't worry baby, I didn't cheat on you or anything already. You're my boyfriend. The only one I want."

I heard him breathe out a sigh of relief. I laughed a little bit.

"Honestly Ashy, you think I would have cheated you already? I'm offended." I giggled, bringing my knees up to my chest. I probably looked like a love struck teenage girl chatting to her crush right now, but I didn't care.

I heard his low laugh from the other end. "No. Yes. I don't know. Your text was worrying!"

I giggled in response. "Sorry baby."

"It's okay. So what did you want to tell me?"

I paused. "You have to promise you won't be mad."

Ashley laughed, but I could tell it was a bit forced. "Baby, as long as you didn't cheat on me in the five minutes since I saw you, I promise."

I bit my lip ring. "Mrnormanismakingmeandccgotot heofficetomorrowaboutjustin."

Silence, then laughter. "What?"

I groaned. "Don't make me say it again."

"You're going to have to if you want me to understand babe."

I sighed and took a deep breath. "My chemistry teacher is making me and CC go down to the office tomorrow."

A long pause. "Is that it?" He laughed.

"No. There's a reason. Uhm, we told him about Justin cause of what you told me today. I was afraid to walk to any of my classes alone. He agreed to walk us but only if we told the office about the bullying."

An even longer pause.

"Ashley?" I asked.

"Can I come over?" Ashley asked suddenly.

"Uh, everyone is sleeping. Mum would get mad."

"You have a tree I can climb up into and into your window. Please baby?"

I giggled. "Okay, but only because I miss you."

"See you soon."

"Okay."

I hung up the phone, worried that he was actually mad. I mean, I was ratting out his best friend after all. I paced nervously for ten minutes straight until I heard a small knock at my window. I jumped a foot high into the air and looked over towards the window, spotting a giggling Ashley perched in the tree. I walked over and smiled. I took out the screen and opened the window to allow him to climb through.

"Hello birdman." I said, smiling from ear to ear. He smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"Hey Bright Eyes." He whispered, making me shiver. I hugged him back tightly, almost resting my chin on his head because of how tall I was.

"Why'd you have to come over?" I asked. Ash pulled out the hug and looked up at me, a slight smile tugging on the corners of his lips.

"Two reasons. One, I missed you. Two, I needed to tell you face-to-face that you're an idiot for thinking I would ever be mad at you for something like this."

"So you're not mad?" I asked, still not really believing him. I was fucking selling out his best friend, how could he not be?

"Andy baby," Ashley said, sitting down on the edge of my bed. "I haven't been Justin's best friend in a while. Of course he still thinks I am, but honestly, even before I started talking to you and your friends, I was more your friend than his."

I smiled and he took my hand, looking down at the floor. "Besides, if you tell someone about the bullying, they might do something about it. Justin and some of his friends might get suspended, expelled even. Then..." Ashley paused.

"Then...?" I asked, urging him to continue after a few seconds of silence. He looked up at me, a slight smile on his face.

"Then I can finally be myself. We could even go public as boyfriends..." He trailed off, whispering the last part. I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. Ashley wanted to go public? He actually wanted to be seen with me? My face broke into a grin, but he couldn't see that because he was staring intensely at the floor.

"If you want..." He whispered after I didn't say anything.

"If I want?" I exclaimed. "Ashes, what would I have to be worried about? Almost all of our school either already knows or just assumes that I'm bisexual. Or gay." I added, thinking of Justin. After a moment, I shook my head and continued. "Point is, I have no reputation to protect. I would love to be seen with you, hang out with you, and be known as yours. It was you I was worried about. I was worried you wouldn't want to be seen with me; that you wouldn't want to be known as 'the gay emo kid's boyfriend'."

Ashley leaned over and kissed my nose. "Baby, I told you I was done with my reputation a long time ago. It was you who was worried about it. But if Justin gets suspended, we wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. Everyone would know that you're mine and I'm yours."

"Really?" I asked, looking into Ashley's deep brown eyes.

"Really."

_**Ashley's point of view**_

After our talk about going public, Andy and I worked on our English assignment together and then cuddled on his bed for a bit. It was really nice, holding Andy in my arms while we talked about anything and everything. We were in the middle of talking about Batman when I heard soft snores coming from my chest where he lay. I had looked down at him, and saw that he was fast asleep. I had smiled and gently removed myself from beneath him, then kissed his forehead before climbing back out the window.

Now, I was laying in my bed staring up at the ceiling. It was 5am, but I still couldn't sleep; I was too happy. Tomorrow, Justin may end up getting suspended and then I could finally start living my new life as Andy's boyfriend.

_A/N: I know that took forever to write and it's such a crappy chapter! I'm sorry. :( But like always, comment on it! Tell me what you like and dont like! I can only improve if I know what I'm doing wrong. Love you all! See you in the next chapter! xoxo_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Ashley's point of view**_

After much begging, I finally managed to convince Andy to drive me to school. It wasn't because I didn't mind walking of course; I've been walking to school for years, it was just because I wanted to spend as much time with him possible. The ride to school was quiet, even though I tried to make conversation with him all the way there. I could tell he was still worrying about Justin.

"Andy baby, how many times do I have to tell you that I don't care about Justin seeing us together?" I said finally as we pulled into the parking lot. He didn't reply; he just stared straight ahead, an unreadable expression on his face. He pulled into an empty parking space and killed the engine.

"I know you don't Ashy. But how many times do I have to tell you that I care? You have no idea how badly you would get hurt." He whispered, still not looking at me. I laughed.

"Andy," I began, but he quickly interrupted me.

"No Ashley, don't 'Andy' me. Don't you remember his threat? He has no problem turning against you. At all. And that was only if you befriended me. Imagine what he'd do to you if he found out we were..." He trailed off. I was silent for a moment; I didn't know what to say to put him at ease. It was true, Justin would lose his shit if he found out Andy and I were dating.

"You've seen how bad I get it already. But, you were his best friend for years. I'm just so scared you'll get it ten times worse, and I don't want to be the reason you get hurt." He said, looking at me with pleading eyes, begging me to understand. I saw tears glistening in his eyes and sighed.

"I know baby. But soon, we won't have to worry about Justin." I replied, taking his hand in mine.

"Maybe," Andy muttered before grabbing his bag from the back seat and stepping out of the car.

I groaned and copied him. As we were walking towards the entrance to the school, I tried slipping my hand into Andy's, but he quickly pulled his hand away from mine and shoved them in his pockets.

"Anndyy." I whined. He just shook his head without looking at me.

"Not now Ashley." He muttered under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear. "And if Justin sees us walking together, punch me or something. Pretend you're beating me up."

That took me off guard, and I stopped suddenly in my tracks.

"N-no. What the fuck Andy?" I stuttered, staring at him in shock and disbelief.

"Look Ashley. I can handle a beating, I've been getting picked on for years."

"Yes! But never from me!" I cried.

"Well you've had no problem with it before. You haven't done shit about it before. Why start now? Might as well just join in." Andy said harshly before walking off.

"Andy wait!" I called, starting to go after him. A heavy hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned around and came face to face with Sandra.

"Let him go Ashley." She said with a small, sad smile on her face.

"But," I began, trying to go after him again.

"No," Sandra said, holding me back. "He's in one of his moods. You need to just let him chill on his own. He'll come around."

I sighed and stopped fighting her.

"Good. What's got him so worked up anyway?" She asked, letting go of my shoulder.

I paused. Did Andy want his friends to know we were dating?

_I really don't see a problem with his best friends knowing, and I don't think he would either... But he should be the one to tell them. _I thought to myself.

"Ashley?" Sandra said after a moment of silence. I shook my head and turned my focus back on her.

"Oh, yeah sorry. Uhm, it's about the whole me being friends with you guys thing. He... He doesn't want to see me get hurt when Justin finds out." I responded after a moment.

"Understandable." She replied, nodding her head slowly.

"No, not understandable. How many times do I have to tell you guys that I don't give a flying fuck about Justin or my reputation? They can fucking suck my-"

"Ashley." Sandra said, cutting me off. "I know you don't care. We all know that. But he does. He cares about you Ashley. He just doesn't want to see you get hurt, and he has a reason to be worried. He's been getting the worst from Justin for years."

"I know." I sighed, a little bit exasperated. "But he fucking asked me to beat him up if we ran into Justin while talking to each other! Don't you think that's being a bit... I don't know... Fucking stupid? I mean... He cares about me. I fucking get it; he doesn't want to see me get hurt. I understand that. But I fucking care about him too! Doesn't anyone realise this? What makes you think that I want to see him hurt... Especially by my hands!"

Sandra sighed. "Ashley calm down. Andy's just like that. He's always been like that. He always puts friends before himself, no matter what. He doesn't think he's important or worth anything or anyone. Do you know why he gets picked on more than anyone?"

I was stunned. Andy actually thinks that about himself? He's always seemed so confident, so sure of himself. I mutely shook my head to Sandra's question.

"When we all first started high school, Justin used to pick on all of us pretty equally. CC got it pretty bad one time, and that's when Andy decided that he had enough of that shit. He went up to Justin and acted like a complete ass; mocking and making fun of Justin, making sure he pissed off Justin enough to become the main target. He did it so he wouldn't see us get hurt quite as often."

I didn't reply; I didn't know what to say. I always thought Andy was picked on the most because he was an easy target, not because he made sure it was him and not his friends. I felt myself tearing up a bit and coughed awkwardly just as the bell went.

"Come on, we better get to Maths," Sandra said quietly with a small smile. I just nodded and followed her, not caring if anyone saw me with her.

_**Andy's point of view**_

I know I was a little harsh on Ashley, but I had to make him understand. He couldn't be seen with me, he just couldn't. It wasn't as simple as just saying, 'Fuck it with my reputation, I'm friends with the Outcasts and I'm dating Andy Biersack!' He'd get his ass kicked. And it would be because of me. I wasn't worth him getting hurt.

For the good part of the morning, I completely zoned out in all of my classes. I didn't even respond to any of Ashley's texts. I was just too worried about what I would have to do after Chemistry.

At lunch, I could tell CC wasn't feeling any better than me; he sat there in complete silence, pushing around the food on his plate instead of shoving it hungrily in his mouth like he usually did. I silently got my food that I'd never eat and sat beside him. After about ten minutes of not talking with the rest of our friends, Jake cleared his throat.

"What's with you guys? Andy, you're usually silent, but you look terrified to death. And CC, we can never usually get you to shut up."

CC didn't look up from his plate of food. Was he seriously going to make me tell them? I kicked him lightly under the table, but he didn't even look up. He just continued pushing his food. I sighed heavily.

"Our Chemistry teacher is making us go to the office after class to report the bullying." I muttered without looking up.

"Well that's good!" Sandra exclaimed, grabbing my hand. She paused for a second and quickly pulled her hand away, awkwardly looking down.

"Yeah, sure. If they do something about it. If not, we're dead." CC said, looking up.

"CC, buddy, don't worry. They'll do something about it. How could they not?" Jinxx asked.

My phone vibrated and I pulled it out of my pocket, ignoring Jake's mutter of agreement.

_Hey Andy. You don't have to respond I guess, but I've decided I'm coming with you to the office, as support. Or backup if you need it. Principal knows me and Justin are friends, he'll believe me if he doesn't believe you._

I looked back up with my friends as Jinxx was finishing his sentence.

"Besides, they can't not believe the five of us."

"Five?" CC asked, looking at Jinxx.

"We're coming with you." Jake responded before Jinxx could.

I cut CC's protest off. "Six. Ashley said he's coming too."

I ignored the mix of shocked looks and cheers my friends gave me and replied to Ashley's text.

… _You have no idea how much that would actually mean to me babe. I'm so sorry for the way I've behaved today. It's just… I don't know. I'm not worth you getting beat up. I'm not worth your pain. It's not worth it. I'm not worth it._

I sighed and sent it. I returned back to pushing around my uneaten food and waited for his reply. It came not even five seconds later.

_You're honestly a fucking idiot baby; of course you're worth it. And fyi, it hurts me more than Justin ever could when you say you're not. I'll meet you after you Chemistry class, kay?_

I sighed and was about to pocket my phone when it vibrated again, showing that I had another text from Ash.

_Oh, and stupid? I miss you. :) xoxo_

I smiled and turned to CC, who was still looking down at _his_ uneaten food.

"Buddy," I muttered quietly so that only he could hear me. He nodded once to show he was listening. "It'll be fine. I promise. So eat, or you'll be hungry later and I'll never hear the fucking end of it."

He looked up at me, and I gave him a grin. He grinned back and started shoveling his food into his mouth. Yup, our CC was back.

All throughout Chemistry, I was sending worried looks to CC, texting Ashley, and staring at the clock. However, this was the first time that the minutes seemed to go by like seconds instead of the other way around. I just didn't want this class to end, ever.

But it did, and Mr Norman was waiting for CC and myself at the front of the class once the bell rang. I could tell CC didn't want to do this either, as he was moving as slowly as humanly possible to pack up his stuff even though he barely had anything out. I heard Mr Norman sadly chuckle from the front as he watched us.

"Guys, I know you don't want to do this, but it'd be easier just to get it over with, don't you think? Plus the outcome will be good. You both wont have to worry about the bullying anymore."

"That's what you think." I muttered to myself as I swung my backpack over my right shoulder and pulled out my phone to send a quick text to Ashley.

_We're leaving now. You know where my Chem class is?_

I kept my phone in my hand as I slowly walked to the front, CC not far behind. My phone buzzed.

_Yeah, see you in a few seconds. And stop stressing baby! It'll be fine, promise._

I smiled a little, nerves still making my stomach tie itself painfully in knots, and pocketed my phone.

"Sir," CC said slowly, a little unsure of himself. "We asked a few friends to come along to back us up… I hope that's okay?"

"Are they getting bullied too?" He asked us sadly.

CC and I nodded. "All but one," I added softly.

"Then yes," Mr Norman said, looking from myself to CC. "It'd be best if they came along. Will they meet us there?"

I shook my head.

"They should be waiting outside our classroom actually." CC muttered, looking down at his boots.

Mr Norman nodded, grabbed his bag from his desk and started towards the door, looking back once to see if we were following, which we weren't. He gave us an encouraging smile.

"Come on guys, it wont be as horrible as you think."

CC and I looked at each other with wide eyes, sighed, and started to follow Mr Norman out the door. Sure enough, all our friends were waiting outside, including Ashley. I looked around me quickly, and after seeing that no one was around except for my friends and Mr Norman, I threw myself into Ashes' arms. He giggled slightly when my surprise hug nearly knocked him over, and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hey Brighteyes, everything will be okay." He whispered in my ear, rubbing my back gently to try and calm me down.

"I'm really scared Ashley," I muttered into his hair. He just nodded and continued rubbing my back until someone let out an awkward cough. I froze and pulled back from Ashley slowly; I had forgotten there were other people here.

I looked over at my group of friends and smiled sheepishly. CC grinned and Jake let out a wolf whistle. Jinxx didn't say or do anything for a moment, but then his face broke out into a large smile.

"Wait," He started, his smile growing larger. "Are you guys… Official?"

I looked down at the floor, finding an interesting speck of dust right by my left boot. I felt my cheeks heat up and looked over at Ashley, who was already looking at me, asking permission with my eyes. I grabbed his hand and intertwined his fingers in mine.

"Yes." I replied, smiling slightly, still really embarrassed and never taking my eyes off of Ashley. "He asked me to be his boyfriend last night after our date."

"Aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh." Jinxx, CC, and Jake said all at once. Mr Norman stood there grinning and Sandra didn't say a word.

Ashley looked over at the group and smiled. "I'm here for moral support. And if for some reason the principle doesn't believe you guys, he might believe me because they know I am, sorry _was,_ friends with Justin."

Mr Norman stopped grinning. "Justin? As in Justin Kellond?" He asked.

We all nodded. I looked at him wearily as he sighed.

"I should have guessed. I've had issues with him in the past; Acting out in class, teasing kids, the list goes on. I have had to send him to the office in the past for his behavior, but I've never thought he's actually gone to the point of threatening other people."

"And carrying out the threats," Sandra muttered quietly to herself. Mr Norman heard her.

"What do you mean by that?" Mr Norman asked, turning to her. Sandra blushed and looked away. She obviously thought her comment would go unnoticed. To my surprise, I spoke up when she stayed silent.

"Nearly almost threat he's ever made to us, he's carried out. Like, beating us up for example. We've all had a few run-ins with him."

Mr Norman had a clear look of shock on his face. "He- He's b-beat you up before?" He stuttered.

I just nodded and looked back down at the ground.

"It's one of his favourite things to do. He loves picking on them, especially Andy." Ashley said, whispering the last part quietly.

Mr Norman didn't say anything. I peeked at him from under my fringe and saw him staring at me, his eyes full of pity. I dropped my gaze back to the dust speck on the ground.

"Right, okay." Mr Norman said after a moment. "We're going to the office."

The seven of us walked to the office in silence, my hand never leaving Ashley's. I didn't care who saw, or who knew at this point, because in all honesty, all I could think about was what was going to happen. I started shaking slightly in fear and nervousness. Ashley squeezed my hand lightly and started rubbing circles on it with his thumb.

"It's fine Andy, I'm right here. We all are. It's okay baby. It'll be okay." He whispered over and over again in my ear to try and calm me. He continued for the entire walk, and it was working until he reached the doors to the office.

"I can't do this Ashley." I moaned quietly. "What if they don't do anything about it? What if nothing happens to Justin? Me and my friends would get it ten times worse that we do now. I wouldn't be able to handle that. Worst of all though, he'll somehow find out that you were involved. He'll hurt you. I can't risk that Ashley. I cannot do this."

He turned to the rest of our group that were standing at the door waiting for us.

"You guys go ahead. We'll be right in." He said, giving them a small smile. The nodded and followed Mr Norman into the office. Ashley watched them until the door closed, and then turned to me.

"Andy. You can do this. If you wont do it for yourself, do it for your friends, for me. For us. Andy, if you wont do it for anything else, do it for us." He said, hugging me tightly. I melted in his grasp and let out a strangled sigh as I tried not to burst into tears. Ashley just hugged me tighter until I regained my composition. I slowly let go and looked into his eyes.

"Okay," I whispered quietly. He smiled and grabbed my hand. Together, we walked into the office; ready to face whatever the future would throw our way.

_**Ashley's point of view**_

Once I calmed Andy down enough, we walked into the office, hand in hand. When we got in, we saw Sandra, Jinxx, CC and Jake sitting on chairs in front of the main desk. I sat down next to Jake and Andy sat slowly beside me, still holding tightly onto my hand.

"Where's Mr Norman?" I asked Jake quietly. I've always felt really awkward talking louder than a whisper in the office, yet I have no idea why.

"Went to go talk to the principal first." Jake replied, mimicking my whisper. If it was just because I was whispering or because he felt awkward too, I didn't know. We fell into a nervous silence and for the next five or ten minutes I sat, holding Andy's hand tightly in mine, listening to one of the secretary type away on her computer.

Finally, the door to the principal's office opened and Mr Norman and Mr Wallace, the principal, walked out.

"Hello," Mr Wallace said, looking over at us. "I'm ready to see you guys now."

I felt Andy tense up beside me and I rubbed circles on the back of his hand with my thumb to try and sooth him. Mr Norman cleared his throat before beginning to speak.

"I have a lot of work to get done, so I need to get going. You guys will be fine." He spoke the last part quietly, looking directly at Andy. Andy just looked at him with fear-filled eyes and nodded slightly. I knew that Mr Norman wouldn't stay; teachers never do once they send you to the office. I would know; I've had my fair share of office trips because of my friendship with Justin.

Mr Wallace waved us into his office, but no one moved. Andy let go of my hand, so I stood up slowly. This seemed to give confidence to the others, as they began to rise one by one. CC and Andy both sighed quietly, and were the last ones to stand. Silently, without looking at one another, we filed into the small office, with Jake in the lead. Once the last of us were seated, Mr Wallace closed the door and made his way over to his chair. He sat and began to look at us individually. Once he got to me, he paused for a second and gave me a small, tired smile.

"Nice to see you again Ashley." He said. It was sarcasm, obviously. My last office visit wasn't all too great, but in my defense, it wasn't entirely my fault. It was Justin who was in the wrong, I just happened to be with him. I returned Mr Wallace's smile.

"So," He began slowly, looking at the seven of us seated in front of his desk. "Mr Norman said you were all here on account of Justin Kellond?"

"Yes sir," CC responded quietly when no one else spoke up.

Mr Wallace nodded. "We've had problems with him in the past. Name-calling, teasing, out-bursts in class. However, Mr Norman said that your situation is different. Can someone explain what he means by this?"

No one said anything; we all exchanged quick, nervous glances. Andy just stared intently at his hands that were in his lap. I cleared my throat.

"Justin has been threatening them, bullying them relentlessly, but the type of bullying he has been doing goes way beyond name-calling. He's even carried through on some of his threats." I responded.

Mr Wallace glanced at me, doubt clouding his grey eyes.

"Have you been apart of this in anyway Ashley? Victim or otherwise?" He asked me. In other words, have I been helping Justin with the bullying and torment.

I shook my head quickly, never breaking eye contact with him.

"No. But I have witnessed it on countless occasions." I said.

"I see. Okay, well what kind of threats exactly?" He asked, looking away from me.

"Threats against our safety." Sandra replied. "Like, threatening to kick the shit out of us."

If Sandra's language bothered Mr Wallace, he didn't show it. "And has he actually done it?"

"Beat us up?" Sandra snorted. "Many times." She crossed her arms across her chest and slumped slightly in her chair, exposing her bandaged hand. Mr Wallace noticed it.

"Is that why your hand is bandaged?" He asked her, nodding towards her injured hand.

She nodded. "I had a run in with him and his friends yesterday while walking to school." She hissed. Since I've been getting along with Sandra lately, I was starting to understand her a bit more. Because of this, I knew that she wasn't mad at Mr Wallace, she was just mad at the whole situation. We all were.

Mr Wallace nodded and turned to Jake and Jinxx. "Does this type of thing happen often?"

Jinxx shrugged, but didn't say anything. Jake was the one who responded.

"Not really to us." He said, looking down at his lap.

"What do you mean?" Mr Wallace asked.

"The four of us, me, Jinxx, Sandra, and CC, don't really get picked on as much anymore. Maybe a few cruel remarks now and then, but never really anything physical." Jake said, still staring at his lap.

"How often would you say?" Mr Wallace asked.

"Barely ever. Yesterday was the first time in like, a month." Sandra replied.

"Andy is the one who gets it the worst." CC said quietly. I looked quickly over at Andy, who was staring at CC in shock.

"The worst?" Mr Wallace repeated, looking over at Andy. Andy dropped his gaze quickly and remained quiet.

"His beatings are more violent, longer, and more frequent. Three times a week, and that's if it's a good week." Jake said.

"What about a bad week?" Mr Norman asked, never looking away from Andy.

"Nearly every day." Sandra responded bluntly. "He's actually the reason we're barely targeted anymore. Andy is Justin's favourite target."

Mr Wallace nodded gravely, and was silent for a moment. "Andy?" He asked finally. Andy looked up slightly; pain and fear clear in his blue eyes. "When was the last time?"

"Monday," Andy whispered after a moment. "Ashley stopped it before it before it progressed into something worse. I only got a few bruises." He looked over at me and gave me a small, barely noticeable smile, which I quickly returned.

"Where are they?" Mr Wallace asked softly, as to not offend or scare Andy. Andy paused for a moment before wiping away the layer of makeup around his cheekbone area. The bruise was barely noticeable before, but now that the makeup was removed, it stood out quiet clearly on his pale face. The dark purple bruise made me feel slightly sick to my stomach and I quickly looked away, tears starting to form in my eyes.

"I have more on my chest and stomach, some of which are healing, and some that are pretty new." Andy whispered, hiding behind his fringe once again.

Mr Wallace nodded gravely and fell silent. After a moment, he let out a long breath and began to speak.

"Thank you for informing me about this, a lot of bullying victims often stay silent in fear. I will need to talk to Justin."

We just nodded. Mr Wallace stood up, indicating that the meeting was over. I stood up and walked towards the door, the others following suit. We all walked out, and Mr Wallace walked over to the main desk where his secretary was still typing away at her computer.

"Can you please call Justin Kellond to the office Anna?" Mr Wallace asked her when she looked up from her work. She nodded once and picked up the phone.

"Justin Kellond to the office, Justin Kellond to the office." She said over the intercom. Mr Wallace thanked her and turned back to us.

"Thank you again." He said, giving us a smile before returning to his office. Anna began to type on her computer again. CC and Andy gave each other a look, and began to walk out of the office.

"Come on guys," CC said over his shoulder. "We better leave before Justin gets here."

The remaining four of us looked at each other, Jake giving a shrug, and followed the other two out.

_**Andy's point of view**_

Like Ashley promised, the meeting wasn't all that bad, but at the same time, it was horrible. Justin was going to find out that Ashley was with us, and because of that, Ashley was going to get hurt. Worst still, it'd be my fault.

Since there was only about twenty minutes left of class, we all decided to just skip. Normally, we'd just go back to my place or whatever since we all have spare together, but Jake, Jinxx, and CC wanted to stay to see if anything would happen to Justin today.

We were sitting at my lockers, talking about nothing, when Ashley's phone rang. He let go of my hand to pull it out of his pocket. As he was reading, a huge smile appeared on his face.

"What is it?" I asked, trying to see the message. He turned the phone towards me so I could read it. It was from Justin.

_Those fcking faggots got me suspended for a week. i swear they are dead._

I nearly dropped Ashley's phone in shock.

_It… It actually worked?_

"What is it Andy?" CC asked.

"It worked." I whispered. My friends looked at me in confusion while my boyfriend gave me a huge smile, pocketing his phone.

"It worked!" I laughed. "We got him suspended for a week!"

"Seriously?" Jake asked.

I nodded happily, laughing, and gave Ashley a huge, grateful hug. CC cheered and Jinxx laughed with me.

_I can't believe it actually worked. _I thought, still happily numb from shock.

"Hey baby, I'll be right back. I gotta pee." Ashley said. He gave me a quick kiss on the nose before getting up and walking to the bathroom. I watched him walk away until he turned a corner.

"I'm so happy for you two Andy," CC said with a smile. I turned back to him and smiled.

"Thanks!" I replied cheerfully.

"You two really are cute together." Sandra said quietly. I looked over at her, and she forced a smile. It worried me a little bit, but I selfishly decided to ignore it. I didn't want to worry about anything right now because I was so happy.

We continued talking and joking around, waiting for Ashley to get back from the bathroom so all of us could go back to my place and hang out, when we heard a huge bang from around the corner, making me jump. We quickly turned our heads to where the sound had come from.

"What the fuck?" Jinxx muttered. We heard a loud curse, followed by another bang, like something hitting a locker.

We continued watching, only to see Justin storm around the corner, carrying his backpack in one hand. He spotted me and started walking quickly in my direction.

"You fucking faggot." He screamed. When he reached me, he grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me to my feet. I swallowed hard.

"Get the fuck away from him!" Sandra shouted, jumping to her feet. Justin let go of my shirt.

"You stay the fuck out of this, cunt. But don't worry, you're next." Justin hissed, pushing her hard. The shove caused her to stumble and fall, smashing her head against the floor.

"Hey!" I blurted out. In anger, I swung my fist wildly, surprised when I actually felt it make contact with his jaw. The impact took Justin by surprised and he stumbled back a bit, but he quickly regained his footing. He lunged towards me, grabbing my shirt again.

"Stop it ass hole!" CC shouted. "Why do you think you got fucking suspended in the first place?"

"Stay out of this CC." I said, staring into Justin's eyes. Justin grinned, his eyes flashing in anger.

"Yeah '_CC', _listen to your boyfriend." He hissed, never looking away from me.

"No Andy!" Jake said, jumping at Justin. Jake's fist connected with Justin's jaw in the same place mine had. Justin let go of me for the second time and turned towards Jake, who was glaring at Justin.

"Get the fuck out of here," Jake spat. Justin just laughed.

"Or what?" He mocked. I took in the scene before me. CC was kneeling beside Sandra, who was leaning against the lockers, her eyes half closed as she held her head. Jake and Jinxx were standing side by side, staring at Justin, their fists clenched in anger.

"Or this!" Jake screamed, throwing another punch. Justin caught Jake's fist mid-air and returned the punch, sending Jake flying against the locker.

"Stop!" I yelled. "Jinxx! No!"

Jinxx looked at me for a split second, and his hesitation gave Justin the perfect opportunity to punch him in the gut. Jinxx doubled-over, gasping for breath, and earned a kick in the stomach.

"Stay down, fag." Justin laughed. He turned back to me, grabbing my shirt once again. "Because of you, I got suspended. Just for that, you were going to get it worse than you ever have before. But because your little friends intervened," He smiled at me, causing me to shudder in fear. "You're going to wish you were dead."

I closed my eyes, trying to prepare myself for the pain. It never came.

I felt Justin get torn away from me, and I opened my eyes. Ashley had pulled Justin away from me and was now delivering a punch to Justin's face. It hit him square in the nose and I heard a crack.

"Stay the fuck away from them." Ashley hissed, letting go of Justin.

"Ashley?" Justin asked, looking slightly confused. A second later, the confusion was replaced by a look of pure anger. "You… I always knew you were a little faggot."

"Damn right." Ashley shot back. "They're twice the man that you'll ever be. And I'm including Sandra in this."

Justin let out a growl and lunged towards Ashley, which Ashley easily dodged. The bell signaling the end of third period rang out and kids began to file out of their classrooms. A small circle formed around us when curious kids noticed the scene. Justin looked around, noticing a few teachers leaving the classrooms as well.

"This isn't over Purdy." Justin hissed quietly, blood dripping slowly from his broken nose.

"Walk away, Kellond. It's over."

Justin glared and turned around. He walked past me, and in the process, shoved me out of the way with his shoulder. It caught me off guard and I staggered back into my locker. Not even a second later, I felt my adrenal rush start to fade and I slid tiredly down my locker, ending up on the floor.

"Andy? Are you okay?" Ashley asked worriedly, rushing over to me. He kneeled in front of me, and I looked up at him. His eyes were full of concern, and I felt myself start to relax as I stared into his warm, brown eyes.

Suddenly, no longer caring that 30 plus kids were watching, I leaned forward quickly and forcefully pressed my lips against Ashley's.

_**A/N: THAT TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE. And I'm also so very sorry it's so long. I just wanted to fit as much as humanly possible into this chapter. :P  
Like always, please comment if you've enjoyed this. Even if you haven't, let me know! Tell me what you think and why! This will only improve my writing skills. Thank you!  
See you guys next chapter! Cheers! xoxo**_


	15. Chapter 15

_Ashley's point of view_

"Andy?" I asked worriedly as Andy slide down his locker tiredly. "Are you okay?" I rushed over to him and kneeled beside him, grabbing his hand tightly with my own. Realising that I was holding his hand in front of all these people, I quickly let go. I didn't care of course, my useless reputation was already in the garbage after I confronted Justin, but Andy did, and he was all that mattered.

He looked up at me, a spark of determination and confidence lighting up his blue eyes like I've never seen before. I started to say something, but before I could even open my mouth, I was stopped by Andy firmly placing his mouth upon mine. My eyes opened wide as I felt his lips move mine and I was in a state of shock when I quickly realised what was happening.

_Andy__Biersack__was kissing me in front of 20+ kids._

_Andy Biersack was fucking kissing me._

I closed my eyes and gently twisted my fingers into his long black hair, pulling him closer to me as I returned the kiss. The kids around us were silent for a moment as we kissed, until the hallway erupted into a mixture of cheers and clapping, and shouts of 'faggot' and 'fucking gross'. Andy and I ignored them all, lost in each other's embrace.

"Purdy! What the fuck?" I heard someone screech from the crowd.

I broke away from Andy and looked over to see Kina, her bright pink lips parted in shock and utter disgust.

"You're fucking cheating on me with a _guy?_" She screamed, storming up to me in her black high heels. Andy gasped when he heard this and pulled away from me so that he was no longer holding onto me.

I looked over at him, trying to plead with him through my eyes. Never looking away from Andy, who was clearly trying to avoid eye contact by looking at his hands, I responded to Kina.

"No." I said coldly. "We broke up Monday night. Or had you forgotten?"

That stopped her in her tracks. "No we fucking didn't." She responded after several seconds of silence.

"Yes, we did." I said calmly, finally looking away from Andy to look at Kina. "You called me that night to yell at me and break up with me when I didn't want to fuck you at lunch."

Silence filled the hallway once more as Kina stuttered over her words, trying to find the appropriate response.

"Y-yeah. Well... I-I, y-you." She paused for a second and looked at me. A slight smile pulling at the corners of her mouth as she finally decided on her reply. "I should have taken that as my first hint that you're just a fucking faggot."

I nodded slightly, allowing an amused look to cross my face. "Yeah, I guess you could have. Or it could have been an indication of what I really think about you."

"Yeah? And what would that be?" She sneered.

Not even a moment passed before I replied. "That you're just a nasty whore."

As soon as the words left my mouth the audience that had formed around us began to make noise. I heard a couple of laughs and mutters of agreement, and I smirked.

Kina, on the other hand, was silent, a look of complete shock on her face. I knew for a fact that no one had ever spoken to her like that before, even though everyone thought it. I could honestly say that I was damn proud of the fact that I was the first one to tell her exactly what everyone was thinking.

"You've... We've... We've had sex before Ash..." She whispered, almost to herself.

I let out a harsh laugh. "Only because you're an easy fuck Kina. I've had sex with you, yes, but so has over half of the student population. Fucking slut."

This time the reaction from the kids surrounding us was more pronounced. Loud, harsh laughter broke out in several places and there was a loud chorus of 'oooooooh' that filled my ears.

Kina, looking about ready to cry, looked around at our audience, clearly seeking out help from her friends. She spotted them almost right away and looked at them, pleading with her eyes. The girls mutely shook their heads, making it quiet clear they didn't want the negative attention, while the guys just laughed. One even muttered, "Slut" under his breath, which earned him a bunch of high-fives and nods of approval. The exchange made me shake my head sadly.

"Yeah, real great friends you have their Kina." I spoke loudly in order to be heard over everyone. At the sound of my voice, the hallway fell silent again. Kina turned to me, tears filling her eyes. "They'd do anything to fit in with the crowd. They'd do anything to remain popular. Even turn against their supposed friends. It's fucking pathetic."

I heard murmurs of agreement coming from some of the unpopular kids in the crowd. A few of the girls that rejected Kina looked down in what I could only assume was embarrassment. The popular guys that I once considered friends chuckled awkwardly. Kyle however, who was my other best friend next to Justin, just rolled his eyes.

"What makes you so great, Purdy? You're just like us, doing anything to save your stupid reputation." He sneered. I laughed in his face and grabbed Andy's hand. I held up our intertwined hands for everyone to see.

"You think this is helping my fucking reputation? You think I'm only dating Andy Biersack to make sure my reputation is intact? If so you're fucking stupid." I paused for a second and looked over and Andy, who was currently hiding behind his hair. I knew he hated this kind of attention and I felt a pang of pure guilt. However, I knew this needed to be done, for us. With my free hand, I lifted up his chin and forced him to look at me. When he finally did, I leaned over and softly pressed my lips to his. When I pulled away, I looked straight at Kyle.

"This is Andy Biersack we're talking about, idiot. He's so fucking unpopular that everyone hates the kid just because it's the "cool" and "accepted" thing to do. How the fuck is dating this beautiful, wonderful guy," I said, turning my attention back to Andy. I stared into his tear-filled eyes as I continued, smiling slightly. "Supposed to help my reputation at all?"

The hallway was silent once again. I took my free hand, the one not holding tightly onto my boyfriend's hand, and brought it up to touch his face lightly. I brought my hand down after a moment and looked coldly at Kyle. "And you know what? I don't give a fuck. I'd rather be known as Ashley, the bisexual, unpopular Outcast than Ashley, man whore, ass hole, and Popular. Fuck my reputation; I don't give a flying fuck about it. I just want to be happy. And he," I said, gesturing to Andy, "And they," I continued, gesturing to Jinxx, Sandra, Jake and CC, "They make me happy."

I looked over at the guys and Sandra and gave them a grin, which they fully and happily returned. I stood up and offered my hands out to Andy to help him up, which he accepted. Once he was standing, I wrapped an arm around his waist and looked at Kyle, then Kina.

"I've made my choice, a choice that I will never, ever regret. So fuck my reputation, and fuck you."

I turned around and walked away towards the parking lot, Andy by my side and my new friends behind us. The group of kids that formed to watch what went on silently parted to let us through. I walked about five paces when I heard someone start slow clapping. A few more students joined in until nearly the whole hallway echoed with clapping and cheers of approval. It was obviously the unpopular people that were showing that they fully supported the fact that I stood up for myself and my happiness, especially because the people I stood up to have bullied and mocked so many of them for so long. However, I couldn't really bring myself to care who started the cheering.

I just knew that I was happy and made the right choice. I glanced over at Andy and he gave me a brilliant smile, squeezing my hand as a way to say thank you.

_- Time lapse; A week –_

After coming out as an openly gay couple, the first couple days were hard for Andy and I. It was mostly the Populars who were trying everything in their power to make our lives miserable, but a few of the other less popular kids joined in as well, to avoid becoming the Populars' next target, which honestly made sense I guess. Another thing that was annoying about the first couple days was Kina. You see, the thing with Kina is she's never been dumped before, or embarrassed in front of loads of people. She's also used to getting her way, no matter what. Now technically, I didn't actually dump her; she broke up with me. However, by rejecting her in front of almost our whole entire school, I had embarrassed her horribly. You could say she didn't take kindly to that fact at all and she was trying desperately to win me back just to prove that she can still have any guy she wanted. At first, she tried being a complete and utter bitch to me. I know what you're thinking – that method seems completely stupid when trying to win someone back, but I never said Kina was smart. To her, being a bitch to someone is "playing hard to get".

When she realised that that wasn't working, she ignored me for the rest of the week; no longer making sarcastic and bitchy remarks whenever she saw me, ignoring me in the halls, and all that great stuff. In fact, it was pretty fantastic. It was like she never existed, which made it a lot easier to enjoy my time with Andy.

Unfortunately, when that didn't work either, she went with a different, much more disturbing method. I learned this horrible fact Wednesday at lunch, exactly a week after Justin got suspended and Andy and I came out as a couple.

"Aren't you going to eat that instead of pushing it around your plate?" I jokingly asked Andy after watching him push around his uneaten food for five minutes. He shrugged.

"I'm not hungry." He muttered without looking at me. I just shrugged and continued eating my own lunch.

"Guys," Sandra said suddenly after dramatically slamming down her lunch tray, causing CC to jump nearly a foot in the air at the loud bang.

"Holy fucking hell! Where the fuck did you come from?" CC asked, grabbing his chest as Jake nearly fell off the bench from laughing. Sandra ignored them both and looked at me.

"Ash, your ex girlfriend has gone completely nuts."

I just laughed, not thinking anything of it. "She's always been completely nuts Sandra."

She shook her head frantically. "No. I mean it. She's lost it. Completely."

I opened my mouth to respond when Jinxx's cry of shock and disgust cut me off.

"What the actual flying fuck." He muttered. I quickly looked in the direction he was looking and my mouth dropped.

Kina was walking down the hall towards us, holding her lunch tray in front of her, but that wasn't the reason the six of us stared at her, open-mouthed.

Kina, who usually wore stupidly short skirts, tight tank tops that barely contained her boobs, and ridiculous shoes, was wearing tight, black skinny jeans with rips in the knees and a ripped up black SOAD t-shirt. Around her waist hung two belts; a black and silver studded one that actually went through the belt-loops of her jeans, and another black one that had a bunch of chains hanging off it that hugged her hips loosely. She also traded her usual pink high heels for black, just below the knee, combat boots.

If her change of clothing wasn't weird enough, it was nothing compared to her new piercings. Before, Kina only had each of her ears pierced once, and that was it. Now though? Her ears were almost covered with new piercings.

In the first hole on both of her ears she wore 14 g stretchers, but whether they were real or fake, I couldn't tell. On her left ear, she had silver studs in her second and third ear piercings, her anti-tragus done, and her helix done, in which she had a captive bead hoop. Her right ear, she still had her second and third holes pierced, but only the third hole contained the silver stud. In her second hole, she had in a chained cuff, where the stud was silver, and contained two chains, one black and the other silver, connecting to a simple, silver cuff that she had attached where a helix piercing would be. Hanging on the chain was black and silver crosses. In that same ear, she also had her tragus done, and her rook done.

And that's not all she decided to get pierced apparently, because she had a black nose hoop going through her left nostril, a black lip piercing on the right side, and an eyebrow piercing, which located on her right eyebrow.

To top it all off, she had dyed her platinum blonde hair jet black with large, noticeable blue streaks. What. The. Fuck.

"Hey boys," Kina purred when she got close enough to our table. When she opened her mouth to talk, I could see she also decided to get her tongue pierced. That fact was also evident by the sudden appearance of a lisp, which was no doubt caused by her swollen tongue.

"Hey Ashley," She said, the corners of her black and blood red lips curving up into a slight smile. She looked at me, batting her eyelashes. Normally she wore minimal purple eye shadow, and a lot of too-dark foundation, but today she obviously wanted to do something different. Today, her dark blue eyes were lined with heavy black eyeliner, her eyelids covered with black eye shadow, and her face was lightly covered with a lighter shade of foundation. The foundation made her look paler, which just made her black lined eyes pop. In a strange way, she looked beautiful. Which, I guessed, was exactly what she wanted me to think.

"Kina." I said finally, looking back down at my food and pointedly grabbing Andy's hand. From the corner of my eye, I saw Kina's smile falter a bit when she noticed mine and Andy's hands were intertwined.

"How are you?" She asked, leaning against her left hand that she put on the lunch table. She was clearly trying to ignore the fact that I was ignoring her. I shrugged but didn't respond. Then I noticed something more disturbing and more disgusting than her obvious need for attention. Underneath the multiple purple, blue, and black bracelets, thin red lines covered her wrist.

"Kina. What the fuck is this?" I asked, disgust clear in my voice.

She gave me a confused look. "What's what?"

I let go of Andy's hand and grabbed her wrist, pulling aside the bracelets. Once the cuts were blatantly visible, I pointed at her wrist.

"This shit." I said.

Kina looked down in shock at her wrist and back up at me before forcefully pulling her wrist away. She looked down at her feet before answering.

"Nothing." She muttered.

"Nothing? It's obviously something." I said, struggling to keep myself from shouting and drawing attention to us.

Kina didn't say anything, which only made me angrier.

"Look. I don't know what you're trying to accomplish by dressing like this," I started, pointedly waving my hand across her clothing. "But it's pathetic. That's not even the point though. The point is, I know a lot of people think that if people dress the way, they're automatically suicidal and a freak."

Again, Kina didn't say anything. She just looked away, but not before I noticed the tears forming in her eyes.

"It's pathetic Kina. People only self-harm for attention. The end. All this bullshit about people doing it because it "helps them" and because "it's better than feeling the emotional pain" is just that – bullshit. I know you're an attention seeking whore Kina, everyone knows it. But I NEVER thought you'd stoop to this level of stupidity. Get the fuck out of my sight."

_**Andy's point of view**_

Each time Ashley said something else, his words cut deeper into my heart. By the end of his rant, I actually had to dig my nails into my wrist to keep myself from bursting into tears.

"Get the fuck out of my sight." Ashley snapped, turning back to his food. Kina stood in complete shock, not even bothering to hide the tears that were smudging her thick eyeliner and streaming down her face. Slowly, she turned and walked quickly away. Ashley sighed heavily, still obviously pissed off. He turned to me and gave me a small smile. He tried intertwining his fingers with mine, but I quickly pulled away. A look of confusion and hurt crossed his face, but I was too busy trying not to cry to really notice.

I stood up quickly. "I have to go to the bathroom." I mumbled thickly before walking off. I stumbled towards the bathroom, not really caring who I ran into. Mutters of, "watch it faggot," sounded when I crashed my way through a group of girls, but I just kept walking. Finally, I made it to the bathroom and locked myself into a stall. I barely got the door closed and locked before the tears escaped my eyes. Choking back a sob, I punched the stall wall, barely feeling the sharp pain that shot through my hand. That pain, and the extremely brief relief it brought with it, made my wrist start to itch, begging for my razor.

I quickly shook the idea from my head, letting myself fall against the wall and slide down to the floor. Ashley thought what I did to help me cope with all my stresses was pathetic. No, he thought I was pathetic. And maybe I was, for doing this to myself.

I always told myself that I wasn't one of the people who cut for attention, that I actually needed it to help me through the pain that life sometimes brought, but after what Ashley said, I questioned even that.

_Was I actually an attention seeking idiot? _I asked myself.

_No, you're not. _Said the part of my brain that was still thinking properly. I don't think very highly of myself at all, but one thing I knew for a fact was that I wasn't attention seeking. If I were, I wouldn't force myself to wear a long sleeve shirt during stupidly hot days. If I were, more than one person would know. If I were, Ashley would know.

At the thought of Ashley, I felt myself getting mad. He says he cares about me, but he clearly doesn't because if he did, he would be able to see that I wasn't okay. He would be able to tell that I starve myself and I mutilate my body. He would be able to see through the defenses I put up and the lies I tell. But he doesn't.

"Ashley's fucking wrong." I darkly muttered to no one but myself. "Not everyone cuts for attention."

But however wrong Ashley was about that fact, he was right about one thing; Kina was an attention seeking slut, and I fucking knew that fact right from the moment Ashley and I came out. Everyone knew it, and she made it painfully obvious. For one, right after she found out Ash and I were together, she made a point of making a huge scene in front of everyone and being a fucking cunt whenever she saw him just to try and get his attention. Then, when she realised that that wasn't working, she tried ignoring him. Ashley was overly excited when she started doing this because he thought that she finally got bored and moved on. I knew different however, because although he didn't notice the little, annoying things she did, I did. I noticed every single glance she made in his direction, noticed whenever she leaned over to whisper something to her friend whenever Ashley was near, noticed that she would laugh extra loud and act extra perky whenever she realised Ashley was in ear shot.

So because of this, I knew for a fact that the only reason Kina was cutting herself was to try and get Ashley's attention. Not only that, but I saw the cuts on her wrist too; and while mine were jagged, deep and ugly, hers looked like she took a pin and lightly scratched herself. I would be willing to bet anything that her little "cutting session" barely bled at all. Not like mine.

I was so lost in my dark thoughts that I didn't even hear someone come into the bathroom until I heard the sound of boots against the school floor. I covered my mouth to try and muffle the sounds of my sobs and listened intently to the sound of someone walk hesitantly into the bathroom.

"Andy?" Jinxx called out. I sighed in relief because Jinxx knew exactly what I was going through, and as much as I hated talking about my feelings and shit, I knew that I had to in order to keep myself from going back to the razor.

_**A/N: And that's chapter fifteen. I know it took a really long time for me to update, and I don't even have a good excuse like being too busy or whatever, I've just been feeling so lazy. :P**_

_**I just want to make this super clear right now: I do not share Ashley's opinion about self-harm. I know that although some people do hurt themselves for attention, not everyone does and those people actually go through so much trouble to hide the fact that they do that to themselves. I also know that cutting is a way to help people through tough, emotional times. I know that some people use it as a release, and that it actually helps people deal with the overwhelming emotional pain that they are going through by turning it into physical pain, which is much easier to deal with in some ways. I just wanted to make this super clear. :)**_

_**Anyways… Like always: Tell me what you think! Did you love it? Hate it? Was it so bad that you wanted to punch your computer screen and toss it out the window? Let me know! Any feedback, positive or negative, helps me become such a better writer. **_

_**I would also like to take this time to thank all my lovely readers. I love you all. 3**_

_**See you next chapter! xoxo**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

_****_ I watched Andy nearly run away from our table and out of the courtyard. I watched him with a confused look on my face. I turned towards the guys and Sandra.

"Uh, what just happened?" I asked.

"Dunno." CC said. His mouth was full of food, but somehow he still managed to mirror my confused expression. I looked at Jake and Sandra, and they both shrugged. I looked at Jinxx, hoping that he would have the answer, but he refused to meet my eyes.

"Jinxx?" I asked slowly. "Did I do something wrong?"

Jinxx shrugged. "He..." He started, but then trailed off frowning.

"Uh, should I go talk to him?" I asked when Jinxx remained silent.

"No." Jinxx said coldly, suddenly standing up. He looked at me with accusing eyes. "Honestly Ashley, you've done enough damage already. I'll go talk to him." And with one last cold look, he stalked off.

_What the fuck?_

I looked back at CC, Jake, and Sandra who were looking between Jinxx's retreating figure and me.

"Uh... did I miss something?" He asked me. I shook my head, dumbstruck.

"Apparently we all did." I replied softly.

_**Andy's Point of View**_

"He thinks I'm pathetic." I sobbed to Jinxx.

Five minutes ago, Jinxx had knocked harshly on the stall door, begging for me to open the door.

"Andy, please open the door." He had begged me. I had sniffed loudly and crawled over to the door, reaching up to unlock it before retreating back to leaning against the wall.

"Hi Jinxxy." I had said sadly, wiping my nose on the sleeve of my shirt.

"Oh thank fuck." He had muttered, dropping to his knees in front of me. "I thought you were cutting."

Now, he was sitting beside me on the cold, tiled floor, one arm wrapped around my shoulders as I cried heavily into his chest.

"He doesn't..." Jinxx said, trailing off. His voice sounded doubtful, and I knew he was only saying that to try and make me feel better. It wasn't working.

"Yes he does!" I cried while a new wave of tears poured down my face, soaking Jinxx's shirt. "He said that people who self harm are pathetic and are only doing it for attention!"

"Well he's wrong." Jinxx said between clenched teeth. His anger towards Ashley suddenly made me mad. I pulled away from his friendly embrace and looked at him.

"Well of course he's fucking wrong! I know I'm not an attention seeker, but the fact that we know he's wrong doesn't fucking solve anything." I nearly shouted.

"Andy, calm down." Jinxx said evenly, not even a little bit shocked at my random and seemingly sudden outburst. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that just because we know he's wrong doesn't mean he realises he's wrong. We know I'm not slicing my skin open for attention, that's great. But so fucking what?" I replied, blatantly refusing to calm down. "Ash still thinks that everyone who cuts is an attention seeking idiot. How the fuck am I ever supposed to tell him that I self harm Jinxx? He won't understand. He'll just leave me and fucking hate me."

Jinxx sat in silence, looking down to his boots thoughtfully. I took a deep breath, and let it out in a loud sigh.

"He's supposed to be my boyfriend, Jinxxy. He says he cares a lot about me. So how come he can't see that I'm slowly falling apart?" I whispered.

Jinxx shook his head sadly and looked up at me. His eyes were filled with sadness and pity.

"Because you're too good at pretending."

_**Ashley's point of view**_

"Maybe I should go see if he's okay." I said suddenly, putting both my hands on the table in order to push myself up. Sandra reached across the table to stop me.

"No Ashley. Remember how he is sometimes. The best things to do is to just… Let him figure it out on his own." She said softly.

I frowned. "But he's my boy-" I stopped myself when I saw Sandra's face fall. I sighed; I didn't want to seem like I was rubbing it in because I knew how much Sandra liked Andy, but he was my boyfriend, and I had to be there for him.

"I'm sorry guys. I'll see you later." I said softly as I gently pulled my arm away from Sandra's and pushed myself up.

"Good luck Ashley." I heard CC call from behind me. I paused and turned slightly, giving them a small smile and slightly awkward wave. I looked at Sandra, and she just gave me a small shrug before looking back down at her food.

I turned back around and started walking towards the bathroom. The short walk down the hall seemed so long, especially because the people I used to consider friends kept giving me dirty looks and calling me a 'filthy faggot'. I tried to ignore it for the most part, but I knew I would be lying if I said that it didn't somewhat bother me. No wonder Sandra, Jinxx, Jake, CC, and Andy were so bitter to everyone outside of their group; the constant negative attention fucking sucked. Although, I knew what I was getting myself into when I started hanging around with the Outcasts and started dating Andy, I never knew that the bullying would bother me as much as it did.

I turned around a corner and stopped dead in my tracks. There, leaning against a locker surrounded by a group of my old friends, was Justin.

"Fuck." I whispered to myself. In my happiness, and then concern for what the fuck I did to upset Jinxx and Andy, I had completely forgotten that Justin was coming back today. I looked from Justin, who hadn't noticed me yet, and the bathroom. As much as I wanted to avoid Justin, I wanted to comfort my boyfriend more. At the thought of Andy, I squared my shoulders and lifted my head high. I hadn't even taken four steps before Justin's grey eyes flickered in my direction, but then move back away. For a moment, I thought he was just going to completely ignore me, but then his eyes flashed back towards me and rested on my face.

Justin's lips lifted in a snarl, but I kept walking, determined to pass him without conflict in order to get to Andy.

"Faggot." Justin whispered as I passed him, but other than that, he made no other attempt to emotionally or physically hurt me.

I knew it wasn't because he had changed, or that he just wants to drop things between us and pretend like I don't exist. I knew better than that. It was only because it was lunch hour and the teachers that were monitoring the halls were watching him like a hawk due to his recent suspension. I knew that as soon things calmed down a bit, Justin would attack.

Despite the fact that fear tugged at my heart, I couldn't help but laugh at the thought I just had.

"'Justin would attack?'" I quietly snickered to myself. "You're making it seem like he's some sort of monster and you're his prey."

_But, _a small part of my brain whispered. _Maybe that's exactly the situation you're in. You've always known that Justin was a cold-hearted bully. Some would even say he's a monster. And you're his new target._

_**Jinxx's Point of View**_

Holding Andy in my arms while he cried ripped my heart apart. He was one of my best friends, almost like a brother, and I hated to see him hurting. Each time he sniffled, I felt my heart tear a little more. And suddenly I just felt angry. Angry with Andy for doing this to himself, angry with myself for not noticing sooner, and angry with Ashley for being an ignorant fuck.

How could Ashley be so fucking stupid? How could he just go about his fucking life thinking that all people who self harm are just looking for attention? No one ever knew that I used to cut except for my counselor and now Andy. Only two fucking people know, so how could that possibly make me an attention whore?

As for Andy, I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who knows about his cutting. So if I'm the only person who knows about it, how the fuck does that make him an attention whore?

Andy's sudden loud sob broke me from my thoughts. I pulled Andy closer to me in order to comfort him and he ended up crawling up onto my lap. He curled into a tight ball and held onto me for dear life, still sobbing relatively loudly. I rested my head upon his own and hugged him tighter, pulling him closer to my chest.

How could everyone be so blind? It was obvious how much Andy was hurting now that I knew, but why couldn't we see it before? Why couldn't I have been there for Andy before it got this bad?

I looked down at the sobbing figure curled up on my lap and frowned. It was no wonder Andy was in such a state, with Ashley saying all those things right in front of him. Ashley was supposed to be somewhere safe for Andy to go. Somewhere he could show his flaws without being judged or rejected because of them. But, as Andy had learned today, it seems that Ashley is just like everyone else.

A judgmental cunt.

_**Andy's Point of View**_

Jinxx and I sat in silence for a while, him holding me tightly and me sobbing like an idiot. After a while, I calmed down and awkwardly climbed off Jinxx's lap to sit beside him. I whipped my eyes and nose on my sleeves and looked at him through my fringe.

"Thanks Jinxxy." I whispered. He shook his head.

"Don't thank me Andy. I'm just being a good friend."

I nodded and looked down at my hands. I sniffled and smiled softly.

"My makeup is probably ruined." I laughed quietly.

Jinxx paused for a brief second and let out a loud laugh.

"Yeah," He said, gently pushing my hair out of my eyes. "You look like shit Andy."

That made me let out a laugh, a real laugh. "Thanks buddy," I replied sarcastically.

"Anytime." Jinxx whispered in reply. The smile faded from my lips when I realised that Jinxx's hand was still cupping my cheek. I leaned into his warm hand, his fingers rough from playing his guitar, and I felt safe. Almost as safe as I feel when I'm with Ashley.

Jinxx started to slowly lean in, and I closed my eyes. I could feel him getting closer and I leaned in a bit myself, feeling his breath warming my face. We were inches away from pressing our lips together when we heard the bathroom door open and we jumped apart.

"Andy?" Ashley called softly.

_**A/N: PLOT TWIST. I'm sorry, don't hurt me haha. Anyway! Feedback is always welcome, positive or negative. You have no idea how much it means to me when you guys comment. Seriously, I sit there staring at my computer screen smiling like an idiot and then I excitedly get my roommate to show her the comments. I'm such a loser. ANYWAY, see you guys next chapter! 3 xoxo**_


	17. Chapter 17

_Ashley's Point of View_

_****_ I stood in front of the bathroom, hand placed on the door palm up, ready to push it open. However, I hesitated. What if Sandra was right? What if Andy needed to be left alone for a bit to figure stuff out on his own? I mean, as much as I cared and wanted to be there for him, I really didn't know him well enough to know what he needed in times like this. That, and I seemed to be the reason he was so upset.

I sighed heavily and was about to walk to my locker when I heard someone laugh from the other side of the door. I leaned in closer and heard another guy laugh. It was a deep, loud laugh that was unmistakably Andy. Maybe Jinxx had some how managed to cheer him up and he'd be willing to talk to me and tell me what I did wrong. With that though, I pushed open the door.

"Andy?" I called. I heard someone gasp and some shuffling from one of the stalls, but no one answered.

"Andy?" I called again. I heard someone, presumably Andy sigh.

"In here." He said. "Give us a moment."

_Us? The fuck? _

I heard more shuffling and finally a click indicating that the stall door was being unlocked. Not even a second later Jinxx stepped out, glaring at me.

His hate-filled looked shocked and confused me. Before any of this happened, we seemed to be really getting along. Out of CC, Jake, Jinxx, and Sandra, I had been getting along with Jinxx the most. So why now did he suddenly seem to hate me?

I was about to call him out on it and ask him when Andy stepped out of the stall and the words got stuck in my throat. He walked out looking at his boots so I couldn't see his face, but I knew something was seriously wrong by the way he shuffled out awkwardly. Usually he walked with such pretend confidence as to piss off Justin; his head held high, his shoulders back, and a stupid smirk on his face, but right now he walked with his head down, and shoulders slumped.

"Andy what's wrong?" I asked, taking a step towards him. I leaned in to hug him but he awkwardly shrugged me off.

"Nothing." He muttered, still looking down at the ground so that his hair hung in his face.

I paused then turned to Jinxx. "Can I talk to him alone for a moment please?" I asked.

Jinxx glared at me, then turned to Andy. As soon as he laid eyes on my fragile looking boyfriend, his face relaxed, concern and friendly love replacing the look of hate and disgust he wore when he looked at me.

"Will you be okay with him Andy?" He asked softly.

_Okay with me? _ I wanted to scream. _I'm his fucking boyfriend you dick!_

I was about to open my mouth to tell him exactly that, but Andy spoke before I could get the words out.

"Yeah," He said quietly. He raised his head up a bit to look at Jinxx through his fringe. "Thanks Jinxxy."

"No problem." Jinxx said smiling. Then he turned to me and his smile faded. "Text me later, yeah Andy?"

"Yeah."

With one last look of disgust, he stalked out of the bathroom.

"What do you want?" Andy asked quietly, looking back at the ground.

"Uh, to talk to you? See if you're okay?" I responded hesitantly.

"Oh." He replied bluntly, still refusing to look at me. "Well, as you can see I'm fine."

He pushed past me and started to head for the door, but I grabbed his wrist to stop him. He let out a tiny hiss like I had hurt him and I quickly let go, thinking I grabbed him more tightly than I meant to.

"Sorry," I said. Andy just nodded, but didn't say anything. His back was still towards me, but at least he hadn't walked out on me yet.

"Andy, I can tell you're not fine. I can also see that I did something wrong. You're mad at me, Jinxx is clearly fucking pissed at me, but the problem is I seriously don't know what I did wrong. Can you please tell me so I can fix it?"

Andy shook is head slowly.

"Why?" I asked softly.

He hesitated, and then slowly turned around. He lifted up his head so that his eyes met mine. His beautiful eyes were bloodshot from crying and his makeup was smudged horribly.

"I can't." He whispered, tears forming in his eyes.

_**Andy's Point of View**_

"I can't." I whispered. I felt tears building up in my eyes again and I angrily wiped them away.

"But why?" Ashley pleaded. "I just want to understand what I did wrong."

I shook my head. How was I supposed to tell him what he did wrong and how much he hurt me without telling him that I self harm?

"I can't Ashley. I just…" I trailed off before shaking my head again. "You wouldn't understand."

He took a step towards me and took my hands.

"Try my baby. Please." He said, clearly trying to hold back tears of his own.

"I can't Ashes." I whispered, looking into his brown eyes, begging for him to understand.

"But…" Ashley searched my face for a moment and sighed, gripping my hands tighter. "Okay. I guess I can understand. I don't want to push you into something you don't want to do, especially because I obviously fucked things up enough already today. Just tell me when you're ready, okay? I want to be there for you baby."

I sighed and squeezed his hands. "I know Ashley. I know. Just this… This I can't tell you. I wish I could, but I can't."

Ashley pulled me into a hug, my head resting on his head. "Okay baby. I understand."

After about a minute, he pulled away from the hug and leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him back willingly, missing the feeling of his lips against mine, but as I moved my lips with his, only one thing ran through my mind:

The feeling of Jinxx's breath on my face as he moved in to kiss me not even five minutes ago.

_Time Lapse: Three days to Saturday morning_

The rest of the week passed uneventfully, and therefore, extremely slowly. Justin didn't bother us at all except for the rare insults as we passed him in the hallway. That had made me extremely happy and I had thought he had decided we weren't worth him getting in any more trouble, until Ashley had pointed out that it was probably just because since his suspension, the teachers had been watching him closely to make sure he didn't cause any more trouble.

I had forgiven Ashley for the most part, even though I was still pissed right off about his opinion on self-harmers. Jinxx, on the other hand, was less forgiving. He still thought that Ashley was a judgmental dick and that I shouldn't be with someone like that. I hadn't listened to Jinxx of course, Ashley made me happy, but it still sucked that one of my best friends thought that about my boyfriend.

Things between Jinxx and myself weren't good either. I don't mean that things were awkward; I mean that things between us were exactly opposite. Reason why that wasn't a good thing? I have a boyfriend. Even though I'm dating Ashley Purdy, Jinxx and I had clearly been flirting all week since we almost kissed in the bathroom stall. I don't know why, but Jinxx made me feel extremely safe, wanted, and loved. Yes, Ashley made me feel all those things too, but on a lesser level. Jinxx knew about most of my flaws, yet he still cared. If Ashley knew those things about me, I didn't know if he would still want to be with me or not. That was the major reason I flirted with Jinxx despite the fact I was with Ashley. That was the reason why I thought about kissing Jinxx whenever I kissed Ashley. And I hated myself for it.

I fluttered open my eyes and moaned loudly. I pulled the covers back over my head and sighed. Who the fuck was calling me this early in the morning? I sighed, rolled over so that I was on my back, and grabbed my phone from underneath the pillow.

"Hello?" I asked, my voice still heavy with sleep.

"Hey baby." Ashley said from the other end. He sounded cheerful and excited, which made me grumpy. I hated morning people.

"Hey." I replied. "Why are you calling me so early in the morning?"

"Uh, Andy. It's 2:00 in the afternoon." He said with a laugh.

"Yeah." I replied shortly. "Early."

"Sorry," Ashley said, giving out a small laugh. "But I'm going to have to make you get up."

I groaned loudly. "Whhhhhhhhy?" I whined.

"Because I'm taking you out! We're going to the mall and then dinner."

"Why?" I asked, knowing I sounded a bit rude. I didn't care though, I was tired and in a bad mood.

Ashley however, ignored my tone and laughed. "Because silly!" He suddenly got serious. "I owe it to you. After what happened Wednesday."

"You don't owe me anything Ashes. I forgave you." I responded, rolling over with a sigh. I sat on the edge of my bed, my feet resting against the cold wooden floor.

"I know, but I didn't forgive myself, and neither did Jinxx. I know I don't know what I did, but I must have done something really horrible. I need to make it up to you."

I sighed. "Fine. What time do I need to be ready at?"

Ashley let out an excited yelp, causing me to pull the phone away from my ear. I giggled.

"Fuck Ashes. Do you want me to go deaf?" I asked.

"Sorry," He said laughing. "Can you be ready in an hour?"

"Yeah."

"Okay good! I'll be there in an hour. My mum is letting me borrow her car so I'll pick you up."

"Sounds good." I responded. I was glad that he was driving. I didn't feel like doing anything today, especially walking, and I knew that he wouldn't have let me drive anyway.

"See you soon, Bright Eyes."

"Bye Ashes." I responded, hanging up and gently tossing my phone on the bed beside me. I sat staring out my window for five minutes before heaving myself up with a sigh and making my way towards the bathroom.

I was showered and dressed in half an hour, so that gave me half an hour to finish my hair and makeup. I had decided that despite the fact that I felt like shit, I wanted to look my best. I spent 20 minutes doing my makeup so that my foundation was perfectly blended, and my eyeliner was applied with precision and was the correct thickness. While I was doing my makeup, I suddenly got really excited about spending the day with Ashley so instead of doing my usual light layer of black eye shadow, I did a kind of smoky eye look that looked beautiful with my blue eyes.

My hair only took eight minutes to do, which really surprised me. For the short amount of time I took on it, it looked really good. I was looking at myself in the mirror, actually quiet pleased with how I looked for the first time in a long time when my phone started ringing. I took one last look in the mirror and walked over to pick up my phone.

"Hey baby!" I said cheerfully. Laughter came from the other end.

"Uh, hey Andy. It's Sandra."

_Fuck. _

"Oh, sorry." I muttered, embarrassed. "I thought you were Ashley."

"I know." Sandra said, a hint of anger and sadness in her otherwise happy tone.

"Sorry." I said again. "So, what's up?"

"It's Saturday buddy." She said with a laugh.

"Uh, yeah?" I said, still not understanding. Then it dawned on me. "Oh, shit. Band practice."

"Yeaaaah. We decided to meet at Jake's house at 2:30 and it's nearly 3:00. Where are you?"

I sighed. "I totally forgot about band practice. I don't know where my head has been this past week." I muttered.

"That's okay, just come on over now?"

"I can't."

"Uh, why?" Sandra asked.

"I made plans with Ashley today. We're going out." I responded quietly. The only reply was silence. "Sandra?"

"What?" She asked harshly.

"I'm sorry. I just totally forgot."

"Whatever Andy. You know, I remember there was a point in time when this band and your friends were actually fucking important to you."

"The fuck are you talking about?" I asked, getting defensive. "The band is important to you, and I care about my friends more than I care about myself."

Sandra snorted into the phone. "Bullshit. We need to practice if this band is ever going to get anywhere. We've only practice like, once this whole month because of your whole mental break down because of Scout." She hissed.

"Oh yeah. Bringing up Scout. Really low blow there Sandra. You know how much I cared about her. We were dating for three years."

"You know, I don't really give a shit. Remember why you called the band 'Black Veil Brides'?" She asked. It was my turn to snort into the phone and I was about to reply when she cut me off.

"It's because when you're in the band, the band and it's members become one of the most important things in your life. But you let Scout interfere with that. You totally tossed the band to the side for her." Sandra hissed.

I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. She didn't take my silence too kindly.

"And you're fucking doing it again with Ashley! But at least with Scout you didn't forget about us as well as the band."

"I didn't forget about you guys!" I nearly shouted into the phone.

"Yes you did!" She screamed. "We haven't hung out properly in ages! Not like we used to! You've always been way to fucking busy with Ashley. You know what Andy? I'm done. I waited for you, tried to understand you, but I can't anymore. I just can't. I'm done."

With that, she hung up the phone. I didn't even have time to process the conversation when my phone started ringing again.

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked harshly, thinking it was Sandra calling back.

"Uh, I was just calling to let you know I'm here…" Ashley responded.

"Oh God, I'm sorry." I whispered. "I thought you were Sandra."

"Like, your best friend Sandra? Why would you answer the phone like that for her?"

"We got into a fight not even a minute before you phoned. She hung up on me and I thought you were her calling me back. I don't want to get into details."

"Oookay." Ashley responded, dragging out the word. "Well I'm here Bright Eyes, so hurry your butt up."

I laughed, starting to feel excited again. "I'm ready. I just need to grab my wallet."

"Okay, see you soon!"

"Okay." I said before hanging up. I quickly stuffed my phone in my pocket and grabbed my wallet from my dresser. I checked myself in the mirror again before double-checking I had everything I need.

"Phone, iPod, jacket, wallet…" I muttered to myself. Once satisfied that I hadn't forgotten anything, I exited my room and closed the door behind me. I walked down the hall to my parent's bedroom where I knew my dad would be watching TV. I knocked softly on the door.

"Yup." I heard him call from the other side. I poked my head in.

"Hey, I'm going out for a bit." I said. Dad looked away from the TV.

"Date?" He jokingly asked, taking in my carefully applied makeup and hair.

I let out a fake, uncomfortable laugh. "No, just going to hang out with Ashley at the mall. I probably wont be home for dinner."

"Alright. Can you text your mum to let her know?"

I nodded. "See you later."

"Have fun." Dad said, turning back to the TV.

I closed the door behind me and rushed down the stairs. I paused by the front door to pull on my black pair of converse and walked out the door, quickly locking it behind me. Ashley was parked in my driveway, head down, playing a game on his phone. He saw me and waved. I waved back and smiled.

"Hey." Ashley said, rolling down the window.

"Hey." I responded with a big smile. "Do you mind if I have a smoke really quick?"

He nodded, frowning slightly. I knew he disapproved of my bad habit, but he never said anything about it.

"Awesome." I said, pulling out my pack from my jacket. Ashley went back to his game as I lit a cigarette and shoved my pack back into my jacket.

"So why are we going to the mall?" I asked, breathing in my smoke. Ashley smiled and paused his game.

"I was thinking… I really like how you look in long sleeves, but you have such a beautiful body. Plus it's getting warm out. So, I really want to buy you some short sleeved shirt." He replied with a grin.

_Shit. Fuck. Mother fucking shit._

My smile faded and I felt a chill run up my spine. "Y-you… You don't need to do that Ashley. Really. I really like my long sleeves." I stuttered.

"I know, but you're always wearing long sleeves! Plus it's getting warmer out. Please Andy?"

"Uh… I don't know Ashes." I whispered.

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

Despite Andy's protest of me buying him clothes all the way to the mall, I dragged him into my favourite store.

"Andy, come on. I think you'd look really good in short sleeves!" I said happily, picking out a couple. "You're probably a medium because of how tall you are?"

Andy shrugged. "I guess. But seriously Ashley, I don't want anything."

"Humour me," I replied, giving him a couple shirts I had picked out. "Just try them on!"

Andy sighed heavily. "Fine. Just for you." He said, giving me a pained smile.

"Good!" I said happily, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the change room.

"How many?" An employee asked Andy.

"Three." He muttered. The girl nodded and led him over to the only change room left. I look around me.

"It's busy today." I commented to the employee.

"It's always busy on Saturdays." She replied with a laugh.

"There you are. Let me know if you need different sizes or anything." She said, giving Andy a smile. He returned the smile after a moment and nodded.

After the girl walked away, Andy turned to me. "I really don't want to try anything on."

I sighed jokingly. "You already said you would baby. Pleeeease? For me?"

I pouted, looking up at him from under my fringe and he let out an exasperated groan.

"Fine. And that's no fair Ashes, you know I can't say no to your stupid pout."

"I know!" I replied cheerfully. "Now get in there."

Andy walked into the change room and closed the door.

"The lock is broken." He said after a moment.

"Oh, well, I'll just hold the door closed then."

"Kay."

_**Andy's Point of View**_

I stood in front of the mirror, dropping the pile of clothes that Ashley picked out on the ground with a sigh. How the fuck was I going to avoid this one?

_Just try them on, say you don't like any of them, and then leave. _I thought, nodding to myself. That could work.

I pulled my long sleeved shirt over my head, being extra careful as to not mess up my hair. I dropped my shirt on the ground and stared at my shredded arms in the mirror. Some of the cuts were still fresh, as I had cut myself again just a day or two ago. I sighed again and bent down to pick up a black short-sleeved shirt. I pulled it over my head and looked in the mirror.

I won't lie; it actually looked really good on me. I felt a pang of guilt and sadness as I looked at myself in the mirror. I liked it, and desperately wished I could get it. I felt tears building up in my eyes and coughed.

"I don't know Ash. I don't like it." I said.

"Well let me see!" Ashley replied from the other side of the door.

"No, don't!" I protested, but it was too late. The door to the change room swung open.

I saw Ashley's smile fade as he took in my arms. I saw the look of disgust form in his eyes that he wore when he saw Kina's cuts.

"Andy." He said harshly, pointing at my arms. "What the fucking hell is this? Are you… Do you… Do you fucking cut yourself?"

**A/N: Another cliffhanger! Muahaha. I'm sorry, please don't throw things at me. As always, please comment with your opinions! Comments make me a very happy writer. Seriously, I'm not even kidding. Whenever I get a comment I will show any one of my friends who will listen. :) I'm cool.  
See you guys next chapter! xoxo**


	18. Chapter 18

_I saw Ashley's smile fade as he took in my arms. I saw the look of disgust form in his eyes that he wore when he saw Kina's cuts._

_"Andy." He said harshly, pointing at my arms. "What the fucking hell is this? Are you... Do you... Do you fucking cut yourself?"_

_**Andy's Point of View**_

I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't just deny the fact that I cut when the evidence was staring him right in the face, now could I?

I couldn't just say, "Oh no dude. I don't cut, of course not. Those are cat scratches. Wanna go get dinner now?" And skip away happily.

That was fucking impossible. For one, he knows I don't even have a cat. Hell, none of my friends had cats. Another thing, these cuts were obviously not cat scratches. They looked more like a fucking lion attacked my arm.

In the end, I decided to stay silent because I didn't know what to say.

"Andy, seriously. What the fuck is this?" Ashley hissed, reaching over to grab my arm. I pulled it away quickly, but not quick enough. He managed to grab hold of my wrist with his nails, and when I pulled away he dug his nails into the fresh wounds. I yelped in pain and Ashley quickly let go, concern replacing the anger for a quick second. But then it was gone, and only disgust and something like hate was visible on his face.

"Get dressed." He said before turning away. "We need to talk, and I refuse to do this here." He practically slammed the change room door behind him, causing me to jump.

I stood frozen for a few seconds, staring after Ashley. Tears began to form in my eyes and I just let them fall.

"Andy, hurry the fuck up." Ashley hissed from the other side of the door.

I broke out of my trance and pulled the t-shirt over my head, no longer caring that it was going to mess up my hair. I threw it in a corner and bent down to grab my long sleeved shirt. I pulled it over my head, hissing when the fabric brushed over the already irritated cuts on my forearms. Not daring to look in the mirror, I slowly opened the door. Ashley was waiting for me, leaning against the wall closest to the change room I was in, doing something on his phone. When he heard the door creak open, he looked up.

"Let's go." He said bluntly.

I didn't say anything; I just nodded sadly.

We walked to his car in complete silence. Ashley wouldn't even look at me, he just stared straight ahead the whole entire walk. A few times, I tried grabbing his hand, but he just sharply pulled away from me.

Finally, we made it to his car. He unlocked the door and climbed in. I took a deep breath in preparation of what was coming, and opened the door. Again, Ashley refused to look at me. He sat with his hands tightly gripping the steering wheel, staring blankly out the front window.

Only after I climbed in and closed the door softly behind me did he speak.

"How long?" He asked between clenched teeth.

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

"How long?" I asked harshly.

Andy remained silent.

"How long?" I asked again. This time the question came out louder and harsher.

"Since about grade eight." He said quietly.

I considered this for a moment, my hands tightening their grip on the wheel.

"So," I started, remaining surprisingly calm. "You're one of them."

"Who?" Andy asked after a moment.

"Them." I spat out the word. "The people who give the kids who dress like this a bad name. The attention-seeking idiots."

"I'm not," He started, but I cut him off.

"You're not?" I screamed, getting right in his face. "You're not? You fucking cut yourself Andy. What else could you possibly gain from destroying your body?"

"It helps." Andy whispered, almost to himself. "I'm not doing it for attention."

I snorted. "Bullshit. That's fucking bullshit. Do you remember what I told Kina Wednesday...?" I suddenly trailed off. It was after I confronted Kina that Andy suddenly got really upset. Before that, he was completely fine.

Right then and there, it dawned on me. "Wednesday. That's why you were so upset, because of what I said about Kina being an attention-seeking bitch. You were so upset because you're exactly like her. That's also why you didn't tell me, because you didn't want me to see you for what you really are." I turned to him, no longer feeling the butterflies in my stomach that seeing him usually brought. I just felt empty and numb. How could my beautiful Andy turn out to be an attention whore? Justin was right about him the entire time.

"Ashley..." Andy started, tears streaming down his face. I turned away from him.

"Get out." I hissed.

Andy froze. "Wh-what?" He asked, shocked.

"Are you fucking deaf, you pathetic piece of shit?" I screamed, turning back towards him to get as close as possible to his face. "Get the fuck out of my fucking car!"

Andy sat there in shock. "Okay." He whispered finally. "Can... Will I talk to you later?"

"No." I said coldly, turning back to facing away from him. "I want nothing to do with you. Justin was right about you the entire time. You're nothing but a pathetic little faggot. You're worthless Andy. And that's why you cut yourself. No one cares about you. No one loves you. No one fucking gives a damn because of how fucking pathetic you are. So you cut yourself and hope that that will make people care. Well guess what? I cared. Cutting for attention only pushes people away. And that's exactly what you did - You pushed me away. Now get the fuck out of my sight. I never ever want to see you again. You're dead to me."

_**Andy's Point of View**_

I was still sitting on a curb in the parking lot where Ashley had left me an hour later. I had finally stopped crying, and now I just felt numb. Empty. Worthless.

The last words that Ashley had said to me before I had got out of the car still echoed through my head. He hated me. He thought I was worthless. He thought I was pathetic.

A cold wind started blowing, managing to break through my numbness. Feeling returned to my body, and with it, the pain. Fresh tears started rolling down my face as I brought my knees up to my chest. My teeth started chattering and the tears became stiff on my face. I let out a small sob, and hugged my knees tighter.

Eventually, the cold became too much and I slowly pulled out my phone. Only one person could help me at this point. Only one person knew what I was going through. I dialed his number and brought the phone to my ear. After three, agonizing rings, he finally picked up.

"Hello?"

"Jinxx." I said, my voice slightly cracking.

"Andy? What's wrong?" He asked, his voice full of concern.

"Jinxxy, I need you. A-Ash... He hates me. I can't... I don't..."

"Shh." Jinxx said, gently interrupting my rambling. "Are you at home?"

I shook my head, but then realised he couldn't see me. "No." I muttered. "I'm at the mall. Ashley took me to the mall, but then he saw... He knows I cut Jinxx."

"Did he fucking leave you at the mall?" Jinxx hissed.

"He hates me." I whispered, not fully answering his question.

"I'm on my way." Jinxx said after a small pause.

"Y-you don't have a car."

"I'll borrow my dad's. I do have my license."

"I know." I whispered.

"I'll be there in ten minutes." Jinxx said.

"Okay." I responded. I just barely got the word out before the line went dead.

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

I sped all the way home in silence; I was too angry to listen to music. I kept seeing Andy's scars flash before my eyes, which only increased my anger.

I thought of how reluctant he was to get a t-shirt. How upset he got after I told off Kina. How he was always wearing long sleeves, even in the hottest of weather. How could I have been so stupid? The evidence was all right in front of me, yet I was too blind to put the pieces together. The last words I had said to Andy played through my mind, but as harsh as I knew I was, I felt no guilt or regret. I didn't want anything to do with Andy. How could I be in a relationship with someone, let alone friends, with someone who hurts themself for attention? I couldn't, and I wouldn't.

But that also meant that I was alone now. I wanted nothing to do with Andy, which also meant I no longer had Sandra, Jinxx, Jake, or CC as friends. I also couldn't just go crawling back to Justin after what had happened between us. I wasn't even sure I wanted to go back to being friends with him anyway.

_You're alone Ashley. My mind whispered to me as I pulled into my driveway. You have no one._

But maybe I didn't need anyone. I wasn't a Popular that was for sure. I never really did fit in with them, and even when I was friends with them, I wasn't truly happy.

I no longer fit in with the Outcasts either. I sure as hell wasn't an attention-seeking loser.

So, what that meant is I was alone, and it was for the better. I wasn't Ashley Purdy, the Popular man whore. I wasn't Ashley Purdy, the bisexual, hated Outcast either. I was Ashley Purdy, the Outlaw.

_**Andy's Point of View**_

"I'm going to fucking kill him." Jinxx nearly shouted after I finally managed to tell him what happened between sobs.

"N-no Jinxxy." I whispered. "I deserve it. I'm fucking worthless. I am pathetic. Everything he said is true." I broke down into heavy sobs.

"Andy, fucking look at me." Jinxx said harshly. I shook my head, letting my hair cover my face. Jinxx gently grabbed my chin between his thumb and forefinger and made me look at him.

"You're not worthless Andy. You're not pathetic either. He's the pathetic one." I started to protest but Jinxx interrupted me. "No, Andy. He doesn't fucking deserve you. If he did, he would have understood. He would have fucking listened to you."

I nodded, deciding it was easier just to pretend to agree with him.

"You're right, Jinxx." I lied. "He's the pathetic one."

"Good." Jinxx said with a small, sad smile. He pulled me into a hug and I leaned into him.

We sat like that for half an hour, not saying anything. I cried for the first bit, but by the end I was just starting to feel numb again.

"Jinxx," I whispered, pulling away.

"Yeah Andy?"

"I... I need to be left alone for a while." I replied after a second.

"Are you sure Andy?" Jinxx whispered suddenly, pulling away to look into my eyes. "I really don't feel okay with leaving you alone like this."

I shook my head. "I'll be okay Jinxx. My parents will be home soon. I just... Need to sort through my feelings right now. I need time to think."

Jinxx sat in silence for a moment, searching my face. Finally, he sighed.

"Alright. But I really want you to call me if you need anything."

I nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Promise me Andy. Promise me you're not going to do anything stupid." Jinxx said harshly.

"I promise." I whispered quietly.

After Jinxx left I sat on the edge of my bed for what seemed like forever. I wasn't even thinking about anything; my mind was too numb. I couldn't even cry anymore. I just stared at my bare feet. I hate feeling numb. Feeling pain, even the pain of losing Ashley would be better than this.

There's only one way to fix this, you know that Andy.

I didn't even try to fight off the urge this time. There wasn't any point. I was too weak mentally, and honestly, I didn't have anything to lose anymore.

I stood up slowly and walked to my bathroom with a new purpose. I dug through the drawer that hid my precious razor. My hand finally found the small, black box and I slowly pulled it out. Ignoring the piece of tape with my writing on it, I lifted the lid. Inside, my best friend lay waiting for me.

I walked shakily back to my bed and sat down. I took a deep, steady breath and took the razor to my wrist. The cut was long and deep, but I still couldn't cry. I still couldn't think. I was still numb. I raised the razor and found another piece of my skin to rip open. Fifteen cuts later, I still felt nothing.

20 new cuts.

Nothing.

22.

Nothing.

I was running out of room on my left arm, so I took the razor with my left hand and began to shakily carve up my right wrist.

My blood was running down my arms and dripping onto my floor, but still I felt numb. Was this what it was going to be like from now on? Going through life without feeling? Without meaning? If so, it wasn't worth living.

_You're worthless, Andy. No one loves you. No one needs you. No one wants you. You won't be missed. In fact, you'll be doing everyone a favour. Jut end it and sleep forever._

For someone who just decided to end their own life, I was surprisingly calm. I stood up and walked to my bedroom door, and walked out, letting my shredded arms drop blood as I walked. I couldn't bring myself to care about the mess I was leaving behind. In fact, I couldn't bring myself to care about anything. I opened the door to my parents' bedroom and poked my head in. I breathed in the smell of lavender and smiled slightly, the smell bringing back memories of sleeping in my parent's bedroom when I had a nightmare. Then I remembered why I was here and my smile faded.

Quietly, I made my way to the bathroom and turned on the lights. One of the lights flickered for a second, but began to burn bright. I walked over to the sink and stared at the sad excuse for a human being in the mirror. I took in its blue, blood shot eyes, it's horribly smudged makeup, and its messy hair. When I moved closer to the mirror, the thing followed.

"You're pathetic." I told it in a hushed tone. "No one likes you, and no one needs you. You're worthless. You hear me? You're fucking worthless." I stare in the mirror for a few more minutes before opening the bathroom cupboard. Not even a second after opening the door, I found what I was looking for. My mother's sleeping pills.

I reached out slowly and grabbed the bottle with my long, pale fingers. I looked down at the bottle and smiled a bit. Then I quickly closed the cupboard door and exited my parents' bedroom.

Ten minutes later, I was sat on my bed again. This time though, five things lay before me; my razor, my depression pills, the sleeping pills, a large bottle of vodka to wash it all down, and my suicide note. I opened one of the bottles and poured a bunch of pills in my hand. I didn't even look at the pills when I tipped them into my mouth and washed them down with a mouth full of vodka.

Soon, both pill bottles were empty. I didn't feel scared or sad, I just felt impatient. I just want this to be over. While waiting for the pills to kick in, I began carving up my skin again. Whether because I was just bored, or because I was hoping to break the numbness so I could cry one last time, I don't know. I just knew my arms were bleeding badly. So badly that I should have been scared, but I wasn't. I didn't feel anything except the sharp pain of the razor against my skin.

Suddenly, in the middle of making a particularly deep and painful cut, I began to feel lightheaded and sick. And suddenly, I was scared. I started to reach for my phone to call Jinxx, but it was too late. The room started spinning and I couldn't figure how to work my phone properly. I could feel my heart racing in my chest, and hear the blood pounding in my ears. I broke out into a cold sweat and I started to shiver uncontrollably. Then, suddenly I felt nothing as I slipped into darkness.

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

I was lying on my bed, listening to music through my headphone when I felt my phone start ringing. I yanked out an ear bud and grabbed my phone. I looked at the caller ID.

"Fuck." I muttered as I answered the call and put the phone to my ear.

"What do you want?" I asked Jinxx.

"I wanted to let you know how much of a judgmental ass hole you are." Jinxx responded, his voice shaking.

I let out a humourless laugh. "At least I'm not an attention whore."

"You fucking cunt." Jinxx yelled into the phone, but then he paused and took a shaky breath. "Neither is Andy, Ashley."

"People only cut for attention." I replied coldly.

"That's not true." Jinxx whispered.

"Yes it is," I began, angry, but he cut me off.

"Not everyone cuts for attention. I know I didn't." Jinxx said quietly.

That took me by surprise. "You... Cut yourself?" I asked.

"I used to. No one except my parents, counselor, Andy, and now you know. If I did it for attention don't you think a lot more people would know?"

I thought about that for a second. He was right, but I didn't want to admit it. I sighed.

"I guess," I started. "But…"

Jinxx cut me off again. "No buts Ashley. You know how many people know about Andy?"

I paused. I never thought about that. I just assumed that everyone knew for some reason. He continued without my answer.

"Two people Ashley. Me and you. Do you know how much trouble he goes through to hide his cuts? He wears long sleeve shirts every. Fucking. Day. It doesn't matter the weather. Doesn't matter how uncomfortable he gets, he still wears them so that no one finds out."

Jinxx paused to let that sink in.

"You mean… Only you and I know?" I muttered, for the first time feeling guilty about the way I reacted.

"Yes." He said harshly. "You know how I found out? Basically the same way you did. I walked in on him doing it because he forgot to lock the bathroom door. He has never told anyone."

"People found out about his cutting by accident?" I whispered after a moment.

"Andy never told anyone at all. We only found out by accident." He said, his tone softer.

I let out a strangled sob. "What have I done Jinxx?"

"You lost a really good guy." He said. "You… Fuck. I can't believe I'm saying this, I'm so fucking pissed off at you for fucking up this badly, but you make Andy happy. You need to call and talk to him."

"Will he forgive me?" I whispered, trying to hold back a sob.

"I don't know. But if you care about him, you have to try."

"Thank you for telling me Jinxx." I said after a moment of silence.

"I'm doing it for him. I don't know if I can forgive you yet, but maybe." He replied.

"I understand."

"Good." He said, a hint of the old, joking Jinxx, appearing in his tone. "Now call him!"

"Okay." I laughed slightly. "Bye Jinxx."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and quickly dialed Andy's number.

He never answered.

I tried again, but still, he never answered.

After leaving five voicemails and sending at least twenty text messages, I fell asleep clutching my phone.

I was woken up by the sound of my ringtone. I reached over to grab my phone and checked the time; 3:30am. I groaned loudly, but answered anyway.

"Hello?" I said, sitting up slightly.

"Ashley," Sandra said. Her voice came out broken, as if she was crying.

"Sandra?" I asked, fully sitting up now. "What's wrong?"

"It's… Oh Ash, Andy is in the hospital." She whispered, her voice cracking.

My blood ran cold and my hands started shaking. "Wh-what?" I stuttered.

"He tried to commit suicide Ash. The doctors don't know if he's going to make it."

**A/N: I love my cliffhangers. Muaha. I'm sorry. Please don't throw things at me. Literally. I'm not even joking. One of my friends who actually followers this story threw a box of tissues at me when she finished reading the last chapter EVEN AFTER I SPECIFICALLY SAID NOT TOO. It's okay. I'm over it. :)  
Like always, comment with your opinions. I want to know how you like the story so far. After all, you are the reader! Let me know how I am doing. Comments make me happy.  
See you guys next chapter, love you all so so much. 3 xoxo**


	19. Chapter 19

_Ashley's__ Point of View_

My whole world was falling apart around me. My phone slipped from my fingers and fell to my bed with a soft, barely audible thump, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

_Andy is in the hospital.  
Andy tried to kill himself.  
The doctors don't know if he's going to make it.  
My Andy could die.  
And it would be my fault._

A muffled, "Ashley?" Came from somewhere in the sea of covers, pulling me away from my thoughts. With much effort, I broke through the fog that was starting to form in my mind and started to look for my phone. Once my shaking fingers found it, I grasped it and brought it up to my ear.

"Ashley?" I heard Sandra ask from the other end. "Ashley? Are you still there?"

I opened my mouth to try and answer, but only a small squeak type sound came from my throat. My mouth was too dry to form words.

"Ashley?" Sandra asked again, her voice full of concern.

I licked my lips and tried to clear my throat.

"Yeah." I muttered. "I'm still here. Is he... Will he... How is he doing...?" I asked quietly.

There was silence for a moment. "They don't know. They told his parents that with the amount of pills and stuff he took, his organs might begin to shut down."

"Wh-what?" I stuttered. Of course I had heard her properly, but the words weren't making sense in my brain.

"When they took him to the hospital they tried everything they could to revive him. They pumped his stomach and basically threw him in a tub of ice because his body was over heating."

"Wh-what about now?" I whispered, deathly afraid of the answer.

"Now they're pumping fluids into him. He's barely stable Ash. They don't know if he's going to survive the night." Sandra replied, copying my tone.

My body froze. I tried to speak but the signal from my brain to my vocal cords and mouth seemed to have been severed. My breathing became rapid and painful, and I felt like the walls were closing in around me. This couldn't be happening.

"Ashley?" Sandra said into the phone, panic clear in her voice. Her clear, overwhelming worry for me somehow broke me out of my frozen state.

"I'm okay." I replied. I didn't exactly lie; I was physically okay, however mentally? I was falling apart.

"Can you make it to the hospital? Ju-just in case something happens to And-"

I cut her off quickly, not wanting to let her finish her sentence in case her saying it somehow made it happen. "Yes. I'll be there soon." I said in a firm voice before hanging up. I threw the covers off of me and swung my legs over the side of my bed, quickly standing up. I paused for a moment, feeling faint from how fast I had stood. The lightheadedness had barely passed before I made my way to the bedroom door. The brass doorknob was cold in the grasp of my sweaty hands and I shivered slightly. I was still dressed in a shirt and jeans as I had passed out without changing early, but yet the chilly air coming from my bedroom window still made me shiver violently. Although, if it was from the cold or from the adrenalin rush that fear brought, I didn't know.

I opened the door and stepped out into the black hall, and my breath instantly became panicked. I had always been afraid of the dark, and right now was no different. The only light that broke through the eerie darkness that coated the hall was the moonlight that leaked through my window. However, it couldn't penetrate all of the darkness. As I walked towards my parents' bedroom, my surroundings got darker. I couldn't see five paces ahead of me as I walked, and when I turned a corner it got worse. My ragged breath caught in my throat as I stopped in my tracks and starred at the blackness before me. The extremely small part of my brain that wasn't coated with the panic induced fog kept whispering for me to calm down and turn on the lights, but for some reason I wasn't registering the sensible advice. I was still frozen, starring in front of me. I was just about to say fuck it and run back to my room when I remembered why I was here; Andy was dying and I needed to get to the hospital. Somehow, the thought of Andy was all I needed. The fog seemed to have lifted from my body and I no longer felt the overwhelming sense of dread and complete terror from being in the darkness of the hallway. I took a deep breath and rushed towards my parents' bedroom. Before I knew it, I was beside my mum's side of the bed.

"Mum." I whispered. She stirred a bit, but she didn't wake.

"Mum," I said a bit louder, nudging her a little bit.

"Hmm?" She moaned, only slightly coming to.

"Mum, I need to go to the hospital." I said quietly, instantly regretting my choice of words. They did get her attention however.

"What?" She asked, panic replacing the sleepiness in her voice. She shot up so she was in sitting position, waking my dad up, and looked over at me. "Ashley, are you okay? Why do you need to go to the hospital? What's wrong?"

I inwardly sighed in exasperation. "No, mum, I'm fine." I said, trying to interrupt her high-pitched rambling, but she just continued. "No, mum. Stop. Mum, shut up." I tried again, getting a bit louder. She quieted down for a few moments. "Andy's in the hospital."

"Andy? But… Is he okay?" She asked. Though she did sound really concerned, there was a small hint of relief in her voice, which irritated me greatly.

"No. The doctors don't know if he's going to survive the night." I said harshly. "I need to go to the hospital."

"We're coming with you," Dad spoke up as he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "Go start the car. We'll be there in three minutes."

I felt relief wash through my body. Secretly, I wanted them to come with me. I knew I wasn't strong enough to go there and see my boyfriend lying on the white hospital bed alone; I would break down completely. But I knew my parents would help keep me strong. And I needed to be strong, for Andy.

Dad made it to the hospital in record time, and for that I was quiet impressed. I was scared that the fifteen-minute drive to the hospital would make me panic and question if I could actually do this, but, surprisingly, I didn't.

My dad had barely finished parking the car in the parkade when I had my seatbelt off and my hand on the door handle, ready to jump out as soon as the car stopped moving.

"Ashley, wait a few more minutes. I still have to pay." Dad said as he undid his own seatbelt. I only replied with a frustrated sigh.

"Son, Andy will be just fine in the few minutes that we take." Dad said quietly. I felt anger and fear build up in my stomach at his words. My chest felt tighter and tighter until I finally exploded.

"How the fuck do you know, Dad? The doctors don't even know if he's going to be okay, so how the fuck do you know?" I all but screamed at him. Normally Dad would have yelled right back at me as I got my temper from him, but somehow he managed to remain calm. He looked over at Mum and they shared a look. Dad broke eye contact first and just nodded once before getting out of the car to pay. Mum turned around.

"Go in Ash. We'll meet you inside." She said quietly. I just nodded and exited the car.

The short walk through the parkade to the hospital seemed to be the longest walk I have ever had to do. The sound of my black converse shoes slapping on the asphalt ground of the empty parking lot echoed all around me.

"Fuck, it's empty down here," I muttered to myself just to hear the sound of my voice. I figured if I tried to distract myself with the sound of a human voice, I would be able to keep myself from going insane thinking about Andy.

"Of course it's empty, you tit." I replied to myself, still muttering under my breath. "It's nearly four in the morning." I looked around, suddenly feeling paranoid. I knew I was perfectly safe; after all my parents were basically right behind me, but I still found myself looking over my shoulder and quickening my pace.

I soon found myself outside of the hospital doors and paused. What if everyone knew that it was my fault Andy tried to commit suicide? Since Jinxx and Andy were so close, I knew for a fact that Andy had told Jinxx about how I reacted to Andy cutting himself. That meant that Jinxx probably told everyone else about how I reacted.

_But that would also mean that Jinxx would have had to tell everyone that Andy has been cutting himself for years. _I thought to myself, awkwardly shifting my weight from foot to foot.

Would Jinxx really tell everyone Andy's well-protected secret? To that, I honestly had no answer. On one hand, I knew Jinxx well enough that he would do anything in his power to respect Andy's privacy. After all, if Andy didn't tell Jake, CC, and Sandra about his cutting, there must have been a good reason as to why. But on the other hand, everyone would want answers as to why Andy would have tried to take his own life and only Jinxx had somewhat of an explanation.

_It doesn't matter if Jinxx did or didn't tell. _My mind whispered darkly. _Even if he didn't, Andy probably would have explained it all in his letter. _

My heart sank and I felt tears form in my eyes. If Andy explained everything in his suicide note, it meant that he probably blamed me. Meaning that his parents' know that it's entirely my fault their son may not live to see tomorrow.

"Ashley?" I heard someone call from behind me, pulling me away from my thoughts. I turned around quickly to see my parents walking towards me.

"We thought you would have been inside already." Dad said.

"I can't go in there. I can't see him like this… I'm not strong enough… I just feel so guilty…" I trailed off, tears streaming down my face and dripping off the end of my nose as I looked down at my shoes.

"Hunny," Mum said, stepping forward to hug me. "You need to go in and see him. I know how much you care about him. There's no reason to feel guilty either. Sometimes the signs just aren't obvious."

I nodded but didn't say anything. How could I tell her that it literally was all my fault Andy was in the hospital?

Mum hugged me tighter and then let go, putting on a fake smile that was obviously meant to encourage me.

"Come on." She said softly, starting to walk to the door. Dad started to follow behind her, grabbing my shoulder in a reassuring manner. I smiled slightly at him and followed them through the hospital door.

I trailed behind my parents into the waiting room, hands shoved firmly into my jean's pockets. I was still looking at my shoes when I heard a quiet, sad voice break the almost silence of the room.

"Ash,"

I looked up and saw Sandra give me a small smile from the other side of the waiting room. Silent tears were streaming down her face as I walked towards her, Jinxx, CC, and Jake. CC and Jake looked up and both gave me a small 'hey', their eyes red and puffy from crying. Jinxx wouldn't look at me.

"Hey guys." I said, my voice breaking slightly. I cleared my throat awkwardly to try and fight back the tears that were threatening to start falling again. "How is he?"

"No change." Jake replied quietly. I nodded and sat in the empty chair beside Sandra. Mum and Dad were quietly talking to Andy's parents, who were sitting a little ways away from us. Andy's dad sat stone-faced, nodding slightly at something Dad was saying while Andy's mum was sobbing almost silently on Mum's shoulder. I felt a few tears escape my eyes and I quickly looked away. This was entirely my fault.

"Ashley, can I talk to you for a moment?" Jinxx asked me quietly, still avoiding eye contact. I nodded and he got up and started walking away from the group for some privacy, not looking back to make sure I was following. I saw CC throw me a questioning glance, but I ignored it and got up to follow Jinxx.

"Yeah?" I asked Jinxx quietly when I got close enough.

"After you and I got off the phone… Did you manage to get ahold of him?" He asked me in a hushed tone.

I shook my head. "I called him multiple times and left him a bunch of texts, but no."

Jinxx was quiet for a moment. "So I was the last one to talk to him before…" He trailed off, not wanting to say the words.

What he told me didn't come as a shock. I did kind of expect that it would have been Jinxx Andy would have went to after I left him at the mall. After all, Jinxx was the only other one who knew he cut.

"I shouldn't have left him. I just honestly thought he needed time by himself to sort out his feelings. I made him promise not to do anything stupid, but I should have known…"

I grabbed Jinxx's hands and forced him to look at me. "It's not your fault Jinxx, you were there for him when he needed someone. If anyone is to blame, it's me. Seriously. I…" Tears started rolling down my face again. "I acted really badly when I found out. I said some really nasty stuff to him."

Jinxx nodded. "I know. Andy told me what you said. By the way, I'm still really pissed off at you, but now isn't really the time to be fighting."

I just nodded. I heard someone come up behind me and gently touch my arm. I let go of Jinxx's hands and turned around, coming face-to-face with Andy's mum. She gave me a tight, sad smile and looked at Jinxx.

"Can I speak to Ashley for a second?"

Jinxx nodded and walked back to where our friends were sitting. I watched Jinxx walk away, a sinking feeling in my gut. I knew what was coming.

"I talked to your mum." She said quietly after a second. My chest tightened. Of course she would talk to Mum and Dad. After all, I did ultimately lead to her son's attempted suicide.

"I wish we didn't have to find out this way, but I guess it makes sense why Andy wouldn't have told us himself with how his father and I acted the first time."

That through me off-guard. What the fuck was she talking about? I guess she saw the look of confusion on my face because she gave me a sad smile.

"Andy mentioned that you and him are dating in his… in his letter." Her voice cracked a bit and she looked away. I was stunned into silence, not knowing how to respond, so she just continued. "Well, not really mentioned. Some of the note is addressed to you. I talked with Chris, and we both agree you should be able to read it." She handed me the folded up piece of paper that was clutched tightly in her hand. I took it after a moment hesitation. Amy smiled at me and pulled me into a small hug before walking back to my parents and Chris.

I stood rooted to the spot for a moment staring at the folded up piece of paper grasped in my hand before walking to the closet chair and sitting down. I took a few deep breaths and began to read.

_Dear Mum and Dad,_

_Wow. I don't even know how to begin this so I guess I'm just going to start it off with a question._

_Have you ever been so depressed that it's like you've been thrown into a deep, dark hole with no hope of ever escaping? People always seem to think that depression is just something you can snap out of, but it's not. It stays with you forever. Even in the moments when you're smiling or laughing it's there, lurking in the back of your mind like a dark shadow. Sometimes it gets so bad that it wont let you sleep, or eat, or even feel._

_These past few years I've just felt so numb and lonely. Even though I'm surrounded by people I feel lost and alone. I know I have you guys and my friends who love me and truly care about me, but that can't even help me from feeling constantly alone. It's like this icy fog has settled on me and turned me completely numb. _

_There has always been this tiny voice at the back of my head that always tells me that I'm not good enough and that I'm worthless so there isn't really any point in trying, and lately it's been getting louder._

_I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner, but I felt ashamed and weak. I wish I didn't feel this way and I wish I was stronger than this, but I'm not. And honestly, I'm just too tired to fight my demons anymore._

_I'm so sorry I let them win. Please don't think of me any differently, and please don't ever blame yourself. You couldn't have done anything to stop me. Even if you were home tonight, even if I displayed any of the usual warning signs, it would have happened eventually. My fate was inevitable. _

_I love you mummy. I love you daddy._

_And Ashley, my dearest Ashley, please don't blame yourself either. I now know that I should have told you instead of you having to find out like that. I should have just told you earlier on in the relationship. I should have known that it would have been impossible to keep something like this a secret in the long run. _

_Everything you said about me was true. I know you're probably thinking that all of this is your fault, but it's not. You deserve better than me Ashley. In fact, someone like you deserves the world. I'm just sorry I couldn't be that person for you._

_I don't want you to blame yourself and I don't want there to be any possibility that you may end up dwelling on my death. If you do somehow end up dwelling, know this: I'm happier Ashley. I don't believe in Heaven or God, but I know that I'll be in a better place. You deserve to be happy too._

_And Ashley, I know this might be too soon to say since we've been dating only a short time, but this is going to be the first and last time I'm ever going to get to tell you, so I'm just going to say it._

_I think I might be starting to fall in love with you Ashley. I hope wherever I'm going; I get to keep the memories that we created together. I was at my happiest in your arms._

_Tell Jake, Jinxx, Sandra, and CC that I'm sorry as well. They were such great friends to me and I honestly feel like I didn't deserve their friendship. Guys, I love you all. Thank you._

_I guess I should probably end this soon. I don't want to keep rambling on and on, and honestly, I'm just so tired and ready to give up and sleep forever._

_I cannot stress enough how this isn't anyone's fault but my own, and how sorry I am for not being strong enough._

_And I'm not an expert on what happens after you die… So maybe this isn't goodbye after all, but just a simple, short goodnight._

_I love you all._

_Andy Biersack_

Tears were running down my cheeks as I got to the end of the letter. I had to reread it two more times before I could fully understand the words I was seeing in front of me.

While I was being a fucking horrible boyfriend and telling Andy how worthless he was because he self harmed to deal with everything he was going through emotionally, he was starting to fall in love with me?

What the fuck have I done?

I folded up the letter neatly before I managed to completely ruin it with my tears and set it down on the chair beside me.

"I think I'm starting to maybe love you too, Andy. Please be okay baby. I need you." I whispered softly before putting my head in my hands and started sobbing.

_**A/N: Chapter nineteen guys! Man, that took a long time to write. I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE WHEN IT'S REALLY NOT THAT GREAT OF A CHAPTER. I feel bad. :(**_

_**Anyway, please please please tell me what you think of this chapter and the story thus far. Your comments make me extremely happy inside, and any criticism I receive makes me happy too because it can and will improve my writing. **_

_**I LOVE YOU ALL, and thank you to everyone who has supported me. 3**_

_**See you guys next chapter! xoxo**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

I was still sat in the chair in the waiting room, head buried in my hands, when we heard a muffled announcement from the PA system. Since there were no speakers in the actual waiting room, we couldn't hear what the person was saying, but after the voice stopped speaking, there was a lot of rushing coming from behind the double doors that lead to the IC unit.

I told myself firmly that there were a lot of other patients in there and that it probably had nothing to do with Andy, but there was a sense of pure dread forming in my stomach. My fears were confirmed when a nurse walked into the waiting room twenty minutes later.

"Mr and Mrs Biersack?" She called. I saw Amy and Chris give each other worried glances, but stood up to go talk to her.

"You're Andy Biersack's parents, correct?" She asked, looking from Amy to Chris slowly. Amy nodded.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news. Would we be able to speak somewhere private?"

Chris looked over to his wife before shaking his head slowly. "Everyone here is really close to my son. Would it be possible for you to speak with all of us?"

The nurse paused. By the look of the inner-conflict that was displayed on her face, it was obviously against the rules to speak to anyone but the family of the patient. After a moment though, her face relaxed and she gave Chris a small smile. "Of course sir."

The rest of us gathered around the nurse, Amy, and Chris. The nurse looked at each one of us before saying:

"It isn't looking good. Andy just had a cardiac arrest and we barely managed to get him stable." The nurse paused.

"And now?" I asked quietly. The nurse looked at me, but then looked away again.

"He's stable for now. However, the pills that he took were psychoactive drugs, which targets the central nervous system." The nurse paused again and looked at Andy's parents.

"What does this mean for Andy?" Amy whispered when the nurse remained silent.

"It means that Andy is currently in a coma, and we don't know if he's going to wake up."

- Time lapse; Two weeks –

A loud beeping sound brought me out of my sleep. It took a couple moments for my tired brain to figure out what was going on, but when it finally did, I groaned loudly. It was 7:00am. The fact that it was so early in the morning didn't exactly bug me; since Andy tried to commit suicide I wasn't sleeping properly anymore. In fact, I would be lucky to get maybe two or three hours of sleep a night. No, what bugged me was that it was 7:00am on a Monday morning, which happened to be the day that my mum was forcing me to go back to school.

I missed all of last week due to Andy's hospitalization, but this week my mum figured I had enough time to mourn and figure my shit out. I personally didn't think it was, but my mum wouldn't have any of it. According to Sandra, news of Andy's suicide attempt had spread like wildfire around school and Justin and the rest of the Populars just loved it. Justin spent nearly all of his time harassing Sandra, Jinxx, Jake and CC to the point of tears, but thankfully he was still only using his words to hurt and not his fists.

I sighed and contemplated on pretending to be sick, but then thought better of it; Mum would know that I would be faking it. Besides, I kind of wanted to go to school and see everyone.

I rolled over with yawn and turned off my alarm clock before throwing my blankets off of me. I dragged myself out of bed and to the bathroom. Ignoring the mess, I began to undress, hissing as my long sleeved shirt grazed my cuts from last night.

Oh, I guess I forgot to mention that I also became the thing I hated the most: a hypocrite. I've always hated people who self harmed because I thought that they were just attention seeking cunts, but then I started self-harming and realised that I was so very wrong. It helps by turning the emotional pain that you can't control into pain that you can control. It was one of the best coping methods that I have ever known. Well, for a brief period of time. The relief is short lived and after that the emotional pain comes back full force, along with guilt and self hate. Which, of course, only makes you want to cut more. It's a vicious cycle that I got caught up in when I learned that Andy might never wake up again.

"Ashley?" Mum's voice called through the bathroom door, pulling me back from my thoughts. I froze, fear settling in my stomach. I was standing there with my shirt off, my cuts fully exposed.

"Ashley?" Mum called again, this time followed by a sharp knock at the door.

"Yeah, what?" I replied.

"Just wanted to make sure you're awake and getting ready for school."

"Yup." Was my only response. I was still really sour about the fact that I had to go to school today, and she knew it. I heard her sigh from the other side of the door.

"Ashley, moping around all day wont help Andy at all. He would want you to continue living your life."

"Whatever." I muttered, tears filling my eyes. I muttered a quick curse and wiped them away. I was sick of fucking crying. Mum sighed again.

"Can I come in? I don't like having a conversation with you through a door."

"What? Fuck no. Jesus Christ mum, I'm naked." I replied quickly, the feeling of fear returning.

_Don't open the door. Don't open the door._

_Fuck me. Why didn't I lock the fucking door?_

"Fine. But we're talking when you're done." Mum said after a second.

"Like hell we are." I muttered when I heard her walking away. I took one last look in the mirror at my wrists and forearms, taking in the multiple cuts and scars that went well past my elbows, before sighing and getting in the shower.

For the first time in a really long time I didn't care how I looked; it only took me eight minutes to shower, two minutes to get dressed, and only five minutes to do my hair and make up. Usually getting dressed was a complicated process for me, but since my cutting was now worse than ever, I could no longer wear short-sleeved shirts and rely on bracelets or wristbands to cover them up. I now had to hide my secret with jackets and long-sleeved shirts.

I didn't even bother looking in the mirror one last time before grabbing my backpack and walking out my bedroom door. I barely made it down the stairs and to the front door before Mum attacked.

"Ashley, we need to talk."

"No, we don't." I replied bluntly, trying to push my way past her.

"Yes, we do. You're worrying us. You've become so distant ever since Andy…" She trailed off and paused for a moment before clearing her throat to continue. I didn't let her though.

"Of course I'm fucking distant Mum!" I yelled. "Andy is in the fucking hospital and he might not ever wake up!"

"I understand Ash-" She started, but I cut her off again.

"No you fucking don't! Otherwise you wouldn't be harassing me about how distant I've gotten! Like, seriously? Yes I'm fucking distant Mum! I'm fucking sad!" I yelled before shoving past her, slipping on some shoes, and basically running out the door.

I was still angry when I got to school. I had never fought with my mum like that before, and I should have felt horrible about it, but I didn't. I just felt pure anger boiling in my gut and I just felt like hitting something. That's why I avoided everyone when I got to school and just went straight to the bathroom. Since I had taken so little time getting ready this morning and left home as quickly as possible, I still had an hour before classes started.

I sighed heavily and slid down the bathroom stall wall. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on them. The anger suddenly left me and I just felt tired; the defenses I had managed to build up over the past few days to protect me from my emotions shattered. The thought of Andy suddenly filled my mind and I felt tears start to form in my eyes and run down my cheeks. A sob built up in my chest and I slapped away my tears. I didn't want to cry anymore, but the tears wouldn't stop coming. A sob escaped my mouth and I cursed myself under my breath.

After five minutes of crying, I suddenly remembered my best defense against these stupid emotions, and it was hidden away in my backpack. I wiped my nose on my sleeve and grabbed my backpack. I opened it quickly and began to dig frantically in my bag. Finally, my hand found what it was looking for: a small, blue box that once contained my mother's wedding ring, but now contained my razor.

I opened the box and pulled out the silver, metal object. I set down the box and rolled up the sleeve on my left arm, preparing to make the first cut. I felt my breath quicken and could hear my blood pound in my ears. This was the best and the worst part; the build up to making the first cut. It's like reading a book and reaching the moment right before the climax of the story. I pause for a second, almost listening to the part of my brain that was screaming that cutting isn't worth it; that the physical pain isn't going to help with the emotional pain, and that the blooming blood isn't going to relax me, but somehow the whispering coming from the other part of my brain was louder. With shaking hands, I pushed the razor closer to my skin and pulled it along my wrist. Immediately, blood started to bloom from the broken skin and I sighed in relief. I dropped my razor beside me and rested my head against the wall, letting the calming feeling of the blood dripping from my cut wash through me. Not even five seconds later I felt my phone vibrate. I cursed and reached into my pocket with my right hand. It was a text message from Sandra. I went to unlock my phone when I noticed the time. It was already 8:36am. I guess I was too caught up in my own world to realise how long I had sat in the bathroom.

_Hey, where are you? You said you were coming to school today._

I sighed as I read Sandra's text.

_In the bathroom. I'll meet you by the front doors. _

I sent off my reply and put my phone down, leaning my head back against the wall, but the feeling of relief and calm was already gone. I sighed angrily and grabbed my razor off the ground. I contemplated making another cut but decided against it. Instead, I put the razor back in its box and began to clean up my wrist.

"There he is!" I heard Jake call as I walked towards them three minutes later. I forced a smile.

"Hey guys. I told you I'd be back today." I replied when I got closer. "Not that it even matters since I saw you guys over the weekend anyway."

Sandra gave me a small smile. "Still, it's nice to have you back."

I returned the smile and pulled her into a hug. "Wish I could say it's nice to be back." I joked as she pulled away.

I looked over at Jinxx, who was staring at me wearily. "Hey Jinxx," I said; only earning a head nod in response. I sighed inwardly, knowing that Jinxx was still pissed off at me.

"Ashley, can I talk to you for a second?" Jinxx said quietly. I looked at him in confusion but nodded. He turned to the rest of the guys and Sandra. "We'll see you guys at lunch."

CC gave me a confused look, but nodded. "Alright. Come on guys."

I watched as CC, Jake, and Sandra walked away, all of them giving either Jinxx or myself a weird look. I turned to Jinxx.

"What's up?"

"You know exactly what Ashley. What the fuck is this?" He hissed, pointing at my shirt. Stupidly, I didn't clue in right away.

"A shirt?" I responded. It wasn't my intention to come off as sarcastic, but apparently that's exactly how I came off.

"Don't be a sarcastic little cunt Ashley, I can see it's a fucking shirt. That's not what I mean though. What I mean is you never wear long sleeves, ever."

Suddenly I understood. He knew I was cutting.

_Of course he fucking knows you idiot. You went from never wearing bracelets or long sleeves to always covering up your wrists? You're a fucking idiot._

"How could you be so stupid as to not realise I would have fucking noticed?" He said when I remained silent. He paused, waiting for me to say something, but still I was silent. I didn't know what to say.

Jinxx sighed. "When you first started wearing bracelets, I was a little worried but I didn't say anything. I figured, 'Hey, maybe he's just trying something different. I mean, he hates people who cut, so he wouldn't do it himself.' But now I realise I was being stupid."

"Maybe I just wanted to wear long sleeves today Jinxx." I whispered quietly.

"Oh yeah? Well if that's the case, show me your arms. Both of them."

I froze and looked to the ground, letting my hair cover my face.

"Come on Ashley. If there isn't any other reason behind you wearing long sleeves then you should have no problem showing me your arms."

I sighed, tears coming to my eyes. "Fine! I cut myself okay? I was wrong about people who self-harm, I was so wrong." I broke down crying then. I tried to keep talking but I couldn't get the words out.

Surprisingly, I felt Jinxx pull me into a hug. "It's okay Ashley, it's okay. We're all worried about Andy."

"That's not why I cut Jinxx. Not the main reason anyway." I muttered into his chest through my tears.

"What do you mean?" He asked. I pulled away to look at him.

"What I mean is: Andy trying to kill himself isn't the major reason why I resorted to cutting. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely sad, but… I just keep thinking: How pathetic would it be if I cut myself and have suicidal thoughts just because my boyfriend of maybe a month is in the hospital. I don't even know if I love him! Yes, I care deeply for him, but not enough to want to die over it." I said, pulling away to look at Jinxx. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"I still don't understand. It sounds like you're saying you don't give a shit that Andy tried to kill himself."

I shook my head, getting frustrated. "No, not at all. I'm fucking depressed because of that. But… I don't think I would have started cutting if the _reason _he tried to kill himself was different."

Suddenly Jinxx understood. "You're cutting because you think this is your fault… That's what you mean when you say that Andy's hospitalization isn't the main reason… It's not the _fact_ that he's hospitalized but _why_ he was hospitalized." He said slowly. I nodded, but didn't say anything.

"But Ashley, Andy doesn't think it's your faul-" Jinxx started, but I quickly cut him off.

"No, I know. But I think it's my fault, and so do you." Jinxx looked down. "I can't blame you for blaming me because it is my fault. If I would have reacted better, if I didn't say all those horrible things to him, the outcome might have been different. Andy would be standing with us right now, not fighting for his life in the hospital." I paused, my voice breaking. Tears started to fill my eyes but I didn't care anymore.

"It's my fault Andy tried to kill himself, my fault he may never wake up, and because of that everything that is a result of Andy's attempted suicide is my fault too. It's my fault Andy's mum calls my mum every night crying, my fault that Andy's dad gets drunk every single fucking day to deal with the pain. My fault that CC never smiles anymore and Sandra is constantly crying. It's also my fault that you nearly relapsed and started cutting again." I finished in a whisper, looking into Jinxx's eyes. He remained quiet; he didn't know what to say because he agreed with me.

"I don't know what to say Ashley." He whispered finally.

"You don't need to say anything. You asked for the reason why I started cutting myself and I gave you it. I cut because I deserve it."

_**Andy's Point of View**_

I was dreaming of Justin again. Justin had seen my scars that littered both my arms and now he was mocking me, telling me that I was worthless and pathetic.

"No one would miss you." He sneered. "Just go ahead and end it all."

I looked to the floor in defeat. "I tried." I muttered.

Justin laughed. "You're so pathetic you can't even kill yourself properly."

That's when he moved in for the attack. I closed my eyes, trying to prepare myself for the feeling of his fist hitting my face, but it never came. When I opened my eyes I was falling through blackness and I was terrified. I saw blurry images all around me; faces, places, and words, but nothing that I could properly make out. Until I saw _him_.

Ashley was looking at me, but his eyes were different. Normally, his eyes danced with the light of life, but as he looked at me now they just seemed sad and dead. I tried to scream for help but I couldn't and slowly, Ashley's image faded.

Whispers started all around me, filling my ears until I couldn't hear anything else. I couldn't think and I couldn't feel anything except for the dread and the fear that was building up inside me. Then I started to scream because somehow I knew that my fall was going to end soon and that I would hit the ground and cease to exist.

I screamed and screamed and screamed, but no one could hear me. No one wanted to hear me. Tears filled my eyes and I quickly shut them, finally willing to accept that this was the end. That I was going to die.

But when I hit the ground, my body didn't explode with pain. Instead, the blackness started to fade and a bright, white light blinded me. I tried to speak, but I was too tired and my throat hurt too much.

I heard someone say something to me but I couldn't make out what it was; I was already fading back into the black emptiness.

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

The first four classes before lunch passed agonizingly slow. Honestly, I was so tempted to just skip all my classes and go home, but Jinxx had convinced me otherwise.

Finally though, the last period before lunch ended and I rushed out the classroom door and straight to my locker. I stuffed my backpack in there and grabbed some money from my wallet to buy some lunch.

After buying some food, I slowly made my way over to the Outcast's usual lunch table.

"Hey." I said quietly, swinging my leg over the bench so I could sit beside Sandra.

"Hey." She said, mimicking my quiet tone.

"How are you?" I asked. It was a stupid question I know, but I was just trying to make conversation so we wouldn't have to sit in awkward silence waiting for the rest of the guys to join us. I dug into my lunch as she responded.

"Alright. You?" She responded, not looking up from her own food.

I only shrugged in response. As I was about to shove more food into my mouth, my pocket vibrated. I was going to ignore it but it just kept ringing, indicating it was a phone call.

I sighed and fished it out of my pocket, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Hello?" I said after swallowing my mouth full of food.

"Ashley," Mum said quietly from the other side. I groaned inwardly, thinking she was calling to try and continue our conversation from this morning.

"Mum, listen, I understand that you're worried about me but can you please just leave me alo-" I started, but she cut me off.

"No, Ashley. He's awake." She whispered. I froze, my heart jumping into my chest.

"Wh-what?" I replied, feeling numb.

"Andy is awake."

**A/N: Chapter twenty! I know I left it with another cliffhanger… But at least it's a somewhat happy cliffhanger? :D**

**Anyway, so about Andy's point of view: I wanted to add his point of view somewhere in there, so I hope it made a little bit of sense… Maybe? Also, I did a little research and there are a lot of people saying that people in a coma can't dream, but then there are other people, including some researchers, that say that people can dream in a coma? I don't know. I don't know for sure haha, so don't yell at me. 3  
Anyway, please tell me what you think. Comments make me happy. And if you're not happy with the story or my writing… Let me know! And tell me why so I can try and improve.  
See you guys next chapter! Love you all. **

**Cheers! Xoxox.**


	21. Chapter 21

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

"Ashley?" I heard my mum say from over the phone.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah." Was all I managed to get out. My mind was spinning and I was finding it hard to breathe.

"Ashley, what's wrong?" Sandra whispered, but I just waved her away.

"Andy…" I trailed off.

"He's awake hunny. Andy's awake."

"I'm on my way." I said quickly before hanging up. I turned to Sandra and the rest of the guys who had showed up during my call with Mum.

"Ashley, what's going on?" Jinxx asked.

"Andy's awake. We should get to the hospital." I responded as I was standing up. Without making sure they were following me, I made my way to my locker and grabbed my bag. I started to walk towards the front door when I heard running behind me.

"Ashley! Wait!"

I turned around and saw all four of my friends running after me. I paused and waited for them to catch up with me.

"Come on." Jake said, grabbing my shoulder when he had reached me. "Let's go see Andy."

_**Andy's Point of View**_

I was awoken by an annoying, continuous beeping noise. At first, I inwardly groaned, thinking it was my alarm clock waking me up for school; until I remembered everything that happened.

Ashley finding out that I cut. Ashley telling me that I was worthless. Jinxx coming over to try and comfort me. My attempted suicide.

This time I let out a real groan, or at least tried to. There was something down my throat.

"Easy there, sweetie." I heard a voice say. I opened my eyes to see whom the voice belonged to, but instantly shut them. The room I was in was blinding after being trapped in darkness for God knows how long.

Suddenly, I panicked. I knew I was in the hospital, but I didn't know how long I was in here for. I felt arms hold me down when I started flailing.

"Calm down, Andy. Stop. Andy, you're going to injure yourself further if you don't stop." The voice said sternly. I stopped moving and opened my eyes to a squint. Standing above me, still holding both my arms, was a woman.

She looked to be in her late thirties or early forties. Even though she wasn't technically that old she had streaks of grey in her brown hair and her eyes looked tired and almost sad, making her look older. When she saw my eyes open, she gave me a small smile.

"It's good to see your eyes open." She said, letting go of me. I tried to talk, to ask her what happened and how long I was out, but the stupid tube in my throat stopped me again.

"Don't try to talk. I'll go get the doctor so he can take the breathing tube out of your throat. Just try and get some rest." She told me before turning off the lights and walking away.

I let out a mental sigh and shut my eyes, not thinking I was tired, but obviously my exhausted body disagreed because as soon as I closed my eyes, I passed out.

When I woke up again the first thing I noticed was that I was in pain. Both my arms hurt, my throat hurt, and my stomach was killing me. I groaned softly.

"It didn't work." I whispered, tears coming to my eyes from the mix of pain and the fact that I was still alive.

"I'm glad it didn't." I heard someone say softly beside me. I opened my eyes quickly and turned my head to the side. There, sitting in a chair beside me was Ashley, staring at me with sad eyes. Beside him on either side were Jinxx, Jake, Sandra, and CC.

"Hey guys." I muttered, trying to sit up. I winced when my effort put a strain on my wrists.

"Don't move too much, Andy. You're probably weak." Jinxx said, giving me a worried smile.

"How long was I out for?" I asked.

"About two weeks." Sandra replied quietly. I looked at her in shock and she gave me a tired, forced smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore." I muttered.

"Well, you did have your stomach pumped and a breathing tube shoved down your throat." CC joked, earning a punch from Sandra.

"Can you be a little more sensitive?" She muttered angrily.

I tried to shake my head, but decided against it when I began to feel lightheaded. "No, he doesn't need to be; I scared you guys. Plus, I kinda want to know what happened since I can't remember anything."

"Anything?" Ashley asked quietly, looking at the ground.

"Well," I replied more harshly than I meant to. "Anything after my attempted suicide."

Ashley just nodded. We fell into an awkward silence until there was a soft knock at the door. I looked over and saw Mum and Dad walk in, smiling at me.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling?" Mum asked, walking over to my bed.

"Alright," I replied. I turned to the guys and Sandra. "Can we have a moment?"

They nodded and Ashley got up.

"See you later babe." He said quietly. I just nodded once in reply.

Why the hell was I acting so cold towards him? I remember writing my suicide letter and saying I didn't blame him so why was I acting like an ass now?

_You're just tired Andy. You feel like shit and you're in pain._

Even though I tried to convince myself that was the only reason, deep down I knew it was something different.

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

As I walked out of the room with Sandra and the guys I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. Never has Andy been so cold towards me before. I knew that he was probably tired and sore as fuck, but he at least made an effort with the others; giving them weak smiles and more than one-worded replies even though it clearly hurt him to do so.

He said he didn't blame me in his letter but honestly, his actions were saying different. Jinxx pulled me aside when we got into the waiting room.

"What's up?" He asked, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed against his chest. Ever since our talk this morning about my cutting he was acting a lot friendlier towards me. We were almost back to the way things were before I found out about Andy cutting.

I sighed and looked down. "Andy is acting… Off." I replied quietly.

Jinxx chuckled darkly. "He's probably exhausted Ash. His body has been through a lot the past two weeks."

I nodded. "I know. But… I just have a really bad feeling about this."

Jinxx paused for a second. "Well, after Andy's parents are done talking to him and if Andy isn't too tired, we'll let you go speak to him alone."

"Okay," I whispered, suddenly really nervous. "Thanks Jinxxy."

_**Andy's Point of View**_

There were a lot of tears during my visit with Mum and Dad, which was quite understandable considering what they had to go through. I couldn't really bring myself to care though, as horrible as that sounds; I was just too tired and too disappointed that I was still alive.

Eventually, Mum and Dad left. I was still really tired but no longer sore since I was being pumped full of morphine. Not even ten minutes after my parents left, Ashley came in to see me.

"Hey baby." He said quietly when he entered the room. "Are you tired?"

"Yeah." I responded. My voice sounded rough and dry so I cleared my throat to try and make it so I didn't sound so stupid. "But we need to talk."

As soon as I said those words, Ashley froze and turned pale. He recovered soon though and forced a smile, pulling a chair closer to my bed.

"Okay, let's talk." He said as he sat down.

I hesitated. Did I really want to do this and lose what could very well be the best thing that has happened to me in a long time?

_You need to, Andy._

With that thought in mind, I hardened my heart.

"I can't do this anymore Ash." I whispered.

Ashley's face fell, but just a bit. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I can't be with you anymore. Just… After what happened the day you found out I cut… It hurt, and I can't go through that again. I'm not strong enough."

"But… You said you didn't blame me." He whispered, tears filling his eyes.

"I didn't, and I still don't. I blame myself for not being strong enough. For letting my own mind talk me into suicide. You just happened to be the trigger."

"I'm so sorry Andy! I didn't mean anything that I said. I was just scared and angry an-"

I cut him off there, feeling myself getting angry. "You were scared? Ashley I was terrified to tell you! And apparently I had every God damn right to be, seeing how you treated me after you found out."

"I was wrong." He whispered, tears streaming down his face.

"Yes. You were wrong. What finally made you realise this?" I asked harshly, looking away from him so I wouldn't back down. "Was it my suicide?"

"Yes and no." He responded quietly after a second.

"Meaning?"

"I… I started cutting myself after we found out you went into a coma and might not wake up."

I looked at him in shock. He couldn't be serious, right? He gave me hell for self-harming and then he started? What the fuck?

"I was wrong about everything Andy. I now know that you didn't ever do it for attention; that it actually does help." He continued quietly when I didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry Ashley, but this doesn't change anything. I made up my mind."

I guess in a way it did change things, because he actually understands my addiction now, but at the same time it changed nothing. What if he reacted the exact same way if he found out about my eating disorder? I couldn't go through this again, I couldn't put my friends and family through this again.

"But… In your letter you said you were starting to maybe love me." Ashley whispered through his tears.

"I know. And now I realise that I wasn't starting to _maybe _love you…" I said, pausing because I didn't know how to word what I was trying to say properly.

"What do you mean?" He asked when I didn't say anything else.

"I mean I already do love you. I love you a fucking lot. I love you Ashley Purdy." I said, looking him in the eyes. My own eyes started to fill with tears as I spoke.

"Then stay with me. I know I fucked up big time, but I-I love you too Andy. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you." He reached to grab my hand but I pulled it away, my stitches on my wrist protesting against the sudden movement.

"I can't Ashley."

"But if you love me-" He started, but I cut him off.

"I do love you, which is why it'll be better for me if I end things now. If you ever pulled something like that again, I wouldn't be able to handle it; I would snap again. My body wouldn't be able to handle going through this again and I would die. I can't put my friends and family through that."

"I wouldn't pull something like that again." He whispered. "I promise."

I just shook my head. "You broke my trust. I can't risk it Ashley, I'm sorry, but I really can't do this anymore. I-I'm breaking up with you."

Ashley sat frozen in his chair for a moment, tears running down his cheeks. "I guess if that's what you really want…" He stopped then looked at me. "There's nothing I can do to change your mind?"

Again, I shook my head. "This… isn't the only reason why I'm breaking up with you. It's the main reason, but not the only reason."

"What's the other one?"

I looked at him dead in the eyes when I answered him. "Because I think I like someone else. Someone who is better for me and who won't ever do this to me. I'm sorry Ashley. I'm so sorry."

**A/N: I'm so fucking sorry for leaving you guys with another cliffhanger! Like, you have no idea how bad I feel haha. But my editor said that it's best if I just leave it at that for this chapter. I'm sorry! Blame her. ;)  
Anyway, like always, comment and let me know how I'm doing. Honestly, since I'm such a lazy person, comments make me update faster. They really do because otherwise I really have no motivation…  
So let me know how I'm doing!  
I love you guys, and I'm sorry again.  
But thank you for sticking with me for this long!  
Love you, and I'll see you guys in the next chapter!**

**Cheers! xoxo**


	22. Chapter 22

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

I looked at Andy in shock, the hurt clearly displayed on my face.

"You… You like someone else?" I finally managed to choke out after a moment of silence.

"Yes. I'm really sorry Ashy." He muttered, looking quickly away from me, blinking rapidly. He was clearly trying to hold back tears, which told me that this was hurting him just as much as it was hurting me; but knowing that didn't make me feel any better. In fact, even hearing him use his nickname for me sent what felt like a thousand knives straight into my heart.

I cleared my throat. "Who is the lucky guy? Or girl I guess."

Andy gave me a weird look. "Does it matter Ashley?"

I gave a small, weak shrug. "No, I guess not. But I would really like to know…"

Andy was quiet for a moment, looking down at his hands. "Well, I guess you'll find out later anyway. I like Jinxx, Ashley."

_Jinxx? No, no. This seriously couldn't be happening. I was losing Andy to one of my closest friends?_

"Ji-Jin-Jinxx?" I choked, tears running down my face. "Since when?"

Andy just shrugged a little but remained silent. For a moment I thought he was going to ignore my question, but soon he began to speak.

"That day you told off Kina for cutting. I started to realise I had feelings for him then. At first, I felt really guilty and tried to ignore them because I was really happy with you… But after all this happened I just realised that…" He trailed off.

"That he's the better option because he 'understands you'." I spat out.

Andy paused, but then decided to ignore my tone and just nodded. Suddenly I thought back to that day I yelled at Kina. Andy ran to the bathroom, clearly upset, and Jinxx soon followed after him. After that day, I realised that they had suddenly gotten closer. I didn't notice it then, but looking back now, I should have. The secret looks, the sitting next to each other whenever possible, bursting into random laughing fits over jokes they only knew… It was so fucking obvious that something was going on there.

_Why didn't I fucking see it?_

"Was there-" I started before my voice cracked. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Was there anything going on between you and Jinxx when we were still together?"

Andy shook his head. "I knew I liked him, but that was about it. But he, uh, I… We nearly kissed that day before you came in to check on me."

I just nodded, too hurt and shocked to do anything else.

_At least he's being honest with me… _I thought to myself.

_Probably because he doesn't have anything to lose now that he's dumping you. _Another part of my brain hissed. Instantly, tears began to drip down my face again.

"So, I guess this is it?" I muttered, looking down at my shoes. I heard Andy move a bit in his bed and felt his gaze land upon me.

"I still want to be friends, Ashy."

I shook my head, holding back a sob. "I love you too much to be just friends."

"You have to get over me Ashley, just like I have to get over you."

I looked up at him, pleading with my eyes. "You don't have to. We can still work this out."

Andy shook his head, looking away from me. "I'm sorry, but I do. I do have to get over you because loving you isn't good for me."

I nodded, a sob building up in my chest. I stood up suddenly, making Andy jump a little bit. I looked at him one last time before rushing out of the room and into the waiting room sobbing. Almost immediately, Jinxx was beside me.

"Ashley, what's wrong? Did something happen to Andy?"

I shook my head and buried my head into his chest when he pulled me into a hug.

"What is it?" I heard Sandra ask from somewhere on my left. Again, I remained silent, my sobs making it impossible for me to speak. Jinxx led me over to the chairs and sat me down, still holding me as I cried.

Eventually, I calmed down and pulled away.

"What happened?" Jinxx whispered.

"He broke up with me." I muttered, feeling another sob build up inside me. I pushed it away though.

"What? Why?" Jake asked me. I directed my answer to Jinxx, never looking away from his eyes.

"Because I broke his trust. He said that being with me isn't good for him. He basically told me I don't deserve him, which I guess is true. That isn't the only reason though; he…" I trailed off, my voice breaking as tears threatened to fall again. My friends remained silent as I struggled to regain my composure.

"He… Likes someone else too." I managed to get out.

"What? Oh Ashley…" Sandra whispered, putting her hand on mine.

"Did he say who?" Jinxx asked quietly, still looking me dead in the eyes.

"Yeah." I replied shortly. "You."

_- Time lapse; about three weeks -_

I looked up from my lunch and over to where Andy sat with Jake, CC, Sandra, and Jinxx; Andy was giggling, leaning on Jinxx's shoulder. I looked back down, tears springing to my eyes.

It had been three and a half weeks since Andy broke up with me. In that time, he was released from the hospital after they decided he was no longer a danger to himself. I knew that he still very well could be, and that he was still probably self-harming, but he was still currently under constant watch so I guess it was okay. He had also been ordered to attend counseling sessions twice a week, which he wasn't very happy about at all, but he at least understood why they were mandatory.

Also in those three weeks, Andy and Jinxx had gotten together. I don't even know how it happened because I had cut myself off from everyone after Andy broke up with me. I just know that one day at school I saw Jinxx and Andy kiss each other goodbye before heading to class. Seeing that had hurt a lot, as expected. I wasn't over Andy then or now. Not by a long shot.

I heard Andy's laugh fill the courtyard again and tears blurred my vision. I wiped them away angrily, sick of fucking crying, but they wouldn't stop coming. I stood up and quickly grabbed my backpack, not bothering to throw away my untouched food, and walked as fast as I could to the bathroom. I pushed open the door hard enough so that it slammed into the wall and basically ran in, dropping my backpack to the ground and I leaned against the sink.

I looked into the mirror, taking in my smudged makeup and bloodshot eyes. I breathed in deeply, only to be overcome with more sobs.

"Just one cut." I whispered to my reflection. "Just one cut."

One cut turned into two, two cuts turned into three, and three turned into seventeen. I looked down at my bloody arm and dropped my razor to the ground. I took a deep, shaky breath and leaned my head back against the bathroom stall wall, closing my eyes.

To think, only about a month ago I was the happiest guy in the world; I had great friends and a beautiful boyfriend. Now I had no one. You could have said I was an Outcast, but even they had turned on me.

I thought back to the conversation I had with myself after I had found out that Andy cuts. I had called myself an Outlaw because there was no other word to describe what I was. My eyes shot open and I grabbed my razor again. Lifting up my shirt so that my stomach was exposed, I pressed the sharp object into my skin and began cutting again. Eventually, I dropped the razor and looked down to admire my work. In shaky, bloody letters, I had written the word 'Outlaw' across my stomach.

"Now you'll never forget what you are." I whispered.

_- Time Lapse; Two weeks -_

Despite what people tell you to cheer you up, things don't get better with time. Instead of time healing my wounds, it has just made them progressively worse. In a short time Jinxx and Andy had gotten closer than Andy and myself ever were. It may be because for the better part of our relationship Andy was in the hospital in a coma while Andy and Jinxx never left each other's side.

"Hey, Ash." I heard someone say, pulling me out of my thoughts. I finished pulling my backpack out of my locker, closed it, and turned around, coming face to face with Sandra.

"Hey." I said quietly, looking down.

"How are you?" She asked quietly. I just shrugged.

"Me too. It sucks you know, seeing Andy and Jinxx together like that."

"You're preaching to the choir." I told her bluntly, not looking up.

"I know. It's just… Nice for someone to understand how I feel I guess. The guys still don't know that I like him."

I didn't say anything. I had nothing to say to her. Sure, whenever I saw CC, Jake or Sandra in the halls we would say hi, but other than that none of us would speak to each other. I had cut myself off from them for a reason, and I hated the fact that Sandra was trying to pull me back in.

"What do you want Sandra?" I asked tiredly, looking up at her.

"To talk to you. I miss you." She said, looking hurt.

"I cut myself off from you guys for a reason, and you guys didn't seem to care at all, so why start now?" I started to turn away, but she grabbed my arm.

"I need someone to talk to, Ashley. I'm starting to go insane."

I shook her off, starting to get angry. "How long as it been Sandra? Two years? Maybe it's fucking time for you to get over him. He doesn't like you like that, and by the looks of it, he never will. Get over it and leave me alone."

I left her, looking close to tears, and stormed off to my next class. I was five minutes early, as usual. I gave Ms Chip a forced smile and took my seat at the back of the class. As soon as I sat down I put my head in my hands. Why the hell I took my anger out on Sandra I didn't know; all I knew was that what she said pissed me off to the point where all my built up emotions came rushing out as anger. It was like she was standing too close to a ticking time bomb.

I sighed heavily and rubbed my hand over my face, being somewhat careful to not smudge my eye makeup, and pulled out a paper and a pen from my backpack. As I was doing so, the bell went and students began filing into class. Andy came in five seconds after the bell went, earning a death glare from our teacher. Surprisingly however, she didn't say anything. He just smirked at her and took his seat at the back of the class, next to me, which was also a surprise considering he had been sitting up at the front of the class lately to try and avoid me.

"Hey Ashy." He whispered as he sat down. I didn't answer him and just concentrated on writing down whatever bullshit Ms Chip was writing on the board. I heard Andy sigh but I still didn't acknowledge his presence.

"Ashley, come on. I told you I still wanted to be friends… I miss having you around." He whispered, leaning closer to me.

"Andrew, Ashley. Lunchtime was five minutes ago. Either continue your conversation in the office, or be quiet." Ms Chip snapped.

I looked down in shame, feeling my cheeks becoming inflamed with embarrassment. Andy however lifted his chin higher.

"Fine." He said loudly, standing up. I flinched when his movement caused his chair to squeak across the ground. The room fell silent, all eyes on Andy and myself. Ms Chip looked shocked, her mouth opening and closing in what would have been a comical fashion if the situation were different. Never had Andy spoken out like this before. I looked up at him, his bright blue eyes alit with the flames of determination, and they were looking right at me.

"Come on Ashley." He said in his deep voice. I swallowed hard, trying to repress my tears. I still wasn't over Andy and, if I was being completely honest, I liked this new, 'not taking anymore shit' attitude that Andy had developed; it was fucking hot. Still, as much as I really wanted to go with him, I shook my head.

"Ashley. Let's go." Andy growled but still, I shook my head, not looking up at him.

"Both of you. Out. Now." Ms Chip demanded.

I looked up at her in shock, about to protest, but she just cut me off.

"Now Purdy."

I angrily stood up, gathering my papers and shoving them into my backpack. I grabbed it, my face still red with embarrassment and glared at Ms Chip as I stormed out of the room without another word, Andy following closely behind. Before he left the room, he turned to look back at Ms Chip.

"Later Chippy!" He said cheerfully before walking out and slamming the door in the process.

I turned to him, anger building up in my chest. "What the fuck was that?" I nearly shouted.

"The fuck was what?" He smirked, leaning against some lockers.

"That little stunt you pulled in there." I hissed.

"I wanted to talk to you and I couldn't do that with Ms Chip telling us to shut up." He shrugged, the smirk never leaving his face.

"Did you ever fucking think that I don't want to talk to you?"

At my question, the smirk finally did leave his face and he grew serious. "I still want to be friends Ashley."

"Well I don't. How can I be friends with you when I still fucking love you but you're with Jinxx?"

He looked down. "You need to get over me Ashy."

I crossed my arms across my chest and gave him a humorless laugh. "Easier said than done, Bright Eyes."

Andy flinched. "Please don't call me that." He whispered.

I just shrugged. "Don't call me Ashy then."

He was silent for a moment before he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "What can I do to make things better between us? I miss you Ashley."

"There isn't anything you can do. And to be honest, I don't care. I wasn't good enough for you. I wasn't _good_ for you apparently."

"You were Ashley. Just… I couldn't risk you doing that to me again. I wouldn't… I wouldn't be able to handle it." He replied quietly.

"I told you I wouldn't. I fucked up, I get it. But… Fuck. I don't know." I shook my head and started to walk towards the school entrance.

"Ashley, where are you going?" I heard Andy call from behind me.

"Home." I replied, not stopping.

"You can't, you still have classes."

"I don't care anymore." I said. It was a lie, I did care, but I couldn't handle being here anymore.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow then?" I heard him ask, running up behind me. I turned around.

"Just leave me alone Andy." I said, trying to hold back tears. "I don't want to be friends. I still love you and I don't need you rubbing your relationship with Jinxx in my face." I shook my head again and turned away.

"Ashley…"

"Just fuck off Andy." I said before running out of the school, tears streaming down my face.

_- Time Lapse; A day -_

_**Andy's Point of View**_

"Jiiiiiiinxx." I whined, pulling gently on his hand. "I don't understand why you're making me walk to school."

Jinxx chuckled and squeezed my hand. "Because it's a nice day Andy. Besides, walking is good for you. And don't give me that face! It won't work."

I jokingly sighed. "Fiine."

We walked in a comfortable silence for a few moments. I looked over at Jinxx and smiled. I was really happy with Jinxx and although I did still care about Ashley and felt guilty about dumping him, it was probably for the best.

"Fuck." Jinxx muttered, pulling me away from my thoughts. I looked up at him, confused.

"What?"

Jinxx didn't respond but instead just nodded to something just around the corner. Justin was there with some of his friends, laughing at someone they had in the middle of their circle.

"Well hell." I hissed.

"Do you want to cross the road to try and avoid them?" Jinxx asked. I nodded, not taking my eyes off of Justin's back. We were about to cross the road when Justin moved and I caught a glimpse of whom they were picking on. My heart began to race and my eyes widened.

"Ashley." I whispered, letting go of Jinxx's hand and rushed towards the group.

"Leave him the fuck alone!" I shouted. Justin turned around and smirked when he saw me.

"Ah, Andy. Just the guy we were looking for." He said, his smirk growing larger. Huh, I didn't think he actually knew my name considering he always called me 'faggot' or something else along those lines.

"I said leave him alone." I growled. Justin let out a cold chuckle, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Well you see, I would, but I can't." He responded, his friends letting out low laughs. I narrowed my eyes, knowing he was trying to bait me. He stood there smirking and I let out a sigh.

"And why is that exactly?" I asked between clenched teeth, feeling Jinxx come up and stand beside me. I felt him graze my hand with his fingertips, but he didn't make a move to hold my hand. Justin's eyes flickered to our hands that were inches apart and then back up to my face.

"Ah, I was hoping you'd ask. But first, is this your new boyfriend? He's even more ugly than the last faggot." He said laughing, using his head to jester back at Ashley.

I felt my hands ball up into fists but ignored his question. "Let Ashley go."

"No. You see, you filthy faggot, you got me suspended. I told you were going to pay for doing that. I was just going to beat the living shit out of you until you wished you were dead, but then I came up with a better idea." He paused, giving me a cruel smile.

"And what, pray tell, is that 'brilliant' idea?" I asked sarcastically when he remained silent.

"Well, what better way to hurt you than to beat the shit out of the person you care about the most?" He laughed again.

I felt my blood run cold when I understood whom he meant – Ashley.

"W-we're not dating anymore." I whispered, inwardly cursing myself for stuttering.

Justin rolled his eyes. "Clearly, considering you and faggy boy over there are glued to each other's hips." He replied, nodding his head to Jinxx. "But despite what you may tell him… You're still in love with Ashley."

I felt Jinxx freeze beside me as Justin finished talking. I looked sideways at Jinxx and saw him look at me, a look of shock, hurt and betrayal displayed clearly on his face.

I remained silent and looked down, not knowing what to say to reassure Jinxx because I knew it was true. I was still madly in love with Ashley.

"But… How could you…?" I heard Jinxx whisper after a moment. "You promised me you didn't love him anymore… That you loved me."

I looked at Jinxx, tears forming in my eyes. "I do love you Jinxx. I'm sorry for lying to you. Just…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say. Jinxx looked down, tears dripping off the end of his nose and shuffled a bit away from me.

Justin laughed, looking between myself and Jinxx. "As I said. You still love him, which makes this," He turned and punched Ashley hard in the gut, causing Ashley to bend over in pain, gasping for air. "Even more enjoyable because," He kneed Ashley in the face. "It hurts both of you at the same time." He pushed Ashley to the ground and kicked him in the chest, laughing, and then motioned for his friends to pick him up and hold him.

Justin's friends wasted no time in listening to his command. They dragged Ashley to his feet by his hair, causing him to let out a yelp.

"Stop it!" I yelled, rushing forward. Justin whipped around and backhanded me across the face causing me to stop in my tracks, dazed. There was a slight ringing in my ears and I brought my hand up to my face.

"Hold him." Justin growled to one of his friends that was standing off to the side. The kid smirked and rushed forward, holding both my arms behind my back. I struggled against his grip, but the guy was much stronger than I was so my efforts proved useless. I was forced to watch as Ashley was repeatedly punched and kicked in the face and stomach.

"Stop! Please! Fucking stop!" I cried. I turned to look at my boyfriend that was standing off to the side, watching the beating with an emotionless expression on his face. "Jinxx," I begged. "Please, do something. Stop them."

Jinxx slowly turned his head to look at me, tears still falling from his eyes. After a moment's hesitation, he shook his head.

"No." He whispered, breaking eye contact with me to look at the ground.

"Wh-what?" I stuttered.

"I said no." Jinxx said a bit louder, still not looking at me. "What am I supposed to do? I can't stop them. Besides, this doesn't involve me. This is between you, Justin and Ashley." He spat. "I'm not getting involved. I refuse to get involved."

That took me by surprise. What the fuck was his problem? "Jinxx! He's your friend too!" I cried.

"Yeah, and maybe this makes me an ass hole. But I'm not fucking getting involved."

"Jinxx, if this is about me still having feelings for Ashley…" I trailed off. He just shrugged.

"You lied to me Andy. You said you were over him. You said you wanted nothing to do with him and that you were glad you dumped him because of what he did to you." He paused and looked back up at me, his blue-grey eyes boring into mine. "Doesn't matter. What matters is that this is your problem. It's your fault Ashley is getting beaten up right now, so it's your job to help him. Go on Andy, go protect your true love." With that, Jinxx gave me one last cold look and continued walking to school.

"Jinxx!" I called, tears pouring down my face. "Jinxx wait! Please!"

I heard Justin chuckle and turned my head to face him. He had stopped beating on Ashley to watch the exchange between Jinxx and I.

"He's right you know. It is your fault. If you had kept your mouth shut, poor little Ashley wouldn't be in this little situation right now." He let out another laugh and turned away from me, leaning towards Ashley to whisper in his ear.

"I told you I would have no problem turning on you if you turned into a fag." I heard him say. Justin spat in his face and pulled back his arm, preparing for another punch.

His fist connected with Ashley's temple with a great force and Ashley instantly went limp, a small moan escaping his lips before he stopped moving. The kids that were holding him made sure he was still upright while Justin continued delivering blow after blow.

"Stop! You're going to kill him!" I cried, struggling against the guy that was holding me.

"Good." Justin muttered before punching Ashley twice more in the face. He then turned to me and smirked. "Come on guys, let's leave the two fags alone… for now."

The two guys holding Ashley let him go, causing Ashley to drop to the ground, landing with a sickening thud as his head hit the pavement. The guy let me go and ran to catch up with Justin and his other friends, spitting on Ashley's unconscious body as he walked passed. Immediately, I ran to Ashley and dropped to my knees beside him.

"Ashley," I whispered, tears pouring down my face. "Ash, oh my god, wake up. Please fucking wake up."

Ashley didn't respond. Blood was pouring out of his nose and both eyes already had bruises forming around them. He had multiple cuts across his face, no doubt from Justin's football ring he always wore. I shook Ashley, feeling myself becoming hysterical.

"Ashley! Please! I can't lose you!" I screamed, shaking him. Still, he didn't respond.

I heard a door open on a house from across the street and looked up. A man wearing a business suit walked out of his house. He hadn't noticed us yet because he was looking at his phone, swinging his car keys around on his finger.

"Help us!" I called, my voice shaky with the hysteria. The guy jumped, clearly startled by my shouting and looked up. When he saw Ashley and myself, he dropped his phone in surprise.

"Are you guys alright?" He asked, running towards us.

I shook my head. "Please, call someone. Help him." I whispered. The guy stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Ashley cradled in my arms, standing completely still for a moment before recovering and running back to where he had dropped his phone on his front steps.

"Stay there." He called over his shoulder. "I'm calling an ambulance."

I looked back down at Ashley, his head resting in my lap. "Stay with me Ashley. Please, stay with me." I whispered, tears dripping off the end of my nose and landing on his face. Slowly, I leaned down and kissed his forehead softly. "I'm so sorry Ashy."

_**A/N: Finally. Chapter 22. I'm so sorry this took so long to write even though it's not my best chapter. I'm not really happy with it to be honest. Anyway, I just moved home from my first year at university and I've been stupidly busy lately. Plus, some personal drama happened and all that nice crap so… Haha yeah. Blah blah.**_

_**ANYWAY; let me know what you guys think. Comments are always lovely and they still always manage to make me smile like an idiot for the rest of the day. :) You guys are the best readers ever. See you guys next chapter! Cheers! **_

_**xoxo**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**Andy's point of view**_

"The ambulance is on its way." The guy said walking back to Ashley and I while sliding his phone into his suit's pocket. I nodded, unable to speak. I wanted to thank him for staying and helping us even though he was probably going to be late for work because of it, but the words got stuck in my throat. Ashley was still lying unconscious with his head in my lap, and I was grasping his hand like my life depended on it, silently pleading for him to wake up and be okay.

"What happened?" The guy asked quietly, kneeling beside me. I stayed silent for a moment. I really didn't want to tell him since he was a stranger and I have major trust issues, but I decided he deserved to know since he seemed to be legitimately concerned.

"We get bullied a lot by almost everyone at school. The ones who don't bully us just tend to pretend we don't exist. It's not so bad because most of the bullying is just name-calling or whatever, and we can handle that. In fact, most of the time we just think it's funny because of how pathetic it is…" I trailed off, realising that I was rambling on, and the guy probably didn't want to hear my life's story. I cleared my throat and continued, still not looking away from Ashley's face. "Point is, most of it is just name-calling, but there is a certain group of people who take the bullying too far."

"You mean they physically bully you and your friend?" The guy asked when I didn't continue.

"Me and my friends." I corrected him quietly. I saw the guy nod slowly out of the corner of my eye.

"So, is that what happened to your friend then?"

I nodded after a moment's hesitation. "My friends and I went to the office to report the guy who actually is the one who beats us. We managed to get him suspended for a week. I thought that it was going to be okay after that because when his suspension ended he just stuck to verbally bullying us. I guess I was wrong though. This is all my fault." My voice cracked at the end, a new wave of tears escaping my eyes and running down my cheeks.

"Why is that?" The guy asked softly.

I paused for a moment to try and regain my composer. "Because I was the one who went to the office and told on Justin. If I had just left it alone and kept my fucking mouth shut, Ashley wouldn't have gotten targeted by Justin to try and hurt me."

"Why would this Justin go after Ashley to try and hurt you? Is he your brother or something?"

I shook my head, glancing up at him. "I just really care about him and Justin knows that."

Thankfully, the guy just nodded, not pressuring me to elaborate. We remained silent for a moment, staring down at Ashley. I didn't like the silence, it was awkward and made me feel uncomfortable, but I was too shy and too scared to break it. Thankfully though, I didn't have to. The guy cleared his throat, sensing my awkwardness.

"My name is Daniel by the way."

"Andy." I replied quietly. "Uh, thanks for staying with us and helping. You're probably going to be late."

Daniel let out a small chuckle. "It's no problem. I couldn't just leave you and Ashley here, especially with Ashley in this condition. What kind of person would I be if I just left two kids like this? What person could?"

"You'd be surprised." I muttered darkly.

"Actually, I'm quite surprised that no one noticed this while it was happening. This couldn't have been quiet." Daniel said after a moment.

I let out a small snort. "No one seems to notice when this happens. Not the teachers, not other adults… Or they do and just don't give a shit."

Daniel started to respond when I heard a soft moan coming from Ashley.

"Ashley?" I whispered. Ashley moved his head a bit before he opened his eyes. He was only able to open them part way because of the swelling, but I felt my heart leap into my chest when his brown eyes landed on me.

"Andy?" He mumbled.

"Yeah, I'm here." I whispered, pushing his hair out of his face. I heard sirens coming from a distance before I could say anything else.

"They're almost here." Daniel said to me before turning to Ashley. "You're going to be okay."

Ashley turned his head slightly towards Daniel, a look of surprise and fear on his bloody and swollen face. "Who are 'they'?" He asked, his voice shaking slightly. "And who are you?"

"His name is Daniel. He called the ambulance after Justin and his friends left when you were unconscious. Then he stayed to make sure we were okay."

"Ambulance?" Ashley weakly cried, trying to sit up. "No, no. I can't go to the hospital."

"You need to Ashley. You could have a concussion or something, if not worse." I replied as calmly as I could, gently pushing on his shoulders so he couldn't sit up.

"I'm fine. I can't go to the hospital. Andy, please don't make me go," He begged me quietly. He looked so scared and vulnerable and I felt my heart rip into two.

"Why don't you want to go Ash?"

"I'm underage. They'll call my parents and they'll flip. They'll go to Mr Wallace and try and get Justin expelled. They might even go to the police. They'll blow everything out of proportion." He whispered, tears leaking out of his eyes.

"That's good then! Justin should be expelled and the police should be involved." I replied softly, confused to why he was freaking out so bad.

"No Andy, you don't understand."

"You're right, I don't understand." I said, starting to get a little bit frustrated. He needed to go to the hospital and see if he was okay. Why couldn't he just understand that?

Ashley sighed and closed his eyes. "Dad was offered a job in London. I begged for him not to take it so I could stay here. Since I'm doing so well in school and everything and I actually had really good friends that my parents approved of, my dad listened to me and turned down the job offer even though it would have brought in more money. Dad's boss understood and said that the job would still be his if he changed his mind within two months."

"What does this have to do with Justin, or anything really?" I asked him, my eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

Ashley opened his eyes and looked at me, his eyes glassy and red from unshed tears. "Don't you see Andy? They wont just make me move schools. What good would that do, especially since Justin could still do this outside of school? Dad would take the job offer and we'd move to London to protect me."

_**Ashley's point of view**_

Andy remained silent after I finished explaining what would happen if my parents found out.

"Th-They would make you move to London just because of this?" He stuttered. I just shrugged. The ambulance arrived before Andy or I could say anything else. Daniel got up silently to go talk to the paramedics and I looked up at Andy.

"Andy, please don't make me go. My parents can't find out about this. They just can't." I whispered, tears filling my eyes again. Honestly, I really wanted to go to the hospital. My head was pounding and there was a slight ringing in my ears. My chest ached with every breath, indicating that if my ribs weren't actually broken, they were at least bruised to shit. I had a hell of a time breathing through my obviously broken noise, and in general I just felt like complete and utter rubbish. I just wanted go to the hospital to make sure that I was as okay as I could be after getting the living shit beaten out of me. If there was no way my parents would find out, I would have leaped very willingly into that ambulance.

Andy sighed heavily, looking away from me. "I'm so sorry Ashley, but you have to go." I felt tears form in my eyes again, but before I could respond two paramedics were beside me with a stretcher.

"I don't want to go." I said bluntly to them. One of the younger paramedics gave me a small, sad smile.

"You have to go sir. You look like you're in pretty rough shape." He said, helping his partner lower the stretcher in order to lift me onto it. I shook my head quickly, instantly regretting it when my head began to swim and lights flashed in front of my eyes.

"I'm fine." I muttered, closing my eyes as I began to feel sick.

"How old are you?" Asked the older one. His voice was rough and seemed unkind. However, when I opened my eyes to answer him, I saw genuine concern and kindness within his own dark green eyes.

"Eighteen," I answered softly. I knew that I was lying, but if I was eighteen they couldn't really take me to the hospital when I was awake and refusing it.

"Seventeen." I heard someone say from beside me. I turned my head and saw Andy look away from me. "He's barely seventeen."

"Andy!" I weakly hissed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry Ashley. You really need to go." He said, still not looking at me. I saw the older paramedic nod slightly and turn to the younger one.

"Help me lift him, Shawn."

The younger one, Shawn I guess, put a neck brace on me before gently grabbing me. I felt the older one grab me as well and they lifted me up. I felt pain shoot through my entire body and I let out a loud moan, trying to hold back a scream. Tears filled my eyes and I closed them tight. The pain in my chest just intensified and before I could let out another moan, I felt myself begin to pass out and I was left in darkness.

I awoke to someone gently shaking me. I moaned quietly and opened my eyes.

"Good, you're awake." I heard someone say. The voice was soft and sweet, and it clearly belonged to a woman. Finally my eyes adjusted to the bright light and I was able to focus onto the face hovering above me. The nurse was a young, pretty woman with long black hair that framed her pale face perfectly. Her lips lifted into a smile. I moaned in response. Being awake brought back the feeling of pain, and I hurt _everywhere._ Why couldn't she just let me sleep, where the pain couldn't reach me?

"We need to wake you up every so often because of your concussion." The nurse explained softly, as if reading my thoughts. I didn't reply. I was feeling dizzy and sick, like I was going to be sick at any moment. I was scared that if I opened my mouth I'd puke all over myself.

"Your parents and your friends are here. I can tell them you're too tired to talk right now if you-" The nurse started, but I cut her off quickly.

"My parents?" I asked weakly, momentarily forgetting about feeling sick and dizzy. I felt panic build up in my chest, pushing its way into the fog of confusion that I was in, no doubt caused by the concussion. It was like something was choking me, making it hard to breathe. I tried breathing deeply to calm myself down but instead my breath just came to me in quick, laboured pants.

"Yes hun." She said, giving me a large, reassuring smile. She obviously thought I was relieved they were here instead of shitting bricks.

"Your friend Andy called them." She continued when I didn't say anything. Of fucking course he did. The ass hole. Didn't he care that this would mean I would be forced to move to London?

_Of course he doesn't, idiot. He has Jinxx now, why would he need you?_

I shook the thought away quickly. "Do they know why I'm here?" I asked the nurse.

"I don't know." She replied honestly. "I don't see why they wouldn't, but you could always ask them yourself. However, like I said, I can always tell them you're too tired to see them right now."

I shook my head after a moment's hesitation. "No. I'll see them." The nurse smiled and left the room. I sighed and sunk back into my pillow.

"Fuck. My. Life." I muttered to myself, feeling my throat tighten as I tried to hold back tears. I was going to lie to my parents and say that I was hit by a car or fell down a flight of stairs or something, but Andy probably fucking told them about Justin. What a fucking ass hole.

"Ash?" I heard someone say from the doorway, pulling me away from my thoughts. I looked up and saw my mum standing there, tears in her red and puffy eyes.

"Hey mum." I said softly, averting my gaze. In a moment, she was beside me, gripping my hand so hard it hurt. "Mum, you're hurting me."

Instantly, she loosened her death grip on my hand. "Sorry baby, I was just so worried. When Andy called…" Her voice broke and fresh tears trickled down her cheeks.

I was about to reply when the young nurse walked back in, my dad following close behind. He gave me a small, worried smile, which I didn't return. I was too worried.

"Mr and Mrs Purdy?" She asked. I rolled my eyes at her question. I mean, what a stupid fucking thing to ask. Like, duh.

Mum and Dad just nodded though. The nurse gave a small smile.

"Your son has his share of injuries," She started. Instantly, mum tightened her hold on my hand again, making me wince. "However, they're mostly pretty minor. The only thing we really have to worry about is his concussion and his one broken rib. Otherwise he's just pretty bruised up."

"How bad is his concussion?" Dad asked. The nurse turned to look at him and gave him a cheerful smile. Fuck, I just wanted to slap the smile off of her face. She was way too cheerful and it was pissing me right off.

"It's not too serious, but we would like to keep him here for a few days just to monitor him and make sure he's recovering okay."

My father nodded and looked at me. "Uh, would we be able to have a moment alone…?" He asked, trailing off.

"Tracey." The nurse said smiling, a-fucking-gain. "Just press the button there," She continued, pointing to the red button beside my head. "If you need anything." Tracey gave one last cheerful fucking smile and walked out of the room. Silence was the only thing that filled the room for a moment before I let out an awkward cough, which I instantly regretted doing because of my ribs.

"Ashley…" Dad started, but I cut him off.

"I don't want to hear it Dad. Yes, I'm having some problems with Justin and my old 'friends' at school because I was dating Andy, but so what? It's nothing I can't handle. It's no big deal, so don't make it one." It took so much effort for me to speak coherently without becoming confused because of the stupid fog the concussion caused, and when I was finished speaking I was basically panting because of the amount of energy it took me to speak.

"No big deal? Ashley, you're in the fucking hospital with a broken rib and a concussion!" Dad basically yelled. I felt my mum flinch slightly, but she didn't say anything.

"Dad! Just fucking stop!" I tried to yell right back at him. However, the yelling put too much strain on my throat and I just ended up doubling over in a violent and painful coughing fit.

Tears were running down my face and my chest was screaming in protest, but there was nothing I could do to ease the coughing. For five minutes my body put me through total agony. For five minutes Mum tried her best to comfort me; squeezing my hand, rubbing my back, and whispering comforting things in my ear. Dad, on the other hand, didn't move or say anything. I looked up at him through my fringe for a moment when I was blessed with a short moment of peace from my coughing and saw him watching me with worry and pity in his eyes. Still, he didn't say or do anything, not even when my body was yet again over come with coughing. He was obviously trying to make a point.

Finally, after five minutes of torture, my body released me from the complete agony and I lay back on the pillow. I was suddenly exhausted, feeling myself already drifting into a peaceful sleep. Dad's quiet voice pulled me out of it though.

"See, Ash. You're not fine."

I didn't reply. I had nothing to say because I knew it was true; I wasn't fine at all. I hurt everywhere, I felt dizzy, confused, numb and tired. I was so fucking tired.

"I don't want you to make this a big deal Daddy." I murmured, my eyes still closed. Did I seriously just call him Daddy? I haven't called him that since I was eight years old. I mentally shrugged though, too tired to give a fuck.

"But it is a big deal Ashley. Justin could have killed you." Mum whispered from beside me.

I sighed slightly, too tired to put up a fight. "What are you going to do?" I asked quietly. There was a slight pause, but Dad spoke up.

"We're going to go to the principal and talk to him about this. We'll probably involve the police too."

I let out an almost silent groan. "Don't involve the police Dad. Please. I just want to forget this happened."

"That bastard should be arrested and charged." Dad said angrily, his voice starting to get loud again.

"I know Dad. He should be charged, but honestly I just want to get better and forget this whole thing happened with him. You can go to the principle and try and get him expelled, but please don't go to the police. I'm fucking begging you." The effort from speaking drained my energy completely and my confusion made it really hard to put together sentences so what I was saying made sense, but I had to try and convince them to leave the police out of this. Silence followed my speech and I was getting worried my pleading would get denied again.

Finally though, Dad just sighed. "We'll talk about this later Ashley. Right now though, just concentrate on getting better. We'll come see you tomorrow, okay?"

I felt my heart sink. His answer wasn't agreeing with my request, but at least he wasn't straight out rejecting it either. I just nodded, not knowing what to say.

I felt my mum stand up from kneeling position and lean over to kiss my forehead. "Bye Ash, try and get some rest."

"Okay." I murmured. Dad walked over to me after Mum let go of my hand and kissed my forehead too. Dad wasn't one to show affection or anything like that like my Mum did, so his action surprised me. It kind of made sense though because of what just happened.

"See you tomorrow, son."

I nodded, barely moving my head. I felt myself slowly slipping into unconsciousness again and I was too weak and tired to do anything else.

"I love you Ashley." I heard Mum say from the door.

"Love you." I murmured.

"Your friends are waiting to see you in the waiting room. Would you like us to tell them to come back later and let you rest?" Dad asked.

Again, I just nodded, wishing they would leave so I could go to sleep. I heard them leave soon after though, Mum's heels clicking nosily down the hall. Soon afterwards I felt myself drift asleep, lulled by the beeping of my heart monitor.

_- Time Lapse: Two days –_

For the next couple days, I was in and out of consciousness. For the amount that I was sleeping though, I was surprised that I was still completely fucking exhausted, though it was probably because of the amount of drugs the doctors were pumping into my body. The only time I was awake was when the young nurse, Tracey, came in every so often to wake me because of my concussion and to eat.

This time though, when I opened my eyes to Tracey's smiling face, I finally felt rested and wide-awake. I was also, after two days of feeling nothing at all, starving. I sat up slowly in my bed and Tracey's smile grew into a grin.

"Feeling better then Ashley?" She asked me. I smiled at her and nodded.

"Hey, Tracey?"

"Mhm?"

"What's for breakfast?" I asked, my smile growing larger. She let out a laugh and walked out shaking her head to get me something to eat.

I closed my eyes for a moment, letting my head sink back into the pillow when I heard a knock on the open door. I opened my eyes expecting to see Tracey, but instead saw Andy and Jinxx staring at me, making me feel rather awkward. I noticed that their hands were intertwined and felt my heart sink, tears springing to my eyes. I thought for sure that Andy and Jinxx would have broken up after what Jinxx had done the day Justin beat the shit out of me.

Andy awkwardly cleared his throat, pulling me away from my thoughts.

"Hey." He whispered. I looked down.

"Hi." I replied, blinking away tears. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We wanted to see how you're doing. Plus I brought your homework and stuff from your classes for you." Andy said quietly, still not moving away from the door. He looked down at his feet and started to shuffle them awkwardly. I looked up and stared at the two guys who used to be my best friends. Jinxx was clutching onto Andy's hand so tightly that his knuckles were starting to turn white. He was looking around the room; looking anywhere and everywhere but me. I cleared my throat and looked back down at my hands.

"Uh. You guys can come in if you want to I guess." I whispered, not looking up from my hands. I heard Andy's black shoes walk across my room and saw him sit down in one of the chairs out of the corner of my eye, Jinxx following close behind.

"So…" Andy started quietly before trailing off, obviously not knowing what to say.

"So, you're still with Jinxx then. That's great." I said sarcastically, looking up at Andy. Jinxx looked away but I never broke eye contact with Andy.

"Ashley…" Andy said before I cut him off.

"Funny." I said, looking away finally to look at Jinxx. "I, for whatever reason, thought that after what Jinxx did, you would have ended it with him. Considering you said you still care about me or whatever." I let out a humorless laugh. "Guess I was wrong."

"Ashley, Jinxx didn't do anything." Andy replied harshly. I quickly looked at him, my face burning with anger.

"Exactly! He didn't do a fucking thing!" I practically yelled. "I was supposed to be one of his best friends and he just left me there to get my ass kicked from Justin without fucking doing anything!"

"What was I supposed to do Ashley?" Jinxx said quietly, looking up from the floor into my eyes. "There were five fucking guys. I couldn't do anything to help you."

Tears filled my eyes, angering me further. I quickly wiped them away.

"For fuck sakes." I muttered before looking away from Andy. My gaze settled on Jinxx and suddenly I exploded, anger filling my body. "I know you couldn't have done anything Jinxx! I fucking know that, okay? But you didn't even try. At least Andy tried. You just fucking walked away!"

"I was hurt and angry Ashley! Jesus Christ, I know I was wrong. I was mad at Andy for lying to me and I took it out on you. After I got to school I had calmed down and I instantly regretted leaving you and Andy. I texted Andy a billion times to make sure you were okay. I'm sorry Ashley, I'm so fucking sorry." After Jinxx finished speaking, he did something I've never seen him do before; he broke down crying, his body shaking from the loud sobs that overcame his body. I instantly regretted shouting at him and I wished desperately that I could get out of bed and comfort him. I knew I couldn't though because I wasn't fully recovered yet and I didn't want to risk injuring myself further.

"Jinxx, fuck man. Jinxx, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled." I said softly, trying to comfort him with words while Andy held him in a tight hug.

"No, Ashley. You have every right to be mad. I hate myself for leaving you and I don't blame you for hating me either." Jinxx gasped in between sobs. I sighed, unsure on how to respond. He was right, I did have every right to be pissed at him, but seeing him cry and everything, I felt my anger slipping away.

"Jinxx, it's fine really. You couldn't have done anything, even if you wanted to." I whispered quietly as Andy rubbed Jinxx's back to try and calm him down.

"But I should have wanted to!" Jinxx wailed, pulling away from Andy to plunk himself down in the chair. He hid his head in his hands and continued to sob. "I let my jealousy of you get in the way." He looked up at me, his eyes red and puffy from crying. "You're my best friend Ashley. I'm so sorry."

"Jinxx. Really, it's fine. Look, I'm fine, okay?" I said, looking him dead in the eyes. Jinxx looked away and didn't respond. "Jinxx, buddy, look at me." After a second's hesitation, he finally did look up at me, uncertainty displayed on his face. "Okay?" Slowly, he nodded. I smiled at him and he gave me a small smile back.

"Come here, Jinxx." I said, spreading my arms out indicating I wanted a hug. Jinxx gave me a huge smile, jumped up from his chair and basically leaped into my arms. After a couple minutes he pulled away.

"Are we okay?" He asked, worry replacing his look of happiness. I broke into a grin.

"Yeah, we're fine."

_- Time Lapse: An hour –_

"No way!" I laughed.

"I'm totally serious dude!" Jinxx replied, laughing as well. "Andy used to dress up as like, Nikki Sixx and Gene Simmions and people like that! Then he'd make his family sit down and watch him perform!"

Even before Jinxx finished telling the story of young Andy, tears of laughter were running down my face. My ribs were aching from laughing so hard, and I'm pretty sure my abs were becoming rock hard too.

"Ah! No stop! It hurts!" I laughed, wiping away tears.

"H-He would perform for anyone who would actually pay attention to him!" Jinxx continued, clutching his stomach while laughing.

"Guys, it's not that funny." Andy mumbled. He didn't sound amused at all, and his arms were crossed tightly across his chest. I ignored him, still pissed at him for making me go to the hospital, for calling my parents, and for dumping me for Jinxx. Jinxx however, just chuckled and wrapped him in a hug, which wasn't returned.

"Aweh baby, yes it is." Jinxx said into his neck. I looked away, suddenly not in a good mood anymore. Soon, Jinxx sensed my change of mood and pulled away from Andy. He looked at me and smiled, which I tried to return. I'm sure it came out awkward and forced though. Jinxx's smile dropped as his expression changed. I knew he was trying to tell me that he was sorry with his eyes, but I just looked away.

Andy apparently also noticed my change in mood because after looking between Jinxx and myself, he awkwardly coughed to clear his throat.

"Uh, Jinxx and I should probably get going. We got some homework we have to do still and you're probably getting pretty tired."

"Yeah. I am pretty tired." I lied. Honestly, after sleeping for pretty much two days straight I was wide-awake, but I didn't feel like socialising anymore. I was glad that Andy gave me an excuse to get rid of him and Jinxx. At least he was still good for something.

"Alright. So we'll see you tomorrow or something?" Jinxx asked sounding disappointed. He obviously didn't realise that I didn't want them there anymore, not like Andy did. Andy could still read me like a book, and I fucking hated him for it.

"Yeah, or something. Thanks for bringing me my course work." I responded, giving Jinxx a forced smile.

"No problem, Ashes. See you later." Andy said, starting to walk towards the door. The use of my old nickname made me cringe, but I somehow managed to keep my facial expression blank. Jinxx gave me one last smile and a wave before following his boyfriend out the door.

"Oh, hey Mr and Mrs Purdy." I heard Andy say from somewhere outside my room not even a minute after him and Jinxx left. I felt my stomach start to tie itself into knots when I heard Dad respond.

"Hey Andy. Is Ashley awake?"

"Yeah, we just left. We dropped off his homework and everything so he wont fall too far behind." Andy replied.

"Oh, thank you guys. You're such great friends to Ashley." I heard Mum say. At that, I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Great friends? Sure, if breaking my heart, calling the ambulance and my parents against my wishes (Andy) and leaving me to get my ass beat without even trying to do anything about it (Jinxx) is considered being good friends, then I had the greatest friends ever.

Being lost in my own thoughts, I didn't hear the rest of the conversation and soon Mum and Dad were standing outside my hospital room door.

"Ashley?" Mum asked, unsure if I was still awake or not since I had my eyes closed.

"Yeah, I'm awake." I said after a moment of debating whether or not I should answer.

"So," Dad started, not wasting anytime with the typical 'how are you feeling' question before getting right to the point. "Your Mum and I talked. We both agreed that it would be best for us all if we don't involve the police." Before he even finished talking, my face broke into a large grin.

"That's awesome! Than-" I started, but Dad quickly interrupted me.

"Wait, Ashley. We're not involving the police on the condition that you'll let us go talk to the principle to talk about Justin's behavior."

I nodded quickly, still smiling like an idiot. "Of course, I already told you, I'm fine with you guys going to the scho-" I said, but again, Dad quickly cut me off.

"Ashley, stop. I'm not done. We're not going to the police if you'll allow us to go talk with the school _and_ they'll actually expel Justin."

For that, I had no response. I had no control over Mr Wallace's decision on what to do with Justin, and my parents knew that. Despite that though, I wasn't worried. I was pretty sure that Justin would get expelled without much thought.

"Okay, that sounds fair." I said. Mum gave Dad a worried glance and he just slightly shook his head in response. At seeing that, my smile faded. I knew something was wrong and I had a horrible suspicion on what exactly that 'something' was. I just prayed that I was wrong.

"Listen Ashley, your mother and I don't think you're reaching your true potential here. With everything that happened between your friends and now Justin, we just think that it'd be best if-" Dad said with an unreadable expression on his face, never breaking eye contact with me, but it was my turn to interrupt him.

"I don't want to hear it Dad. I'm doing fucking fine here." I replied loudly, folding my arms across my chest.

"Ashley Purdy. Do not use that kind of language with me or your father." Mum said harshly. Her tone suddenly softened. "Ash, just listen to what your Dad has to say."

I looked away from them, tears forming in my eyes. I knew this would fucking happen. I fucking knew it.

"Ashley, I talked to my boss this afternoon. He said that the job offer was still open if I had changed my mind." Dad continued as if I hadn't said anything at all.

"I don't want to hear it Dad." I said firmly, trying to hide the fact that tears were now streaming down my face.

"Ash, your Dad took the job. We're moving to London."

**A/N: Ugh, I finally updated. I'm really sorry about the long wait guys, I've just been super busy and lazy, and I had really bad writer's block. Plus I wanted to make this as long as possible without making it boring because…**

_**This might be the second last chapter of this fanfiction.**_

**But yes, I shall go before this a/n gets too long. :)**

**Remember to comment with negative or positive feedback. Comments make me happy, and they also help improve my writing skills if you comment with things I should change about my writing style, etc. 3 **

**Plus comments make me end up smiling like a retard for the rest of the day. Just kidding, I don't mean day. I mean week. Seriously. **

**Thank you guys again for your support, patients, and understanding. You're the best readers EVER.**

**I love you all! **

**See you next chapter.**

**xoxox.**


	24. Chapter 24

_**Andy's point of view **_

The short five-minute walk from the hospital to my car seemed to be the longest walk of my life. The silence between Jinxx and myself was awkward, a clear sign that he wasn't happy with me, and although his hand was intertwined with mine, his grip was loose and unsure. Almost as if he didn't want to hold my hand but felt like he had to. I knew he was mad at me, he made that pretty clear, but I had no idea why he was mad.

_What the fuck did I do? _

Before I could ask him, he cleared his throat to break the silence.

"Andy, you need to make up with Ashley." He said quietly, keeping his gaze forward so that he wasn't looking at me. I sighed but never said anything. What could I say to that? I have tried to make up with him, remain his friend, but he didn't want that.

"Andy, seriously." Jinxx said, annoyance clear in his voice.

I looked sideways at Jinxx and sighed before looking forward again.

"I have tried." I replied quietly. I was annoyed that he was mad at me for something I couldn't control, but I was too tired to let it show in my voice. I sounded dull and dead of all emotions.

We reached my car then and Jinxx released my hand, moving to the passenger side. I reached into my back pocket and struggled to remove the keys since my jeans were pretty tight. As I was struggling, Jinxx watched me from over top of the car, leaning on his hands. I didn't look up at him though, I didn't want to see his disappointment in me, so I just focused intensely on the task at hand.

"You obviously haven't tried hard enough." Jinxx said suddenly, carrying on out conversation from minutes before.

I stopped fishing for my keys and looked at him, shocked and slightly hurt at his accusations.

"I have tried, Jinxx! Ashley doesn't want to be friends. I've tried texting and calling him loads of times, and when that didn't work I've tried talking to him in person. I've even tried asking him to hang out. He avoids me like the plague." I finished quietly. I looked down, tears forming in my eyes, thinking of Ashley. I still loved him and if it wasn't for what he did to me, we'd probably still be together. Don't get me wrong; I love Jinxx with all my heart and I wanted nothing more than to be with him, but there will always be a part of me that wishes he was Ashley.

Funny isn't it? How only a few months ago I thought of Jinxx whenever I was with Ashley, wishing it was Jinxx I was kissing instead. A tear rolled down my cheek and dripped off the end of my nose.

"Aanndyyy." I heard Jinxx whine, getting more and more annoyed with every passing moment.

"What?" I asked, more harshly than I meant to. Jinxx looked taken aback for a moment, but then just glared at me.

"Did you hear a single word I just said?"

"No." I admitted, returning his glare. Jinxx sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Nice." He said, his voice cold and void of emotion. He was starting to pull away from me emotionally, and I knew it was my fault.

"Are you going to tell me what you said?" I asked softly, not letting my annoyance show through my voice. I didn't want to lose Jinxx more than I already had, so I had to watch what I say and how I act towards him so that I don't push him away more than I have.

Jinxx sighed and his face relaxed for a moment, sympathy and sadness replacing the anger.

"You need to make up with Ash, Andy. I miss him a lot, we all do, and I can tell that you miss him the most. You still love him Andy-"

I cut him off then, panicking, thinking that he was breaking up with me. "I do," I admitted quickly. "But I love you more. I don't want to lose you Jinxxy." My voice broke, tears filling my eyes. I felt my throat getting tight and I tried to swallow.

Jinxx shook his head, stepping around my car towards me. He wrapped me in his arms and I buried my head into his shoulder, which was kind of hard considering how tall I was.

"Andy," He whispered softly. "Andy, baby. I know you love me, and I don't want to lose you either. Even if you wanted to go back to Ashley I wouldn't let you go without a fight. That may be selfish of me, but I don't care. I love you so much Andy."

I sniffed, holding back tears. "I love you too, Jinxxy." I mumbled. I looked up at him, looking into his eyes and gave him a soft smile. He pressed his lips to mine in a gentle but passionate kiss. I kissed him back eagerly, my mouth moving with his. I felt his tongue graze my bottom lip and I opened my mouth without hesitation, allowing him to explore my mouth. I let out a soft, barely audible moan and I felt him smile. He pulled away for a breath and pecked my lips twice.

"All I'm saying Andy," He said, suddenly growing serious as he pulled away from me slightly. I felt my face fall. I didn't want him to continue what we were talking about. I didn't want to talk about Ashley while I was here in Jinxx's arms. I just wanted to go back to out perfect moment. "Andy, I know you miss him, and I know you still love him. You may not want to be with him anymore-"

"I don't." I said, cutting him off quickly. I was only partly telling the truth honestly. I did still want to be with Ashley, but I had Jinxx now. Having Jinxx as a boyfriend was best for me. It was as if I was a balloon in a windstorm. He was what was holding me to the ground, keeping me safe from any harm, whereas Ashley was like a knife, threatening to break my string and watch me fly into the eye of the storm at any second.

"Stop cutting me off, Andy." Jinxx chuckled, only half joking. He looked at me, waiting for me to let him continue speaking. Finally, after only a moment's hesitation, I nodded and let out a small sigh. "Thank you. Andy, you want him in your life, I know you do, and although you may want not want him as your boyfriend anymore… Andy, dude shut up. You said you'd let me finish." He whined quietly when I tried to interrupt him again.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"As I was saying." Jinxx said exasperated, rolling his eyes. "You may not want him in your life as your boyfriend, but I know you want him in your life as your friend. You need to make up with him baby, because I know you not only want him in your life, but you need him in your life. You're not the same without him."

I was silent after Jinxx finished speaking. I had nothing to say to him because I knew he was right. As much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, I needed Ashley.

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

I was sat on the hard hospital bed in jeans and a hoodie, waiting for my parents to come back from signing my release forms. I had the sleeves of my hoodie rolled up to my elbows, running a finger across the many healing cuts on both my arms. My parents still didn't know that I cut myself, and that fact came as a slight surprise. The doctors had to have seen the scars and guessed what they were, so why didn't they tell Mum and Dad? It also came as a surprise that they didn't see my cuts themselves. After all, I have been lying basically unconscious in a very revealing hospital grown for the past two days.

_You've gotten good at hiding them. Just like Andy. _I thought to myself.

It was true. Once you've been self-harming for a while you just get used to hiding the cuts and scars. It almost comes as a natural thing after a while, a habit even, like breathing. In fact, I've gotten so used to it that I even tend to be able to hide them in my sleep. Jinxx has told me that he still wakes up in the morning with fear gnawing at his stomach as he tugs down the sleeves of his pajama top, trying to hide the scars, before he realises he doesn't need to anymore.

_At least that's some good news._

I sighed, tears forming in my brown eyes. My parents were making me move to fucking London. I'd never get to see Sandra, Jake, Jinxx or CC again. I wouldn't ever get to see Andy again. I sighed and told myself he didn't care, but that only made me feel worse.

"Ashley, are you ready?" I heard Mum ask from the doorway. I quickly wiped away the tears on my cheeks, pulled down my sleeves, and then turned to glared at her. She sighed, shook her head sadly, and started to walk away. I grumbled something I couldn't even understand and stood up, wincing slightly as my body screamed in protest. Obviously I was pretty much healed, otherwise the doctors wouldn't be releasing me, but I was still pretty fucking sore since my chest was still pretty bruised and I had a broken rib.

I walked out of the room and down the hall to the waiting room where my parents were. When they saw me they smiled, but I ignored them and walked straight to the front doors without so much as a glance in their direction.

They continued to try and make conversation all the way home, but again I just ignored them. I had nothing to say to the people who were trying to help me, but ultimately only ruining my life.

"Ashley. Stop with the attitude." Dad snapped, glaring at me from the review mirror. I rolled my eyes and looked out the window, watching the houses and cars pass by.

"I'm not going." I muttered after a moment.

"What?" Mum said suddenly, turning around to face me in her seat.

"I said: I'm not going." I repeated a bit louder.

Dad snorted. "Oh, you're going Ashley. You're seventeen with nowhere else to go. You have absolutely no money saved up because you blew it on stupid shi-"

"My bass guitar isn't fucking stupid!" I yelled.

"Your stupid fucking guitar isn't going to get you any income, now is it? You're coming with us. End of fucking discussion."

I muttered something and looked back out the window.

"Ashley, did you hear me?" Dad asked when I remained silent.

"Yes." I mumbled.

"What?"

"Yes! I fucking heard you." I yelled, glaring at him.

"Ashley Purdy, don't you dare speak to me like that." Dad growled. His grip on the steering wheel tightened until his knuckles started to turn white. I rolled my eyes again.

"You know what, I don't fucking care. I will speak to you however I damn well please. You're making me move to London Dad! It's fucking bullshit!"

"Ashley, stop." Mum said quietly before Dad could respond.

"No. I'm doing fucking fine here! You guys are fucking ass holes!"

"We're only trying to do what's best for you Ashley! We're trying to be good parents!" Mum yelled, turning around to look at me. She sounded close to crying and when I looked in her eyes, my suspicions were confirmed. Normally, I would have felt bad; I hated seeing my mum cry and I especially hated being the reason why. Instead, I let out a humourless chuckle, too angry to give a shit.

"Yeah? Well guess what mother. You're fucking failing. You suck at being a good parent. You both do and I hate you so fucking much."

Dad slammed on the breaks and turned around, his face red with anger. "Get the fuck out of my car! You can fucking walk home, you ungrateful piece of shit!" He screamed, spit flying from his lips.

I let out a snort. "Fine by me, ass hole." I glared at my parents one last time, opened the door and jumped out. "Fuck you both." I screamed before slamming the door shut.

The door was just barely closed before Dad sped off. I gave the car the middle finger before going over to the sidewalk. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and sat down heavily on the curb, really wishing I had my razor with me.

I sighed, opening up Facebook. I scrolled through my newsfeed for a bit, finding nothing but statuses bitching about something or someone and girls changing their profile pictures to something that makes them look either stupid or easy. I sighed again and was about to close the app when I noticed that Sandra had posted on my wall yesterday morning.

"_We miss you Ashley. I hope you feel better soon! We all love you!"_

I smiled a bit when I saw that Jake, Jinxx, and CC all liked and commented with similar things. My smile faded when I saw that Andy wasn't among them. Even though I had deleted Andy ages ago, I knew he could still see and comment on the wall post. I knew it shouldn't bug me, but it did and I suddenly felt like crying again.

"You're fucking pathetic Ashley." I muttered to myself as I closed Facebook. The sun had started to set and a slightly cold wind had picked up. I shivered a bit and frowned.

I didn't want to go home and face my dad just yet, but I really had nowhere else to go. Jake, CC, and Sandra lived somewhat far and I really didn't feel like walking too much, so that left Jinxx and Andy. As soon as the thought of Andy entered my mind, I pushed it away. No way was I going to Andy now. No fucking way.

I unlocked my phone again and started to text Jinxx.

_Hey, what's up?_

I sent the text and put my head in my knees, waiting for his response. It came two minutes later.

_Nothing much, you?_

_Nothing. Just got out of the hospital and got into a fight with my parents. Did you want to hang out for a bit?_

_I'm at Andy's._

"Fuck." I muttered when I read his response, my heart sinking. So my choice was clear, I could either spend the night sleeping out on the streets or go home. Honestly though, I would pick sleeping outside than going home at the moment.

_Oh okay. Thanks anyways. _

I sent my reply and pocketed my phone. I stood up and started walking towards a park that was close by when I felt my phone vibrate.

_You can come over if you want._

I read Jinxx's message and laughed at the stupidity of that idea.

_Would really rather not._

_Oh come on Ashley. Everyone is here and they really miss you._

I stopped, considering the offer. It sounded extremely tempting to see everyone again, but it was Andy's house, which meant he'd be there.

_I would love to see everyone Jinxx, but…_

_Ash, you really need to get over this stupid hating Andy thing._

I laughed at Jinxx's reply and started typing out my own frantically.

_I don't hate him!_

_Oh really?_

_Yes!_

_Prove it. If you don't hate him come over._

That stopped me dead in my tracks. My fingers danced across my phone as I thought of a reply.

… _Okay. I hate him a little bit. But it's not stupid! I have a perfectly good reason to hate him!_

_Haha whatever Ashley. Just come over. _

I started to reply, smiling to myself, when I received another text message from Jake.

_Ashley Purdy! Stop being a butt and get your beat up Popular ass over here!_

I laughed and shook my head.

_Not a Popular anymore, you dick. And butt, really? Haha._

_Yes! A butt! Get it over here! _

_I have a cute butt. _I replied, avoiding his request.

_Yes, you do. SO GET IT OVER HERE PURDY._

I sighed. It really would be great seeing them again, and if anything I could just ignore Andy like I did when he and Jinxx came to visit me at the hospital.

_Is it okay with Andy?_

_Yeah, he doesn't mind. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease Ashley?_

I let out another sigh. _Fine, I'm on my way. :( I hate you all._

_Yay! And I know you do, but we love you!_

I rolled my eyes, a huge smile embedded on my face. I quickly sent a text message to Jinxx letting him know I was coming and started walking to Andy's.

I took a deep breath and knocked on Andy's door. Almost right away, Sandra swung the door open, a huge grin on her face.

"ASHLEYASHLEYASHLEY! OH MY GOD I MISSED YOU!" She screamed, leaping into my arms.

I let out a yelp of pain and she pulled away quickly.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot."

"It's fine Sandra, really. I'm just still a bit bruised is all." I replied with a smile. God I missed her.

"Oh good. I really fucking hate Justin. I hope your parents are doing something about him."

My smile faded and I looked down. "Yeah. They are." I mumbled.

"That's good!" Sandra cheered, completely oblivious to my change in mood.

_Andy would have noticed. _I thought glumly, the thought of Andy sending a sharp pain straight into my heart.

I cleared my throat. "Where is everyone?"

"In the basement. We're practicing. Since everything that happened with Andy and stuff, we have hardly had time to practice."

I gave her a questioning look, wondering what the fuck she was talking about. She must have noticed my confusion because she gave me an odd look.

"We have a band. Didn't Andy ever mention it to you?"

"No." I muttered. "No, he never said anything about it."

"Oh… Well, did you wanna come hear us play?" Sandra asked excitedly. I chuckled, pretending to be deep in thought.

"I don't know…" I said jokingly, trailing off.

"Oh come on Ashley." Sandra laughed, punching me lightly on the arm.

"Well… Are you guys any good?" I laughed. I was joking of course, but Sandra's face fell.

"Uhm… I don't know actually. We haven't practice at all lately like I said so…"

I laughed. "Sandra, I'm totally joking!"

"Oh," Sandra chuckled. "You dick! I thought you were serious!"

I shook my head, smiling. "Do you guys have any original songs yet?"

"No." Sandra admitted. "We're just doing covers right now. Andy was working on a song for Scout but scrapped it when…" She trailed off and I nodded, indicating that I understood.

"Well, lets go then." I said with a smile.

Sandra nodded and we walked to the basement.

I hadn't even gotten down the stairs when I was tackled yet again.

"Ashley!" CC squeaked. I winced slightly, but hugged him back, laughing.

"Hey CC."

"We were so worried when Jinxx told us what happened!" CC said, pulling away from me.

"Yeah, I know. I saw Sandra's post on Facebook." I said smiling.

"Sorry we didn't come and see you in the hospital buddy. It's just… we weren't sure if we should since you were so distant with us for the past little bit." Jake said from his position on the couch. He put down the guitar he was holding and walked over to give me a hug. Normally he would squeeze the living shit out of me, but he was actually pretty gentle, being careful of my healing injuries, and for that I was grateful. I wasn't sure if I could handle another painful squeeze after the friendly abuse I received from Sandra and CC.

Jake pulled away and I looked over to see Andy and Jinxx. For once, I noticed, they weren't clinging onto each other like they'd never see each other again. Jinxx was sat on the floor, tuning his guitar and Andy was sat on the couch. He was looking at me and smiling. It wasn't his usual bright, happy smile that he used to give whenever he saw me, this one was cautious and unsure, but it was a smile never less.

"Hey, Ashy." He said in a happy voice that anyone who knew him could tell he was faking. I ignored him and turned to Jinxx.

"Hey buddy." I said happily.

"Hey Ashley. How are you feeling?" Jinxx said, smiling.

"Better. Still a bit sore but," I shrugged. "I'll live."

"Ashley wants to hear us play a song." Sandra chimed in, practically bouncing up and down from excitement. I laughed and shook my head.

"Really?" Andy asked, obviously still trying to get me to talk to him.

"Really." I replied. I didn't direct my response at him, but instead at Sandra. I smiled and she returned it with a huge grin.

I sat myself down on the couch while the guys and Sandra got into place. Sandra was on the drums, Jake and Jinxx on guitar, CC on base, and Andy singing.

_Of fucking course he's the lead singer._ I thought bitterly to myself, rolling my eyes a bit.

Sandra counted them in with using her drumsticks and they broke into the intro to Motley Crue's _Animal In Me._

_It feels like thunder_

_When we're slowly digging in_

_It kinda makes me wonder_

_About the lovers that have been_

_Lying in my bed with her hands tied up_

_I knew it all along that it wasn't enough_

_Cos when I got a taste of you_

_I found something I can sink my teeth into_

_It's an ache that never heals_

_It's the deepest cut you feel_

_It's the thing in you that feeds_

_The animal in me_

_It's the darker side of lust_

_It's the other side of us_

_It's the thing in you that feeds _

_The animal in me._

I felt tears coming to my eyes as I listened to my friends and Andy play. Andy's voice was beautiful, reaching all the notes perfectly. If I thought his normal voice was beautiful and hypnotic, it was nothing to his singing voice.

They finished playing and looked at me, expecting my opinion. I quickly wiped away my tears.

"You guys are fucking brilliant!" I cheered, clapping my hands together. The five of them broke into a grin and I smiled back, avoiding making eye contact with Andy.

"Want to hear another one?" CC asked, sounding a bit shy. If possible, my smile grew larger. "Oh my god, yes!"

Jake and CC laughed and turned to the other three to decide what song was next. I listened to their quiet whispers patiently until they broke apart and got into their places again. Like before, Sandra started them off by banging her drumsticks together and they started to play the intro to _Waking the Demon_ by Bullet for my Valentine.

_Oh!_

2, 3, 4

Helpless  
My eyes are bleeding from the fear that's inside  
You sealed your demise when you took what was mine  
Don't try to stop me from avenging this world  
No voice to be heard

Like before, Andy took my breath away. His screams were perfect, never breaking or cutting out and always at the proper pitch. It was beautiful and I hated him for being so perfect.

They finished the song and, again, turned to me. I laughed.

"Guys, I already told you you're brilliant!"

They played a few more songs until we decided we should just hang out for a bit. Jinxx, CC, Sandra, and Jake started to put their instruments away and Andy, having nothing to really put away, came and sat down next to me on the couch.

"So," Andy started awkwardly. I rolled my eyes slightly and forced a smile onto my face.

"So." I replied, looking at him. The smile was so forced and my reply came off so harsh that Andy noticed right away that I was faking it and that I wasn't up to being friendly with him. His smile dropped and he looked down at his bare feet.

He cleared his throat and tried again. "So, uh, do you play anything?"

I considered not answering, but by that time the rest of our group came to join us on either the couch or the floor, waiting for my answer.

"Yeah." I replied.

"Really? What do you play?" Sandra asked.

"Base mostly. But I can play guitar and sing a bit."

"Ooh!" Jake squeaked. "Can we hear you play something?"

Suddenly, I felt self-conscious and nervous. "I don't know guys…"

"Oh come on Ashley, please? You got to hear us play!" CC whined.

"Yeah, but you guys are actually good."

Jinxx snorted. "I bet you're good too Ashley, come on."

I sighed. "Fine. Jinxx, I'm borrowing your guitar."

"Have at it buddy." Jinxx said with a smile, leaning back into the couch.

I grabbed his guitar and started to tune it, stalling while I tried to remember the cords and the words to the song I wanted to play.

"Stop stalling Ashley!" Andy yelled jokingly. I wanted to walk up to him and slam the guitar into his face, but I repressed the urge. Instead I sighed and started to play a shitty acoustics version of _She Said _by Hands Like Glass. Once the intro was done, I started to sing. I knew I didn't sound nearly as good as Andy, but I gave it my all.

_I can feel your body moving slowly_

_With a presence that's almost ghostly_

Then I started to scream; the lyrics ripping through my throat and out of my mouth as I sang. I looked up to see Andy staring at me wide-eyed, a shocked expression on his face, and I smirked slightly.

_I look around with bloodshot eyes_

_And find you holding on so tight_

_I'd leave my whole life all in your hands_

My fingers flew across the guitar, hitting every cord perfectly. I could feel everyone's gaze on me, but I ignored it and started singing the chorus.

_Don't put it off till tomorrow she said_

_We're running out of time_

_Don't put it off till tomorrow she said_

_I can't wait forever to see this through you_

_We're running out of time_

Suddenly, tears started to blur my vision and I stopped there.

"Aweh, Ash, why'd you stop? That was amazing!" Jake whined from his spot on the couch.

"It doesn't sound as good without drums and stuff." I muttered. It was true, but that wasn't the reason I stopped. For some reason, the song reminded me painfully of my time with Andy. My barely healed broken heart reopened and I felt tears drop from my eyes.

"Ash, it sounded so good dud-" Jinxx stopped talking when he noticed I was crying. "Ashley, why are you crying?"

He stood up and rushed over to me, pulling me into a hug. I shook my head, telling him that I needed a second to calm down. I don't know if he understood or not, but I didn't care. The pain my broken heart caused ripped through my body and made me cry harder. Then a new thought broke through my mind, one that was pushed away as I listened to my friends play.

_I'm moving to London and I'll never see my friends again. I'll never see Andy again._

This new thought pushed me over the edge and I started sobbing hysterically. I dropped to my knees and Jinxx followed me, holding me tight. Sandra rushed over and held onto me too, but I just kept crying.

_It's now or never Ashley. You have to tell them._

_**Andy's Point of View**_

I didn't know what to do as I watched Ashley sob on the floor, clinging onto Jinxx and Sandra. I desperately wanted to run over to him and comfort him, but I knew I couldn't. Ashley hated me and I knew for certain he wouldn't want my comfort.

Finally, Ashley calmed down and pulled away from Sandra and Jinxx. He gave them a weak smiled that didn't reach his eyes and sighed.

"Ash, what's wrong?" CC whispered from beside me.

"I…" Ashley started, but then trailed off, tears trickling down his cheeks.

We all waited in silence for Ashley to continue speaking, and when he did, his words shattered my heart into a million pieces and I felt like my world was crashing down all around me.

"My parents are making me move to London. They're letting me finish the rest of the term here… But as soon as my exams are over we're leaving. I'm never going to get to see you guys again."

**A/N: I was going to write a shorter chapter so that it would be out quicker… But when I started writing I couldn't stop. So you guys are left with a longer-ish chapter… Hope you don't mind! **

**As always, my friendlings… Tell me what you think of the story. =) Comments make me a happier writer, even if the comments aren't all that positive. Any and all comments help me improve on my writing. **

**See you guys next chapter!**

**xoxo**


	25. Chapter 25

"_My parents are making me move to London. They're letting me finish the rest of the term here… But as soon as my exams are over we're leaving. I'm never going to get to see you guys again."_

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

The silence was deafening when I finished speaking. I looked down, tears falling from my face as I silently started to cry again.

"Wh-what?"

It was Andy that broke the silence, his voice cracking as he asked his question.

"I'm moving to London." I repeated, looking up at him to give him a deathly glare. His blue, beautiful eyes were glassy with unshed tears and he looked like he was just told that his parents died. Honestly, I wasn't expecting this kind of reaction from him since it was his entire fault.

"But…" He started, trailing off. Finally, tears started to roll silently down his cheeks, dripping off the end of his chin.

"I don't know why you're so upset Andy. You knew this was going to happen because I told you it would. Yet you still made me go to the hospital." I muttered angrily, looking away from him to the rest of my friends. They all looked shocked and close to tears. By the look on CC's face, he was waiting for me to burst out laughing and tell them I was joking.

"I thought you were lying!" Andy cried. I looked back at him, my mouth slightly open as I stared at him.

"Why the fuck would I lie about something like this?" I screamed, getting to my feet, my hands clenched at my side.

"I don't know," Andy muttered, sinking back into the couch. "I just thought you really really didn't want to go to the hospital and you were trying to lie as an excuse not to go."

"Damn it Andy! That's the reason I didn't want to go! The only reason I didn't want to go! If it hadn't had been for my parents I would have jumped into the damn ambulance myself!" I screamed. My tears had stopped momentarily, the sadness replaced by the intense anger boiling in my gut.

"I'm sorry okay?" Andy cried. He looked like a complete mess; his eyes were red and puffy, his eye makeup was running horribly, leaving thick black streaks down his face, but I still couldn't help but think he was the most beautiful person I have ever seen.

I looked away quickly, blushing furiously. "Sorry doesn't change the fact that I'm moving to London because of you."

"It's not Andy's fault, Ash, it's Justin's. If you want someone to blame, blame Justin." Sandra said quietly. I looked away from Andy and my gaze rested on Sandra. She was still sat on the floor beside me, looking up at me with sad, red eyes. She was crying too.

"I wouldn't be moving to London if Andy hadn't made me go to the hospital." I replied flatly.

"You wouldn't be moving to London if Justin wasn't an ass hole." Jake said softly.

"I was worried about you Ashley." Andy said, his voice breaking slightly, when I remained silent after a moment. "I was scared that you were seriously hurt… That you were going to…"

"What? Die?" I asked, finishing his sentence when he trailed off. I meant to have to question come off harsher, more full of rage, but when I heard that Andy was worried about me, that he thought I was going to die, I felt the anger quickly leaving my body.

Andy nodded in response and looked down. "I'm sorry Ashley."

I didn't reply for a moment. How could I be mad at Andy for doing something that he thought was for the best? I couldn't. "I'm sorry too Andy." I said softly. "It's just…" I felt tears coming to my eyes again. "I'm never going to get to see any of you again."

Silence fell over our group once before. Finally, Jinxx cleared his throat. "When are you leaving?"

"My last exam is on the 21st." I replied quietly. "I'm done at twelve, and we're leaving right after."

"So we don't even have a month left…" Sandra whispered. I just shook my head as my answer. What else could I say?

…

"I should probably get going." I said suddenly, an hour later.

"Okay." Sandra said quietly.

"Will we see you again tomorrow?" Andy asked, sounding, to my surprise, hopeful.

I gave him a small, sad smile. "If you want to, I guess."

He smiled. "Yeah. We should probably hang out as much as possible before…" He trailed off and I just nodded to show him I understood.

"I'll walk you to the door." Sandra said.

I smiled at her even though I thought it was a bit weird that she wanted to walk me. Sandra and I stood up and I adjusted my shirt to make sure it was covering my cuts. I glanced over at Andy and Jinxx and noticed they were watching me with knowing, sad eyes. I coughed awkwardly and looked away.

"So, I'll see you then, yeah?" I said, smiling.

"Yeah, see you Ashley." CC said, returning my smile. A chorus of byes rang up from the rest of the group and I started to walk towards the stairs, Sandra trailing behind me.

The short walk up the stairs was awkwardly silent between Sandra and myself, and remained silent until we got to the door.

"So… I'll text you when you get home?" Sandra said, looking at the ground.

_What the hell was wrong with her?_

"Uh yeah, sure." I said with smile.

"Alright, well we'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, for sure. Just text me or whatever when you guys want to hang out."

"Sounds good. So, bye then."

"Bye." I laughed. I couldn't help it, she was being so awkward and I didn't know why.

She went in for a hug and I hugged her back with a smile, thinking nothing of it. I mean, we hugged all the time because we were friends. So, because of that, I thought nothing of it, until she stood up on her tippy toes and kissed me on the cheek.

_What. The. Fuck._

She pulled away, fear filling her eyes. Before I could say anything, she ran down the stairs without another word.

…

I got home around 11:30. I thought my parents would be asleep, but they weren't. They were sitting on the couch watching some film, and when I walked in, they immediately attacked me with questions.

"Where the fuck were you?" Dad screamed from his position on the couch. Before I could respond he was in my face, glaring down at me.

"I went to Andy's for a bit." I said quietly. I wanted to give him attitude, I really did, but I decided against it. It wasn't worth it anymore because I've already accepted that I was moving to London.

"You should have texted us." Mum said from behind Dad.

"I know. I just didn't want to bother you guys after the way I acted. I wanted to cool down for a bit and I felt I should let you guys do the same. I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Dad hissed.

"Yes," I said quickly, cutting him off before he could yell at me some more. "I'm sorry for not texting you guys to let you know where I was going, and I'm sorry for the way I acted. I know you guys are just trying to do what's best for me… I just couldn't see it before, so I'm sorry."

At that, Dad's face relaxed. "I know that moving is hard for everyone, especially to another country, but we honestly think this is for the best."

"I know. And at least you're letting me finish the school year?" I said, giving them a weak smile.

Mum returned my smile and Dad leaned in the hug me. I tensed up for a moment, but then relaxed and hugged him back.

"Go to bed Ashley, you should get some sleep." Dad murmured before pulling away. I nodded, suddenly extremely exhausted.

"Okay," I replied. "Night guys, I'll see you tomorrow."

I was starting to go up the stairs to my bedroom when I remembered that the guys wanted me to hang out tomorrow.

"Hey, Mum? Dad?" I called, hanging over the railing of the stairs.

"What is it, sweetie?" Mum called from the living room, pausing the TV.

"Can I hang out with my friends tomorrow?"

"Yeah, of course." Dad called.

"Kay, awesome. Thank you!" I called before running up the stairs.

"Night!" I heard Mum call.

I walked into my bedroom and shut the door before throwing myself onto my bed. Still fully clothed, I crawled under the covers, pulling my phone out of my jeans. I sighed happily, happy to be back in my own bed, and unlocked my phone to see I had a text from Sandra.

_Hey, did you get home okay?_

Honestly, I considered not replying for a moment because of what happened between us at Andy's house. Finally, after five minutes of staring blankly at my phone, I decided to reply.

_At least I might be able to figure out what's going on with her. _I thought as I typed out my reply.

_Hey, yeah I did. Did you?_

She didn't respond for at least seven minutes, which made me sigh in relief that she wasn't like, waiting by the phone or anything. Sandra had always been horrible at texting back, so maybe there was nothing wrong with her after all.

_Haha no. I'm still at Andy's. Just about to leave though._

_Your parents are fine with you being out until stupid hours? :P_

_They don't care. I doubt they'd care if I stayed out all night._

Her reply took me by surprise. She's never mentioned her parents before, but I never thought anything of it. Sandra just seemed like the type of teenager that didn't really get all mushy or talkative about her parents, but I never thought it was because _they_ didn't care about _her._

I stared blankly at Sandra's reply, trying to craft a response of my own, but my mind kept coming up blank. What could I even say to that? Eventually, I gave in to my seemingly uncaring and boring response. I sighed as I sent it.

_Oh._

_Yeah haha. Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to go for coffee tomorrow? Like, before we meet up with the guys?_

Yet again, I found myself staring at her response in utter shock. My fingers shook slightly as I slowly typed my message.

_You mean, as a date?_

_Yeah, I mean if you want to._

_Uh, so is this what the kiss on the cheek is about?_

I never got a response from her, even though I saw that she read my message since we both had iPhones and her read receipt was on. I sighed deeply and locked my phone, tucking it under my pillow. Why did I have to ask that? I knew that if I came out and just asked about the kiss, she wouldn't reply. Sandra would just shut off completely with the bluntness of the question, because that's just how Sandra worked.

I stared into the darkness for a while before I felt my phone vibrate. Thinking Sandra actually responded I reached under my pillow to grab my phone and read her response. Turns out, she didn't think talking through text would be best anymore because she was calling me.

I paused for a fleeting moment before answering the call.

"Hello?"

"Look," Sandra started, getting right to the point. "I like you Ash. A lot. I think I have for a while. At first, I just thought I developed a crush on you to get over Andy when I realised I would never get a chance with him… But when Justin put you in the hospital I realised that it wasn't just a rebound crush… I think…" She added quietly. She cleared her voice quickly. "I really truly like you Ashley. So yes, I'm asking you out on a date."

I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. The silence seemed to stretch on for minutes, or hours, or even days, but I knew that it had just been a few seconds when Sandra decided to break it.

"Ashley?"

I cleared my throat, sputtering the first thing that came to my head.

"I'm moving soon."

Sandra let out a quiet laugh. "I know, but not for a month-"

I cut her off quickly, my mouth suddenly dry. "It's a little less than a month."

"Whatever. All I'm saying is we have time. You know, go on a couple dates, and see where things go… Maybe we'll really hit it off and like, continue kinda dating when you move? Just give me a chance Ashley, I'm not asking you to marry me."

My reply was a shot in the dark. I had no idea if it was true or not, but I needed something to say so we wouldn't fall back into an awkward silence.

"You're still not over Andy."

It was Sandra's turn to pause. I waited for her response for a couple seconds and was about to say something else when she started talking.

"No, I don't think I am… But in all fairness Ash, neither are you."

I had nothing to say to that, she was right. Then a terrible thought crossed my mind that made my guts twist in guilt; I needed to get over Andy, I really fucking needed to. Loving him hurt way to fucking much and it was driving me insane. So yes, I needed to get over Andy, that much was clear, and maybe Sandra was giving me the key to do just that, but was I really willing to use one of my best friends like that?

"So… what time tomorrow?" My mouth asked before my brain could process what was coming out of it.

"Time?" Sandra asked.

"Yes, for the uh, da- coffee tomorrow?"

"Really?" She asked, excitement seeping into her voice.

"Yeah. I mean, why not. It's just a date. Like you said, you're not asking for me to fall in love with you." I laughed. I couldn't help it because, admittedly, her excitement was kind of cute.

"Uh, I don't know. Ten maybe? I'll pick you up."

"Sounds good. See you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, alright. Night Ash." Sandra said, her voice still filled with excitement and happiness. I couldn't help but smile.

However, as soon as we hung up, the smile slipped from my face. Was I really willing to use on of my best friends like that?

Apparently, I was.


	26. Chapter 26

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

It had been two hours since I agreed to go on a date with Sandra and I was still staring up at the shadowed ceiling. Sleep wasn't even an option anymore even though I was exhausted. How could I sleep when guilt was tying my stomach into painful knots? I couldn't, it was impossible.

One question kept running through my mind. With every breath that I took, with every beat of my heart, the question was there, burning a hole into my brain.

_Why the fuck did I agree to go on a date with Sandra?_

_Because you're an ass hole. _My brain hissed at me. _ You're hurt because of Andy and you're tired of it. You want to get over Andy so you're using one of your friends to do it, even though you know you don't like her that way. You know full well that she may end up getting hurt in the end, but you don't care. You're selfish._

"I do care. I don't want her to get hurt." I whispered quietly. My brain just laughed.

_Then tell her you can't go. Tell her you made a mistake. _It told me.

I sighed heavily and rolled over to grab my phone, but as I was dialing her number I froze. I couldn't do it. Not because it would hurt her, but because I was too scared. Too selfish.

"Fuck." I said quietly. After a moment, I opened up Facebook, willing my brain to shut up. There wasn't anything interesting happening, just a few statuses from people whining about how they couldn't sleep, a few girls moaning about being single, a couple statuses saying goodnight even though no one cared, but nothing that could take my mind away from my self-created problem at hand. That is, until I scrolled down farther and saw a status from Sandra.

"_So excited about tomorrow! This year is finally starting to turn around."_

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

I clamped a hand over my mouth, realising that I had screamed. Tears started rolling down my face. I didn't know what to do. I knew I couldn't lead Sandra on like this, but I was too chicken and too selfish to do anything about it.

One thing I did know was that I needed to sleep, but I couldn't do that with all these thoughts running through my head. I groaned and rolled over, turning on my lamp. I started digging through my bedside drawer until my hand found it. My mother's blue wedding ring box. I opened it slowly, the all too familiar feeling building up in my body, causing my hands to shake.

My razor glistened in the light of the lamp, sending chills shooting through me. I picked it up with my thumb and forefinger gently. It was sharp since I had changed the blade the morning I had ended up in the hospital. It was brand new and unused so it was deadly and would cause a lot of damage, which is exactly what I wanted.

Without hesitating any longer, I rolled up my long sleeved shirt and took the blade to my wrist. I dragged the blade along my wrist slowly. It hurt more this way, and I deserved all the pain I could get. The pain ended up being too much though and I stopped cutting. I let out a small cry of disgust, realising that the cut was barely bleeding. I needed more pain and more blood. That's when I remembered the bottle of whiskey I had hidden in my wardrobe.

I carefully put my razor down on my beside table and walked over to my wardrobe. Opening the door, I paused. Isn't this how Andy had attempted suicide? By getting drunk and cutting endlessly?

I shrugged it off though, remembering that he had also taken a fuck load of pills as well. That, and he had actually wanted to die. That was his main goal in the end. I didn't want to die though; I just wanted to get some fucking sleep.

With that thought in mind, I bent down and started to shift around some discarded clothes at the bottom of the wardrobe until my hand was wrapped around the neck of the whiskey bottle. I pulled it out and walked back over to my bed, clutching the bottle protectively in my arms. I twisted off the cap as I sat down and took a swig. The bitterness of the whiskey caused me to gag slightly as the liquid burned my throat all the way down. However, I ignored it and took another swig. And another. And another. With each sip the burning and the taste lessened and I was soon able to drink it with no problem.

Not long after, the once full bottle was half empty and I was beginning to feel numb. I smiled slightly to myself and screwed the lid back onto the bottle with some difficulty. I slowly put the bottle on the nightstand with a loud thump and picked up my razor carefully, still managing to cut my thumb in the process. I stopped and watched a drop of blood leak from the shallow cut. I brushed it away quickly and brought the razor to my wrist.

My first cut was long, ragged, and deep and the blood instantly started pouring from it. The blood that ran quickly down my arm and dripped quietly onto the floor was dark red, so I wasn't worried. Dark red blood meant I had only cut a vein, not an artery.

"Which is good." I whispered, slurring my words slightly. I mean I just wanted the guilt to go away, I didn't want to die. Or did I?

I no longer knew the answer to that question.

_**Andy's Point of View**_

The idea of sleep slowly started to fade as the night ticked on. I was tired as fuck, but I couldn't fall asleep, not even with Jinxx cuddled right next to me. Every single damn night since my attempted suicide I've been having nightmares that kept me from sleep, which is why my parents started allowing Jinxx to stay the night; they were sick of me screaming and crying at stupid hours. Having my boyfriend sleeping next to me had helped for a while, but recently the nightmares had started coming back worse than ever.

I rolled over so I was on my stomach and faced Jinxx. I smiled slightly as I watched him sleep and I couldn't help but think about how cute he looked. His mouth was slightly open as he breathed deeply, his long dark hair was an absolute mess, and he looked so peaceful. I didn't want to wake him, but then again I didn't want to be the only one awake.

"Jinxx." I whispered. He didn't move and I rolled my eyes. Fuck, he was such a heavy sleeper.

"Jinxx." I tried again, a little louder. A small snore was my only response.

"Oh, for fuck sakes. Jinxx!" I said, shaking him. He jumped and sat up.

"What? Andy? What is it? Did you have another nightmare?" He asked, sleep and worry making his voice husky. If I said his sleep-filled voice didn't turn me on, I'd be a fucking liar.

I shook my head. "No. I just couldn't sleep."

"Jesus Christ Andy, it's four in the morning." He groaned.

"Huh, is it really?" I asked, smirking slightly. I moved my hand towards his leg slowly, my fingers tickling his bare thigh. "Well, you know, I'm not exactly tired, but I know a way for you to make me tired, baby."

"What?" Jinxx asked, clearly confused. He ran a hand through his hair and over his face before stopping, finally understanding what I meant. "What? No, Andy. We talked about this before, it's too soon."

"Oh, come on Jinxx. We've been dating for a while and I really to be inside of you, now." I moaned, feeling myself growing hard. My blunt statement shocked me slightly, but I was also turned on by the idea of fucking Jinxx. I never pictured myself as a top but never say never I guess.

"Andy, we've haven't even been together for a month, okay? That's not a while. Please let me go back to sleep."

I sighed as I watched him lay down. "Fine. I'm going for a smoke." I said, feeling a little bit hurt by his rejection. "I love you."

"Kay. And Andy?" Jinxx replied, yawning.

"Hmm?"

"I love you more baby."

I smiled slightly as I leaned down and kissed him softly on the lips. I pulled away and saw him close his eyes smiling to himself. Already, I felt my hurt and annoyance slipping away. Jinxx had that affect on me, and I loved him for it.

I rolled out of the bed and grabbed some sweat pants and a sweater to pull on. As I was tugging on the sweater, Jinxx's soft snores filled my room and I felt my face break into a soft smile. God I loved him.

I walked out of the door and closed it behind me quietly, not wanting to wake Jinxx, or my parents, up. I slowly made my way downstairs and to the kitchen, where I grabbed my cigarette pack off the counter and shoved it into my sweater pocket.

One of the things I loved most about my parents is that I didn't have to hide my smoking habit from them. They weren't too happy when they found out I started, but they knew they couldn't do anything about it since it was my own life. They made it very clear they were disappointed and they weren't going to support my habit by buying me smokes or anything, but that was about it.

I slipped my shoes onto my bare feet and quietly opened the door and stepped out, shutting the door behind me. I sat on the front steps and lit my smoke, wishing I had someone to talk to, but who the hell would be awake at four in the morning?

Sandra would be passed out for sure, so would CC and Jake. Ashley however…

"Ashley's always awake." I whispered to no one in particular, pulling my phone out of my pocket. I dialed his number and waited. After four rings I was beginning to give up hope that he was awake, or he was awake and was just ignoring me. However, he did eventually pick up, sounding very intoxicated.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ash, it's Andy." I replied awkwardly.

I heard him sigh. "What do you want? I'm busy."

"Ash, are you drunk?"

"So what if I am?" He asked sounding extremely annoyed.

"Well… Are you like, at a party or something?"

"No, Andy. I'm not." He said bluntly. Well, as bluntly one can sound when you're slurring all your words.

"You're drinking by yourself?" I asked, getting more worried as the conversation continued.

Ashley sighed again. "Is this why you called, Andrew? To harass me about what I do in my spare time?"

I paused. "No. I called to talk to you because I can't sleep, but now I'm just worried about you."

"No need to worry. I'm not like you, I don't get drunk and try to kill myself." Ashley said.

For that, I had no answer. Did he seriously just say that to me? I considered telling him to go fuck himself and just hang up on him, but decided against it. He needed someone.

"Can I come over?" I asked after a moment's silence.

"What? No you cannot come over." He slurred.

"Please Ashley?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeease?" I whined.

Ashley paused for a moment before replying. "No. I'm busy."

I sighed and was about to say 'fuck it, whatever' when I heard him mutter something he probably didn't want me to hear.

"Ow, fuck. Shit. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

"Ashley… What are you doing?" I asked, now extremely worried.

"Nothing." He said. I heard some shuffling, drawers being opened and the water being turned on. Then I heard him hiss in pain.

"Ash," I said as calmly as I could even though I could feel panic building up inside of me. "Ash, are you cutting yourself?"

Ashley didn't reply for a moment. I heard him moan a bit and I considered repeating the question when he finally spoke up. "So what if I was Andrew? What's it to you? Why do you care?"

I took a sharp breath to calm myself. "I'm coming over." I said before hanging up the phone, standing up, and sprinting as fast as I could to Ashley's house.

_**Ashley's Point of View**_

I swore when Andy hung up the phone. Why couldn't that little shit just leave me alone? I sighed heavily and placed my phone down on the bathroom counter and turned my attention to the problem at hand.

Talking to Andy on the phone had caused so many emotions to run through my body: happiness, shock, hurt, betrayal, anger, sadness, hatred. It had caused me to slip over the edge and cut too deep, but as I watched my blood turn the water red, I knew I would be fine. The blood was still crimson and not the shockingly bright red colour of blood that flows in arteries. If only the damn cut would just stop bleeding.

Finally, the bleeding did slow down enough for me to pull my wrist out of the freezing water. I grabbed a facecloth already stained with my blood, and gently put it on my wrist, hissing as I applied pressure. I heard a knock on my bedroom window and sighed, deciding to ignore it. However, that soon proved impossible when the knocking became panicked, more frequent, and louder.

"For fuck sakes." I muttered. With the facecloth still pressed firmly to my wrist, I made my way to my window to open it for Andy.

"What?" I asked, backing away slightly to let him in.

"Uh, hi." Andy said, attempting to climb in. I watched his pathetic attempts for a few minutes before sighing and going over to help him.

"Thanks." He muttered when he finally got inside. He turned to shut the window as I stood there watching him, highly irritated.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"To see if you're okay. I was worried." He said simply. "Give me your arm."

"What? No. I'm fine. Just slipped." I said, pulling my arm away so he couldn't grab it.

"Ashley, just fucking give me your arm." Andy hissed. I blinked, shocked at his semi outburst and held out my arm, facecloth still on the cut. Andy gently removed the cloth and I heard him take a sharp breath, but as he wiped gently at the cut, removing the worst of the blood, I saw him relax.

"See, I told you it wasn't that bad." I slurred, still pretty intoxicated from the whiskey.

"Yeah, you did." Andy muttered quietly. "Where's your stuff?"

Using my head, I pointed to the bathroom, knowing right away by 'stuff' he meant my Band-Aids, gauze, and ointment.

"Hold this." He said, handing me back the cloth and letting go of my arm. "Keep pressure on it. Don't want it to start bleeding again." He continued as he started to walk towards the bathroom.

I rolled my eyes but did what he demanded. A few seconds later, he walked back over to me.

"Come sit down on the bed." Andy said, already sitting down. I sighed and did as he told me to.

As he was fixing up the worst of the cuts I heard him sigh. "Why would you do this Ashley? Is it about moving to London?"

I shrugged, but didn't answer right away. He didn't pressure me to continue either, which I was thankful for. "Somewhat. I just wanted to sleep but the guilt wouldn't let me."

"Guilt?" Andy asked, looking up at me. His blue eyes bore into mine and for a second I forgot to breath. I looked down after a moment so I would be able to talk.

"Yes. I-I agreed to go on a date with Sandra tomorrow before we all hang out."

"Well that's good! Finally putting yourself back out there!" Andy said smiling. He looked back down and continued wrapping my cuts.

"No, it's not good. It's selfish of me."

"How?"

"I don't like her that way."

"It's just a date Ash, you never know."

Instantly, I felt myself getting annoyed. "No. I do know. You know why? Because I'm still in love with you, Andrew."

Andy stopped what he was doing again and looked back up at me, his face unreadable. "So you're feeling guilty because you know you don't like her?" He asked.

I nodded. "And because I know full well that I'm using her."

"Using her?" Andy asked. His voice had a hint of anger in it because of how much he loved and cared about Sandra. He had told me many times before that he considered Sandra the sister he never had.

I nodded again. "To get over you." I answered quietly. "It hurts so much Andy."

He was silent for a moment before he looked away from me. "I know."

"How do you know? You dumped me and you have Jinxx now."

"But I never stopped loving you." Andy said quietly.

"What?"

He looked back up at me, his eyes full of tears. "I said I never stopped loving you. I still love you Ashley, and it kills me."

I didn't know what to say. What could you say when your ex boyfriend that you're still madly in love with admitted to still loving you? So I did the only thing that my intoxicated mind could think of. I leaned over and kissed him.

Andy froze, hands still on my wrist. My kiss wasn't returned so I pulled away, hurt and guilt forming a pit in my stomach. I felt tears form in my eyes and I looked away.

"Andy, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean it-"

"Of course you meant it." Andy said quietly, cutting my off. I didn't look up.

"I guess. I just… fuck, I don't know what to say. I'm sor-"

"Ash," Andy interrupted me again. "For the love of fucking God, shut the fuck up."

I felt his hand grip my chin roughly, forcing me to look up. When I did, his lips met mine in a rough and passionate kiss. I snaked my hands around his waist, pulling him in closer and I felt him moan softly against my mouth. His hands began to intertwine with my hair and I felt his tongue lick the bottom of my lip, asking permission to enter. I granted him access and felt myself melt as his tongue explored my mouth. Andy tasted amazing; he tasted of peppermint and cigarette smoke. I didn't like the taste of cigarette much, but I couldn't bring myself to care. To me, the taste of cigarettes reminded me of the taste of Andy, a taste I have been craving for weeks.

Andy broke the kiss and pulled away, pecking my lips twice before scrunching up his nose. "You taste like alcohol."

I chuckled. "You taste like cigarettes."

He laughed slightly before looking directly at me, making me shift uncomfortably. "What are you staring at?"

"You. I just… fuck Ashley. I missed you."

I felt myself blush and looked down. "I missed you too Andy."

We fell into an uncomfortable silence before Andy cleared his throat. "So… Do you have anymore alcohol?"

I laughed, nodding.

"Want to offer your guest some then?" He asked playfully. "Gosh, Ash. You're such a horrible host."

I laughed and hit him gently on the arm. "You're an uninvited guest, you dildo."

"Dildo?" He cried softly, obviously mocking me. "That hurts."

"Shut up." I snickered. "It was the best I could come up with."

I reached over and grabbed the bottle of whiskey that was still sat upon my bedside table. "Here. I don't have any glasses, so I guess you're just going to have to deal."

Andy chuckled. "I'm sure I'll manage."

"Asssssssshley. I'm drunk. You got me drunk." Andy whined from his spot on my bed. I rolled over so I was leaning on my hand to face him.

"Oh please. You got yourself drunk. You've drank almost all of this by yourself!" I chuckled.

"It was only half full when I got it!" He said, trying to defend himself.

I just shrugged and laughed. "Pass it here."

Andy handed over the bottle and I brought it up to my lips to take a swig. I heard Andy moan softly from beside me and looked over at him.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just, fucking hell. You're so fucking hot Ash. You're turning me on."

"By drinking out of a bottle?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Andy shrugged. "I'm drunk, leave me alone. I get turned on easier when I'm wasted."

"Oh," I said playfully. "You want me to leave you alone? That's too bad."

Andy looked at me for a second, his eyes unfocused. "Get your ass over here, Purdy."

I smiled and scooted closer to him. Instantly, his mouth was on mine again in a sloppy, eager kiss. I returned it willingly, moving my mouth with his. Not long after I felt his tongue against my lips and I opened my mouth. This time though, instead of making me melt, the feeling of his tongue turned me on. I wanted him, badly.

Almost as if he read my mind, he whispered, "I want you Purdy. Now."

In a moment I was on top of him, his crotch rubbing with mine, our kiss never breaking.

"Holy fuck, Andrew." I breathed. "You're really turned on."

"So are you." He replied, bringing his hand down to my crotch and rubbing it hard with his palm. I moaned loudly. He continued for a moment before stopping and making eye contact with me.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked, his eyes filled with lust.

"No."

"That's a good boy." Andy's voice was rough and I felt my pants grow tighter. In a moment, I was flipped over so that Andy was on top of me, sucking and kissing my neck. Even in my drunken state, I couldn't believe this was happening. Deep down I knew this was wrong, that we should stop, but I couldn't bring myself to care. When I was with Andy, nothing else seemed to matter.

Something tugging at the bottom of my shirt pulled me away from my thoughts. I looked down and realised Andy was trying to take it off. I batted his hands away gently and pulled off my shirt, reveling my many cuts and scars.

He didn't seem to mind though, and leaned down to continue sucking on my neck.

"I love you." He whispered quietly as he began making his way down my body.

"I love you too." I moaned as he started to kiss my stomach. He stopped when he reached my 'Outlaw' scar and looked up at me.

"Ashley…" He started.

"Stop." I said quickly, cutting him off. "I was in a really bad place. I had just lost you and-"

"You have me now baby." He whispered as he started kissing the scared letters on my stomach.

"No, Jinxx has you." I said quietly. Again, Andy stopped to look at me.

"Tonight, lets forget about him. Tonight, it's just you and me."

In a moment, I felt his fingers at the edge of my sleep pants, but that's where he stopped. It was almost as if he was asking permission. I looked down and smiled, giving a small nod of my head. Andy returned my smile and slowly pulled down my pants.

I didn't even have time to be self-conscious because in a heartbeat, his mouth was wrapped firmly around my dick. He started bobbing his head quickly and I let out a loud moan. After a few more bobs, he took me out of his mouth and kissed the tip, teasing me.

"Tell me how much you want me." He whispered.

"There are no words to describe how much I want you." I replied, moaning softly as he continued kissing my length.

"Then tell me with you moans."

And just like that, I was back in his mouth. He started to softly hum as he continued sucking, the vibrations causing waves of pleasure to course through my body.

"Fu-fuck A-andy."

"Don't cum yet. Don't cum until I tell you to." He replied, his voice husky.

_So he's a top. _I found myself thinking, and that thought turned me on even more.

"Andy, I can't… Just… Oh my god, please just fuck me."

"As you wish." Andy said seductively. He stood up and pulled off his sweat pants and boxers and his length made me gasp quietly.

"You like what you see?" Andy chuckled.

"You know I do."

He got on my bed and started to crawl towards me when I groaned. "Wait, fuck."

"What?"

"Lube." I replied, standing up. I walked over to my wardrobe and kneeled, digging around until I finally found it. I stood up and walked over to him.

"Here."

"Is it your first time?" Andy asked suddenly, taking the lube from me.

"No. I've done it once before with a guy. Why else would I have lube?" I chucked.

Andy laughed. "Yeah, I guess. Stupid question."

"Is it yours?"

"Kinda. I fooled around with a guy a couple years ago. We never went all the way though."

I nodded and laid back on the bed.

"Ready?" He asked. I just nodded in response. Andy put a little lube on my entrance and on his fingers and tossed the bottle somewhere on the bed. I felt him slowly push one finger inside of me and I moaned quietly. He started to roll his finger around, stretching me and I arched my back. He slowly pushed another finger inside of me and started scissoring.

"Holy fuck Andy." I moaned quietly.

"Are you sure this isn't your first time? You're really tight."

I just nodded, unable to say anything else. He pushed a third finger in and started moving faster until he got up to a decent pace. My moans were more frequent, louder.

"An-Andy, fuck me."

I felt his fingers leave me and he shifted so that he was on top of me, positioning himself.

"Are you ready?" He asked quietly.

"Yes."

"Good." He whispered as he pushed himself inside of me.

_**A/N: I'm just going to stop there haha. That was so awkward to write. **_

_**I'm also really sorry I haven't updated faster! I've just been really busy with work and online courses and stuff. I'll try to update quicker in the future.**_

_**As always, my lovely friends, tell me what you thought of the chapter (or how you're liking the story thus far.) Even if your opinion is negative, please let me know. Any kind of feedback make me a happy writer. **_

_**See you next chapter!**_

_**Love you all. xoxo**_


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